Discussion Why do you want to be found?

[JimFord99]

So, one wants to CTB badly, no matter what. So do I. I make discrete and careful considered preparations. So do others. But why leave a note behind or make a last phone call or give other hints away? This is a severe reduction in success, if not a failure at all. I know I am going to do it, I do not want to be found and I do not going to write a good bye note. What is the point in this? I really would like to understand this. This is not criticism or judgin, just need to understand, so do not take offence.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I think leaving a note give a sense of sanity, understanding and ultimately closure to the bereaved.
When my grandpoppa killed himself, he just disappeared and we all went mental looking for him.
Also my mom I don't think understood his motive and therefore doesn't forgive him, and while he is dead, that is pain she must hold forever.
Even if we choose to end ourselves we should still try and be kind. The world needs more love, even if we cannot find love for ourselves.
DBD

 

[Lookingforabus]

So, one wants to CTB badly, no matter what. So do I. I make discrete and careful considered preparations. So do others. But why leave a note behind or make a last phone call or give other hints away? This is a severe reduction in success, if not a failure at all. I know I am going to do it, I do not want to be found and I do not going to write a good bye note. What is the point in this? I really would like to understand this. This is not criticism or judgin, just need to understand, so do not take offence.

Generally, people who CtB and leave behind people who care about them, and want to make it as easy as possible on those people. Having a body and a note generally helps in the grieving process. (And the lived ones won't spend time and money search in vain for a "missing" loved one). If someone who CtBs has assets to leave his/her survivors, being found dead makes it much quicker and easier to execute a will. There are other, less common motivations as well - someone on here recently posted a thread about suicide in response to an upcoming prison term... I imagine that if he were to go "missing", the government would try to find track him down on the assumption he "fled from justice", which would involve questioning and generally harassing his loved ones about where he's hiding or ran off to, so avoiding that would be another reason to want to be found.

A lot of people who CtB also have self interested reasons, like a desire for a certain type of funeral, burial/cremation preferences, and that sort of thing. Sometimes this is based in religious beliefs that stipulate a particular way a body is to be handled, sometimes it's just personal preference. (I personally don't understand that, but it's important to some people.)

But why leave a note behind or make a last phone call or give other hints away? This is a severe reduction in success, if not a failure at all.

Not necessarily. A lot of people who attempt suicide don't really want to succeed, and will do things like call a friend or emergency services for help in order to be saved. So yes, the statistics may show that people who leave a note or call someone are less likely to succeed, but that's also a biased sample - it includes a large proportion of people who don't actually want to die.

 

[Asta]

Jim, a lot of people have wanted to leave a hand-written note for the "authorities", stating what they used to cause their deaths in order to protect their friends or relatives so they would not be suspected of aiding or encouraging, and to prevent an autopsy; also that they didn't want to be resuscitated (DNR), though EMT's probably ignore that. In a separate typed note they sometimes state what they want done with their bodies, as a lot of people would like it cremated. When my friend left a note, there was no need for an autopsy.

 

[woxihuanni]

It makes sense that it is to ease grief on people left behind. That is precisely why I am not going to leave a note. If a certain person feels anything than relief and joy at finding my body, let them.

 

[Luchs]

So, one wants to CTB badly, no matter what. So do I. I make discrete and careful considered preparations. So do others. But why leave a note behind or make a last phone call or give other hints away? This is a severe reduction in success, if not a failure at all. I know I am going to do it, I do not want to be found and I do not going to write a good bye note. What is the point in this? I really would like to understand this. This is not criticism or judgin, just need to understand, so do not take offence.

I don't want to be found, but maybe by leaving a manifesto of some sort behind I can have an impact on people around me and give them something instead of just taking away.

 

[Lennox]

I think the other posters covered all the reasons I could think of. My personal reasons aren't much different.

But why leave a note behind or make a last phone call or give other hints away? This is a severe reduction in success, if not a failure at all.

You can set up delayed electronic messages, like delayed emails, that will only be sent to police/friends/family many hours after you ctb, as a measure of safety.

 

[wanttodie]

I want to be found so family and police don't have to keep looking for my body and want family to know I ended my life so they know it was not murdered

 

[Soul]

It's not that I want to be found; I'd be perfectly happy becoming food for fish or birds or forest animals. But since I'm disabled, I anticipate dying at home, and I prefer to be found than to have my housemates wandering stupidly around wondering what the stink is.

I don't plan any notes other than a statement letting the poluce know it was suicide. I've had a will and an advance directive for ages.

 

[Darkhaven]

The note, in my case, would be to leave some instructions on how i would like my body to be handled.

 

[Mud.]

I need to let somebody know because I don't want to bother my neighbours with a nasty smell.
I live alone and I am alone. I don't have a social network, my parents are dead and I don't have siblings or children.

So I'll send an e-mail to my doctor with Boomerang.
This makes it very easy to set the date and the time the e-mail will be send.
(Also, if something happens and I change my mind, I can prevent the e-mail from being send up until the very last moment.)

My doctor knows my reasons. No need to explain anything on that front.
I'll just give some practical information (how to get into my house) and say thanks for the support throughout the years.

In my living room, I'll leave a practical note for the people that have to take care of my body, house, possessions, etc.

 

[Bukmeikara1]

Imagine the idea that Life is a single players game and once you die, everyone disappeares? Given my own inner demons and thoughts about suicide - why should we leave any kind of letter if not only to boost our Ego? A letter wont help the ones we leave behind, it helps only our Ego to somehow feel good and reinforce the idea for suicide. In a way that is arrogant by "us". Life is about randomness and unpredictability, if people around us dont know the reasons behind our decisions than maybe they should use that as experience to pay more attention.

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

I want to be found (eventually), just to give people in my life a sense of closure. It might help them move on a bit quicker.