Venting Why I don't see a reason to try in my life.

[Nemaki Arber]

I won't lie it just seems so pointless, since the beginning of my life I've been given a shit hand, I'm 27nb (any pronouns, biologically a woman) from growing in an abusive household, severe social difficulties to getting involved with the wrong people leaving me traumatized and wary of people in general.

It seems anytime I try to get better as a person, someone wants to hinder my progress. It seems I'm not allowed to have made mistakes despite that I grew up severely abused, had my emotions dismissed, was molested as a child, etc, but whatever.

Anytime I make new friends or join a new group , I get betrayed somehow or maybe its the trauma? I don't know, but I just can't seem to heal from it

But what's the point of trying to be a better person if everyone are always going to see you as this toxic asshole, even if you haven't shown any toxic behaviour in years, but I also don't want to be a bad person, that's just not who I am. Its just that hopeless I guess

 

[FuneralCry]

The unfortunate reality is that there could never be anything fair about existing in this cruel world, as long as one exists here there is no peace from suffering.
But it's just so horrible how cruel humans create so much harm and just make the lives of others much worse. This world undeniably is hell and I'm sorry that life has tortured you so much.