Why haven't you ctb yet?

[mono]

I'm not scared of death, I'm scared of living l. If I ctb and fail I will forever have to live with the embaresment and pain that comes with 'surviving' an attempt, my life will be completely ruined.

 

[busybee]

Can't even get out of bed at the moment so the effort to ctb is really far over the energy level that I got.

 

[etrnllxid]

I have no way to get SN and Antiemetics. if I did I'd probably sprint to the delivery vehicle

 

[TheMetalhead]

Waiting till my family member's birthdays are over, looking forward to my favourite band's new album that comes up in September and other than that nothing really, I have all the means to CTB any day honestly

 

[FuneralCry]

Because for me all the methods are either risky or inaccessible, we exist in this dreadful world where we are denied a way to just leave in peace in a guaranteed way, it's the consequence of existing in this anti-suicide society, it really disgusts me how suicide is purposely made so difficult, it shows a lack of compassion. If there was the option to just fall asleep eternally I would had left a while ago, preventing unnecessary suffering as a result.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Can't afford a gun. Depression makes me not able to work so I'm stuck in this shit limbo. I don't want to hang but I might have to at this rate.

 

[itsyourfault]

I feel like I am not ready to ctb yet. All the time I end up saying to myself: "Now is just not the right time". Idk, maybe I am afraid of it. Although I am just waiting to reach the breaking point. We will see.

 

[UKscotty]

Because I'm a coward, only reason.

 

[Departme]

No simple way first, also a sibling who relies on me and it is only me for her (locked in sundrome). My own reason for being here is a back spine fracture which leaves me in pain 24/7 and then there is living which being truthful is hard on 99% of people. Life when I grew up as a kid in the 70s is not like now, there was genuine community, fair living and care, then now, its just a rat race where money rules, too many people and rulers who control the narrative to benefit them and see the majority suffer.

 

[wagner2029]

I've already assembled my cdb, a nitrogen cylinder and an exit bag, I've been putting it off for 4 weeks, something blocks me, I'm terribly afraid, but I don't know what I'm afraid of, I'm trying to understand my fear, maybe whether it's just the millions of years of evolution trying to keep me alive.
I have no religion, I can't believe in god, all I have to do is put the exit bag over my head and open the valve, but something's stopping me.

 

[StolenLife]

Because I don't have any money to acquire necessary items. I will be able to earn money only after I finish University.

 

[Abbydrea]

I'm worried about how it will affect my gf if she's the one who finds my body, I don't want that to happen I'd rather go missing then having her find me. Also money is an issue.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

SN still didn't come

 

[ihatethisplanet]

Fear of failure, fear of hell, having no idea how to get SN and even if I could, probably couldn't get it down, and the thought of my mother being in agonizing emotional pain doesn't help.

I want to load up on Klonopin, put a bag over my head secured with a rubber band and wait, but who knows if it would work. I will have times where early discovery wouldn't happen, but I'm just unsure. It's discussed in one of the suicide books I have, but I'd be the dolt to mess it up and fail.

 

[DeathSleep]

I'm waiting for a gun. Or the right time to risk another failure. I don't want anyone to find out if it doesn't work. I don't want to be committed. It would just make life more unbearable. I guess I'm afraid of failure. But, I'm afraid of living as well.

 

[JustABug]

I have the crushing desire too but have no determination for it.

 

[Odahviing475]

Need a way to get SN, and I'm too lazy/zero-energy to do the research to get it. I'm already prescribed the antiemetic I need.

 

[hopeisdead]

I have no way to get SN and Antiemetics. if I did I'd probably sprint to the delivery vehicle

Same. Also fear of heights/jumping which is "my method" since I'm too dumb to figure out hanging. No place to do full suspension, don't even know how to tie the damn knots. Live with roommates so can't be thrashing around with partial. Can't get a gun in my state because I've been in psych treatment, nor can I afford one, nor do I have time to wait to be approved for one anyway even if that was remotely a possibility. I have huge cable ties that I bought weeks ago but afraid of that failing and just leaving a huge mark on my neck. FML.

 

[roboteulogy]

a couple reasons. hope hasn't ran out completely yet. not that it's a consistent thing, i just have some level of hope from moment to moment even though it doesn't make logical sense. i'm not exactly sure why that happens when i know for sure that this is as good as it gets for me.

i feel a bit obligated to live because of a couple of friends, i don't want to upset them.

my chosen method isn't really easy for me either and i'm too depressed to practice. i hate the rope digging into my neck and it makes the door rattle a bit and i'm scared of someone finding me while i attempt because i won't get another chance if i fail.

and death as a concept still scares me, truth be told. i don't want to die, i want to live a better life. suicide is just a means of tapping out of this miserable existence, i wish it wasn't this way. i would've enjoyed life in different circumstances. but nothing's gonna change and this is the only option i have left and i'm too scared and not apathetic enough to go through with it.

 

[SpaceBoyEvangef]

My life is slowly starting to get better, I've been going to social events and stuff, I still do have urges to ctb here and there, but, I know it's best not to ctb due to my social life and missing out on things involving my interests.

 

[bluebus]

Funny enough, my main reason is your username. I was planning it out and everything was going good. I started feeling really sick a couple of days ago and it's been getting worse. Could barely get off the couch today to make tea. Turns out it's mono lol. I don't have the energy to do anything right now.

 

[Amidaa]

Because most method now involve many risk if you fail, it would result in more suffering that i do not want. being here is just dreadful by it self i just wish there are more peacefull and painless way to get out of here. but we are unfortunate to live in this anti-suicide society that denied our way to find peace by our own means.