Venting Why do we decide to CTB. What is your opinion?

[GettingOut]

I've just had an interesting experience that made me think about the reason why some choose to ctb. I was speaking to Person A who was already very emotional about a situation, and she insisted she needs a break. Person B walked by and started bickering with person A. I could see the desperation on Person A's face, and she literally ran away from the situation to escape it. I felt compelled to support Person A emotionally because I don't want her to feel completely hopeless or worthless, despite me having an empty tank.

One of the main reasons why I want to ctb is that there is no emotional support for me. Even though Person A's problems aren't as serious (in my eyes and from the circumstances I know) I didn't want her to feel the pain of being ripped to pieces from the inside and having that ever-present vacuum/void that seemingly cannot be filled once it starts growing.

Do we give more of ourselves that what we should, but are unable to stop giving to make others feel better than we feel? Which makes us feel worse because we wish we had just a single person that would be willing to support us like we feel compelled to emotionally support others?

This also applies to feeling rejected. I'm hypersensitive to rejection and do not want anyone else (possibly even enemies) to feel the suffering that blunt nail being driven through your torso when someone turns you down. You are willing to do almost anything (immorality included) just to be accepted, feel a touch that appreciates what you have done.

Do some people choose ctb because their gas tanks are in a huge deficit? Do others frown upon people who choose to ctb because they are incapable of giving more of what they don't have? Which is completely logical btw. Is this why suicidal people need to go to therapy so that they can learn to think logically and stop giving when they cannot give anymore?

I know there are far more factors at play. I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts. This might just help me make sense of why I'm making my final preparations to ctb, or help me to give life/reason one more chance. Love to you all

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

When ones quality of life degrades to a point where it does not justify living any further

 

[GettingOut]

When ones quality of life degrades to a point where it does not justify living any further

True, when your circumstances are beyond recovery is another important factor!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's an interesting idea and yeah- I could see how that could push someone to a point where they wanted out. I imagine most truly empathetic people struggle enormously in this world. Even if real life people aren't confiding in them, the world has plenty of horrors to make them feel overwhelmed.

I'm certain there are people here like that. You hear it in some posts- they're just exhausted from giving so much of themselves to others when they don't have that same support themselves. Plus- ultimately- how can we be what we're not? If we do care- how do we become cold hearted and still feel comfortable with ourselves? I suppose people can try and 'take a break' type thing but I imagine they feel guilty doing that- plus- people tend to over-use compassionate ears and can either get huffy or overly worried when they need a break. Yes- I definitely think it can be a reason why people want to CTB.

Personally, I lie sonewhere in the middle. I'm selfish enough to have lost contact with most people and it's my own failed needs that push me to want to CTB. That said though, one friend in particular rants to me a lot. In all honesty- I'm finding it harder to cope with but I'd feel guilty for just shutting them out. I try not to rant in return now in the hopes we'll just both stop because honestly- neither of us really helps the other now- we just tend to come out with the platitudes we likely despise ourselves.

 

[The anhedonic one]

People are my main reason for CTB.
I'm sick of being betrayed, lied to and abused.
There seems to be a strange paradox in life where the nicer you are, the more people treat you like dirt.
So tired of this human race.
Oh I am also bipolar 1, clinically depressed, and have suffered severe child abuse and am going through an existential crisis.
Lucky me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Why do people decide to CTB? That's a very individual question. In my opinion there are many reasons and generally said CTB is becoming an option when one doesn't see any other options for going on with this life any more. The decision does not come from one moment to the other because there is always a long process going on in which thoughts about CTB mature.

 

[Nights]

We decide to ctb? in general, suffering, as humans we are designed to try to stop our pain, the more the pain is severe, the more we will take more measures to stop the pain, we don't want death, most of us loves life, but what is want is to stop our pain, so we ctb

 

[NoLightRemains]

When there are enough permanent factors causing suffering in someone's life that they are able to overcome the body's survival instincts to secure their death.

 

[GettingOut]

If we do care- how do we become cold hearted and still feel comfortable with ourselves?

You summarised my inner conflict in one sentence! Your post is very insightful

I'm sick of being betrayed, lied to and abused.
There seems to be a strange paradox in life where the nicer you are, the more people treat you like dirt.

This is so true! Humans are unfortunately the cruellest creatures on the planet. The only thing is sometimes, we are unintentionally cruel or handle a situation in the worst possible way. If only life came with a refresh or undo button

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think that wanting suicide is perfectly logical in a world where there's unlimited potential to suffer and where we are just destined to cease existing anyway, I don't understand how existing is supposedly appealing or see any point to it all, existing is dreadful and futile, we are only waiting around to die. And suicide is the way for one to take control over their inevitable fate and prevent all unnecessary suffering, all that existing leads to is being tortured by old age after all which is something which disturbs me. I think that suicide is the best way to die anyway as we are leaving on our own terms.

And therapy is a scam, wanting to die isn't an "illness", suicidal people just have awareness that existence isn't worth enduring and see existence for what it truly is.

 

[SVEN]

Because my life is weary, empty, burdensome and I am so very tired. But, I have a partner to care for and a small, old dog who loves me and also relies on me to keep plodding along.