Every time I contact a helpline it's the old same stuff. I've completely given up on psychiatric services owing to a very traumatising experience, but I sometimes still try to engage with helplines. I've just finished a webchat conversation with a volunteer and it was such a frustrating experience. :( No doubt their intentions were good, but the training these charities provide must teach them to converse like robots.
After they ask why I'm suffering from suicidal thoughts, I usually write a paragraph or two explaining how the essence of what it is to be human is completely missing from my life. I won't put you guys through that, so I'll condense it into a list for context: no family, no friends, no relationships, no hobbies, never had a job, can't even watch TV without smoking weed or taking street amphetamines (I wouldn't be able to write this without amphetamines), I'm terrified of people seeing my face, I only go out to go to the shop and even that is too much. After this I usually get a semi-scripted response feigning concern, something like "that sounds very hard; you're really brave for contacting us".
The rest of the script is as follows: they ask if I have even saught help from a doctor, patronise me by suggesting a trivial coping mechanism, signpost me to a couple of other charities, and then bring the conversation to an abrupt end. They will intermittently remind me how wonderful, brave and smart I am for contacting them, of course.
These services seem to be catered towards people with very modest difficulties. I can understand how they would be useful if, say, sombody had very recently begun to suffer from suicidal thoughts due to money troubles and wasn't sure where to get help, and therefore potentially has a lot to gain from being referred to a charity that supports people who are going through financial difficulties. For those of us with myriad long-term problems they have nothing to offer other than a very disingenuous-seeming "There, there. Life will get better soon". People have been saying that to me for years, so they're either chatting bullcrap or have a very flexible definition of "soon".
I would find it so much more comforting if they would admit they can't do anything to help other than chat to me, and that it does sound as though I'm pretty screwed. Most of the time I don't contact them because I believe they have any answers or am going to end my life there and then: I just don't want to suffer alone, or want to share how I'm feeling with someone. The scripted responses and the rules they're made to follow mean they can't even do that, and reinforces the belief that nobody actually cares. It's really starting to seem that way.
After they ask why I'm suffering from suicidal thoughts, I usually write a paragraph or two explaining how the essence of what it is to be human is completely missing from my life. I won't put you guys through that, so I'll condense it into a list for context: no family, no friends, no relationships, no hobbies, never had a job, can't even watch TV without smoking weed or taking street amphetamines (I wouldn't be able to write this without amphetamines), I'm terrified of people seeing my face, I only go out to go to the shop and even that is too much. After this I usually get a semi-scripted response feigning concern, something like "that sounds very hard; you're really brave for contacting us".
The rest of the script is as follows: they ask if I have even saught help from a doctor, patronise me by suggesting a trivial coping mechanism, signpost me to a couple of other charities, and then bring the conversation to an abrupt end. They will intermittently remind me how wonderful, brave and smart I am for contacting them, of course.
These services seem to be catered towards people with very modest difficulties. I can understand how they would be useful if, say, sombody had very recently begun to suffer from suicidal thoughts due to money troubles and wasn't sure where to get help, and therefore potentially has a lot to gain from being referred to a charity that supports people who are going through financial difficulties. For those of us with myriad long-term problems they have nothing to offer other than a very disingenuous-seeming "There, there. Life will get better soon". People have been saying that to me for years, so they're either chatting bullcrap or have a very flexible definition of "soon".
I would find it so much more comforting if they would admit they can't do anything to help other than chat to me, and that it does sound as though I'm pretty screwed. Most of the time I don't contact them because I believe they have any answers or am going to end my life there and then: I just don't want to suffer alone, or want to share how I'm feeling with someone. The scripted responses and the rules they're made to follow mean they can't even do that, and reinforces the belief that nobody actually cares. It's really starting to seem that way.
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