Story Why I am here

[giagal]

I'm 47. I've been struggling with borderline and bipolar disorders all my life, but I found out only 5 years ago. Before that, I used to be just baffled at how chaotic and unpredictable my life and myself were. After targeted therapy, it got better, and then it got worse, and then better again, and then worse and so on. The more I age, the more I feel tired and exhausted by this whole unforgiving process. Romantic relationships are impossible, friendships are challenging, family is judgemental, and loneliness is overwhelmingly pervasive. To top it all up, lately, I am being automated away by AI, while I watch the world walk into another world war and excalating extreme events as the climate changes at an exponential pace. I've always had a pretty bleak vision of life in general since I was a kid, when I was trying to fend off my mother's relentless assaults on my person, not so much at a physical level, but rather psychological, with constant criticism that used to drive me insane. I have developed into a highly sensitive person, in particular to hypocrisy, stupidity and lack of empathy. This is not a nice place to be. Fortunately, I have a spiritual side and I've had many spiritual experiences over the years that give me hope that, in the end, regardless of what I do, things will be just fine. So, I want to extend a warm hug to all the people in this community who also struggle and who may have negative feelings about the outcomes of their actions after ctb. I like to think that we will all be just fine in the end. Much love

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel tired of it all, it truly is such a cruel existence where people suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find peace eventually.