Discussion Why do you think you're still here?

[StaticCryBabye]

As the title suggest why? Sorry if the question sounds really rude.

For me, it's the same thing again and again. I'm just too scared to do it right now, nor am I fully committed to doing so. For now, I'm just trying whatever the fuck I can do to improve anything. My hygiene certainly got better, and I actually do make an effort to take care of myself just out of habit from forcing myself to do it, but aside from that, nothing socially or anything that I can be truly happy off.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Only because I haven't taken myself out, yet. Working towards it. I'm not still here because I have some great contribution to society I have yet to make, that's for sure. And there's no "grand plan" some mythical deity still has for me, either.

 

[Nikitatos]

I'm here because satanic forces feast on misery. They won't let you succeed. They won't let you die. They give you just enough to keep you alive and in pain.

If life gets to the point of CTB, they find a way to extend your life. If you're life starts going in a very positive direction, they'll take your money, crush your health, and destroy your friends.

There's some evil, evil people in the world. Unfortunately, they really enjoy beating the crap out of me. They want me sick, poor, and disabled. I pray every day for God to remove them from my life......to no avail.

 

[TinyGuy]

I feel like I am not ready yet and I kinda feel guilty that I will make some people sad

 

[SoulWhisperer]

Still here cuz no secured method as of now. Once I get a way out everything will roll, and I'll see how it will go.

 

[yariousvamp]

The only reason why I'm still here is because guns are illegal, and I'm quite scared of failing and ending up disabled, my previous attempted failed but they weren't too violent.

And I'm planning my next attempt, but I simply can't because my grandmother lives with me and I don't want to be the reason she gets a heart attack or dies if she sees me bleeding, I'm waiting until she visits her son or something, and then maybe I'll attempt again.

 

[QteStimBnnuy]

It's just sorta one of those things that allow you to take a break from things or other friend groups to just see how other people are doing that may feel the same way as you do. I like information I can get here, share, people to observe or just interact with. I end up fixating on the site for a week until I drop it for a year. Basically has been my journey with this so far

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Cut ass fentanyl and high tolerance, that's the real real. I'd be long gone.

 

[27ClubSoon]

I don't want to spread my grief to the people that still care for me

 

[Coffeandamug]

I don't really know... I try to answer that question but I can't find a good answer.

 

[SilentSuicidal]

I really don't know, and I hate it

 

[willitpass]

Because all my previous attempts failed. And the PTSD from surviving them paralyzed me from CTB for years. I finally feel truly ready to attempt again, and I feel confident that this will be the end for me.

 

[Hollowman]

My mom's still alive.

 

[sadidiot0328]

My mom and my pets mostly. Ever since I learned cats and dogs grieve and become depressed when their owner passes I couldnt do it. My mom also told me I was the only family she really had (my dads family took my dads side in the divorce and my moms side treats her poorly). She also struggles with mental health and has told me she'd have no reason to live if I was gone. I couldnt do that to her. Especially not after what she told me and what she had been through. I dont want her to suffer another heartbreak or loss because of my actions.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Mostly just by choice right now, I don't wish to leave yet. If I did wish to leave, I do imagine my cat and my mom would be two large motivators in staying.

She also struggles with mental health and has told me she'd have no reason to live if I was gone. I couldnt do that to her.

This is so similar to my situation. My mom has told me that she'd have nothing to live for if I was gone, and I also can't handle my cat grieving me.

 

[xXZombieSoulXxx]

As the title suggest why? Sorry if the question sounds really rude.

For me, it's the same thing again and again. I'm just too scared to do it right now, nor am I fully committed to doing so. For now, I'm just trying whatever the fuck I can do to improve anything. My hygiene certainly got better, and I actually do make an effort to take care of myself just out of habit from forcing myself to do it, but aside from that, nothing socially or anything that I can be truly happy off.

I don't know
I want to find a place were i could find peace and happiness. I have been in a lot of places. But as time goes by I am starting to think that no matter what part of the world I go, I will always be lonely. I don't know where to go anymore. I think I just maybe shouldn't be anywhere.

 

[anonymous101101]

I don't want to hurt my dad. He means so much to me and he already blames himself for my brother's suicide.

I've also been in several situations where I should have died and didn't. I'm afraid it's a possibility that I'm trapped in my own life.

 

[divinemistress36]

Scared of becoming a vegetable from a failed suicide attempt

 

[MrHastatti]

That tiny hope that somehow things will get better. Its pretty illogical and I realize that yet it still somehow stops me

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Honestly I don't really know. I guess I'm just waiting for a better opportunity and a place where I can do it without someone I know finding me

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

That tiny hope that somehow things will get better. Its pretty illogical and I realize that yet it still somehow stops me

I have that same hope too

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

My primary reason is my partner. We've been together for over 10 years. A couple years ago his mother died. She was his last family member. I don't want to leave him stranded and alone.

 

[cursedbynature64]

I still have a little bit of hope left in me. And I wanna see through a few more events before I make my decision on whether to ctb.

 

[hopscotch]

because im a coward

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

making sure i'll die and never recover - i don't want to waste my only chance at leaving to end up worse.

 

[skylight7]

As the title suggest why? Sorry if the question sounds really rude.

For me, it's the same thing again and again. I'm just too scared to do it right now, nor am I fully committed to doing so. For now, I'm just trying whatever the fuck I can do to improve anything. My hygiene certainly got better, and I actually do make an effort to take care of myself just out of habit from forcing myself to do it, but aside from that, nothing socially or anything that I can be truly happy off.

I don't have access to SN, which is what seems to be one of the best methods in terms of having a relatively peaceful exit. I'm in the US, and it doesn't seem possible to obtain out here. Also, I don't have access to or own a fire arm. So that is out of the question. Other options are jumping but I don't like heights or how public it is. Lastly, there is hanging, which seems what I might settle upon should things not get better for me. I need to learn more about the hanging method first though.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Waiting for my Dad to go first but I suspect fear of failing attempt and fear of an attempt itself may well hold me back when the time comes.

 

[Olek Messier 87]

Hampered by cowardice and hope; torn between the ups and downs, as simple as that, but I've gotten almost completely rid of it now.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Hope that there will be justice for the crimes committed against me. Short of that I wouldn't be.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really wish I wasn't, I should have ceased existing a while ago but really I never should have suffered at all, truly wish I could erase my existence, I wish eternal nothingness could bring me peace from the torment of existing but sadly I suffer instead, if it's up to me I never would have chose to be burdened with this existence, it's so painful how I cannot just choose to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep, to me existence just feels like a terrible mistake.