Why do you want to ctb?

[hunter_lewis]

Poll is attached

 

[Daystavro]

I've mentioned it a few times before on other threads.
It's not just one reason it's a combination of a few :
I am male 26.
1 ) I have no financial futureI - don't want to work in nightmarish jobs and be poor my whole life.
2 ) I have no social future - I have social anxiety and I hate talking or interacting with people.
I never had a gf and never will because of my social anxiety.
3 ) I hate the country I live in. And wished I could live in the USA.
That will never happen though and so I prefer to ctb than to spend my whole life in this hellhole.
4 ) The past - both bad memories from the past and feelings of regrets over mistakes and missed oppurtunities.
5 ) Society and humanity at large - I hate humanity and human society and don't want to be a part of it anymore.

These are the reasons why I want to ctb and escape from this nightmarish existence for all eternity.

 

[bigj75]

All of those choices on the poll.

 

[-OneLastWhiskey]

Uncurable body odor.

 

[Final Escape]

Uncurable body odor.

That sounds like a horrible affliction.

 

[Final Escape]

I want to die because I missed out on creating an acceptable life. I don't want to suffer in the second half of it. The wages of sin is death and that's basically what I did. I failed to pursue the right goals and now it's goin to be painfully hard from here on out if I decided to keep going. I have absolutely nothing to look forward to besides old age, desperate poverty, homelessness, and more isolation. I'm just wanting to avoid the hellish future that awaits.

 

[Threads]

The list goes on and on and on.

I'm a survivor of intra-familial sexual abuse (thx mom). After the abuse stopped, I spent the next 7 years going from doctor to doctor with my mother making up/embellishing medical conditions and refusing treatment for a legitimate illness I had. After she couldn't lie about about the physical conditions, she lied about the mental conditions. She took me to multiple psychiatrists until I was eventually diagnosed with 'bipolar disorder' (lol' I'm not bipolar). And has me thrown into a psych ward. My mother had me put into psych wards anytime I disagreed with her.

I mean. I also had a physically abusive step father. I was constantly malnourished. Drugged on ritalin, buspar, clonidine, risperdal, celexa, lithium, zyprexa, zoloft, abilify, and symbalta for over two decades.

So I have severe PTSD, depression, and that doesn't even begin to include the Christian right wing cult I was inducted into for three years. And cancer. And not knowing my father. And everything else.

 

[borderline_over]

Because I'm an overdramatic piece of shit who inconveniences and hurts and/or annoys every single person around me.

 

[jaemus12]

It's a complicated, long useless story to tell to be honest.

I won't waste your time. Just super sayin'

 

[TAW122]

I have multiple reasons and since I can't select multiple options, I went with other. My reasons include poor career outlook (even in STEM fields job hunting isn't "easy" at all), isolation (forget even having a partner, relationship with others since I am effectively friendless IRL - no one invites me to shit, never initiates contact, treats me as if I'm expendable and invisible, etc.), anxiety has gotten worse over the years (and not getting any better at all - it's a chore just to be at normal calmness), and of course, philosophical as well as societal reasons (right to die, mad at the fact that voluntary euthanasia is still not a thing in most western societies).

 

[Nihilist]

Boredom and general dislike of life on Earth.

 

[worldexploder]

All apply except for poor career outlook. My uncle and I are both on SSI and I found out yesterday that my aunt makes 45 dollars an hour. I ain't hurting for money I'm just hurting. If I wanted, I could ask for a new iPad, another 60 inch flat screen TV, and all the video game consoles that I could ever dream of. Money doesn't take away the pain. I actually don't want for much.

I dropped my iPad about 10 times in a year while drunk. Got most of the corners busted and sometimes my iPad don't work. Yet I don't feel the need to ask for a new one. As long as it's functional it's good enough for me.

 

[-OneLastWhiskey]

That sounds like a horrible affliction.

It's called TMAU. Suicide rates are high.

 

[Anubist]

Tinnitus

 

[Trashcan]

Depression, social anxiety, no future, and no will to live. I think life is very pointless and I do not want to put up with humans anymore. The world population just keeps increasing and I get irrationally mad to see how much crowded this area is getting. I want to escape before it increases anymore.

 

[Final Escape]

It's called TMAU. Suicide rates are high.

