why do you want to ctb?

[sessh0maru]

for me, i mainly want to ctb because i feel as if i have no direction in life anymore. and my life is just falling apart in my own hands, and i can't do anything to fix it.

 

[whatatimetobealive]

deep down i know im destined for it. when things go horribly wrong for me, its my first impulse. benzos have saved me many times from harming myself. but ive still attempted a few times. i dont have the courage to do it, and i cant own a gun anymore (which imo is the easiest way to do it). sometimes its easier to find reasons to keep going than to take your own life. things will always change, for better or for worse. i tell myself theres always more to see. if youre at the end of your rope, then rip yourself from expectation. do something unexpected, risky, and freeing. just pack a bag and start driving. hop on a freight train and see where you end up. whats the point of holding back? live like theres no tomorrow, and maybe youll change your mind, maybe you wont. maybe you'll find what youre looking for.
i dont know what your situation is, but i do believe there will always be at least one thing in your control, and you must focus on what you can do right now with your own hands. grab hold of the steering wheel of life and take your fate into your own hands.

also i do believe it should be our right to choose not to live anymore. we didnt choose to be here, we should have the option to go peacefully if we want to. euthanasia is a kindness. being a human is quite agonizing and im personally not a fan of this form of existence. intelligence is a prison. the less i know the better.

 

[thelostautistic]

I feel like I'm a completely broken person that will never get better. There's too much wrong with me and I'm overwhelmed by it all the time. I'm autistic, mentally ill and I have a chronic illness. Everyday is a struggle and I just can't see myself ever being happy and coping well in this world.

 

[itsgone2]

Kind of same as op. Just too much wrong now and I'm not good enough to fix it all.

 

[Hollowman]

Failure to build a life disorder.

 

[DexterPig]

I let down everyone and I'm not enjoying being here. Professional help has done nothing for me long-term

 

[FuneralCry]

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to finally be at peace from the suffering, torture and cruelty of existing where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured, to me existence is just a terrible mistake that just causes endless amounts of suffering with existing beings tortured in agony every second, no matter what I'll just always prefer to not exist than suffer in this dreadful, harmful existence that just tortures existing beings, for me non-existence is just all that's desirable.

I'd only be relieved to finally be at peace from the abomination of existence, to me existence is the problem, all I want is to be permanently unconscious finally free from the torturous burden of existing and I find it so horrific how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, no matter what this existence should just never be imposed, all that imposing this existence does is just cause all this torture, harm and suffering.

 

[Molotongo]

My entire existence was a accident and that's exactly what I feel like
I'm only here because I would disappoint my mom even more if I did that, I see no other point in living, I can barely stand up and never talk to people, I never had a friend

 

[kitkatt]

Because I'm tired of fighting so hard just to still feel like I'm drowning. Because I'm tired of being the third wheel friend. Because I just don't know how much more of this I can take:(

 

[sessh0maru]

My entire existence was a accident and that's exactly what I feel like
I'm only here because I would disappoint my mom even more if I did that, I see no other point in living, I can barely stand up and never talk to people, I never had a friend

i completely understand. if i ctb my mum might do the same, and i dont want that to happen, im her whole world. no matter how hard life gets, i promise you that it can get better with time and paitence. suicide is a permanent solution for temporary problems. youre loved and needed in this world.

 

[Molotongo]

i completely understand. if i ctb my mum might do the same, and i dont want that to happen, im her whole world. no matter how hard life gets, i promise you that it can get better with time and paitence. suicide is a permanent solution for temporary problems. youre loved and needed in this world.

I wish you only the best I hope you get better

 

[Riu]

There is nothing I want to do so it feels like everything is pointless. I also have a hard time making and keeping friends, and I also don't have any family I'm that close with I've accepted that I'm gonna be alone and never truly connect with another person and I see no point in living like this. I've tried everything, there's not really anything I enjoy doing that much. Feels like I've been living the same pointless days for forever now and I don't see anything changing for me. Even waking up in the morning to do anything feels like climbing a mountain. No matter how much I rest I still feel tired and like I'm dying. So I just want to pass, and stop living like a machine.