I bet, especially if u cannot get to the bottom of what u can do to fix it. There's probably treatments but difficult to access. It's kind of like finding consistent and effective mental healthcare. Apparently there is more money to be made by people not being appropriately treated and put on disability lol! Or worse yet, left to be homeless and dying in the street. Democratic socialism sucks and kills so many people because of the altered incentive structure and harming of free market.

 

[EpidemicOfDenial]

Uncurable body odor.

Is it possible to cover yourself with a smell proof material?

 

[Empty Smile]

Depression and anxiety for decades. Nothing makes me happy. And the only person I loved the most in this world was taken from me.

Stop the earth, I want the fuck off.

 

[nzdarkshark]

Unable to pursue the career I really want, can't be with my gf cos of her homophobic family and the distance from nz to the states. Species dysphoria which people think is some stupid tumblr thing, undiagnosed depression, self hatred

 

[wanttodie]

Depression and a lot more

 

[Circles]

Life is a Sisyphus treadmill back to oblivion. It's all a pointless charade.

 

[Circles]

Boredom and general dislike of life on Earth.

Atleast someone else understands.

 

[Daystavro]

Life is a Sisyphus treadmill back to oblivion. It's all a pointless charade.

The thing is this.
If life were 100% enjoyment - no need to work,no disease, no worry, no stress, then it wouldn't matter that it's pointless.
But it's a pointless nightmare/torture.

 

[bigj75]

Uncurable body odor.

Is that possible?

I mean wash and deodorant should be enough to cover it up.

 

[Dani Paradox]

I'm already dead. I need to finish the job.

 

[Eren]

Depression, useless social, completely isolated, I have no hope of a good future.

 

[longingforrelease]

I destroyed a truly beautiful life. I was a tenured professor, had a loving wife and an out of this world daughter, respected member of my community, I travelled internationally to amazing places, etc. In other words, I had a life that gave me enormous satisfaction. I had gotten sober (almost 18 years without a drink). Enjoyed a spirituality that kept me grounded and pushed me to give back to society. I was immensely happy. Then I got hooked on prescription amphetamines and later even got involved in meth. These drugs sparked an extended manic episode (I'm bipolar) in which I did terrible things. Hypersexuality led me to cheat on my wife, even got involved with prostitutes. My university found out about the meth and prostitutes and got fired. My wife understandably left me and got custody of our daughter. I had to move 10,000 miles away to find a job in my field. I owe more in back taxes than I'll ever be able to pay. Now I don't earn enough to continue paying student loans. I'm now alone, filled with unrelenting shame and remorse for my unforgivable behavior. I miss the life I had more than I can express. And I feel the absence of my daughter in my life like an amputee must miss a limb. I'll never know the joy and contentment that was the life I threw away. And I can't bear that fact.

 

[violetskin96]

I chose physical illness because I though that was the best answer but there are a few more. I have a chronic physical illness that shows no signs of relenting even though I've tried everything to make it better for the last 10 years. It's something that brings me unbearable insecurity and pain. I've stuggled with depression and anxiety since i was a child. I developed an eating disorder at age 9 and although ive gotten past that, i just feel like there is something inheirently wrong with me. The guy i've been dating over 3 years has suddenly stopped talking to me, it hurts, I don't know if its something i did, or he just found someone better - probably the ladder. they are perfect by no means but I love my family, I just can't put up with all the misery i constantly feel just to make them feel ok. I am almost 22 and still living with my mother. I am depressed, i am a burden and a downer most of the time. and in the long run i feel i'm bringing them down if i can't change. I've been feel suicidal for years now. i feel more resolved than ever these days. I'm not strong enough to live in the body and mind on this planet.

 

[samsays89]

Liver disease, schizophrenia, depression, and alcoholism. I'd rather drink than take prescription antipsychotics but I always drink too much and end up puking everything I take for days. I couldn't even drink water earlier this week.

I hope to be terminal in the next couple years so my family will blame my suicide on alcohol instead of themselves. I probably won't be able to ctb anytime soon due to some stupid family drama. My aunt called me crying because my grandmother blames her for my problems since I live in their house. My aunt already had her brother (by my same first name) get shot when she was a kid so I'll need to handle my situation carefully to avoid grief from her and my mother.

 

[Maravillosa]

I am afraid of old age and dying of natural causes -- especially when I see my mother's decline -- and want to control the circumstances of my departure from this world. I have had depression for most of my life: it has warped my life opportunities and obliged me to live below what would otherwise be my potential. Also, I am intrigued by the afterlife and want to experience it for myself.