Why do some people always say “someone cares” as a reason to not ctb

[ghost-shock]

Some people actually have no one in their lives. I don't understand why that is one of the first things they say when they want to stop someone from having ctb ideation. It seems like a generic throw away comment that makes them feel like they have done something good and "saved" someone from ctb-ing. Without actually knowing anything about the persons life they are saying it to.

 

[mythofsisyphus]

I agree it shouldn't be said without knowing the context of people's lives - the tragic truth is that there are some people who don't have anyone that cares about them in their lives.

But, I'd say this is probably somewhat rare - I imagine most people have at least someone in their lives that does care about them, and who would be hurt by their loss. Again, not denying this isn't the case for everyone.

It does sound very much like a platitude, but I think as with most platitudes … they're often well intentioned, and there is usually some shred of truth in them. Mental illness can warp our perception of things, make us believe people don't care and they'd be better off without us. This usually isn't the case, and although just being told 'people care' doesn't fix things, it doesn't mean it's not true either, and I think there is probably something in it to think about.

 

[ctb2soble]

It's an empty platitude to keep you alive so that their would-be survivors guilt is assauged.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I think it's because the pro lifer is projecting. When somebody mentions that they're suicidal, the pro lifer tries to visualise the situation from the perspective of their loved one killing themselves and then they get uncomfortable because they don't want to go through the pain from that. Also, the thing about humans is that they assume everybody is exactly like them

 

[Zanmato]

I don't know if they realize that this makes you feel more guilty (as if we don't know that someone would suffer lol)
And yes, some people literally have no one in their lifes, so I don't see the point to say this to everyone, without knowing the real situation of a person.
They just repeat same old stuff over and over, maybe without even thinking.

 

[Emeralds]

It's because most people do have at least one person who cares about them and would miss them. Sometimes people don't always realize this when they are depressed. People are more likely to go through with it if they think that no one cares about them or if they think that they are a burden. So they try to remind them that there are people who care about them which is true for most people. Also they are really telling them that they need to tell people in their life about their problems and ask for their help and support because a stranger who doesn't know you can't really do much to help someone especially with more complex problems.

 

[pariah80]

This is one of the reasons why I haven't told anyone. I don't want to talk about it with anyone, and I don't want to hear useless, nonsensical platitudes like this. I intend to go through with it and want as little interference as possible. Personally, I don't see the reason to tell anyone that I'm going to ctb.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just hollow, empty words to me, personally I just have no interest in suffering in this existence and would never want to exist no matter what is said, the thought of being trapped in this existence until old age is horrific to me.

 

[lilyofthevalley404]

It's the case with most generic ctb statements said in shock to help alleviate the uncomfortable feeling that they don't know how to handle

 

[deadzombie6]

You're right not everyone has people who care for them but again what can they really do apart from telling empty meaningless words

 

[hereornot]

In my case, a few people (very few) would be sad, and not for long.

But my family, given the kind of people who have revealed themselves, will even like it. They are part of the reason I am on this site.

In general, in a short time, no one will even remember that I existed.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Because they are stupid.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Because they have people who care about them, for most people they can't comprehend a person being completely alone

 

[SA1994EC]

As said, there are some people who have no one who cares about them. So, this generic statement without the specific fact checks is just not only meaningless but also shows those who say it to you actually do not care about you. That would be more hurtful to me.
Also, when they say that statement, do they mean if you CTB, some people will get hurt? If that is what they mean, it is not about you or your suffering, not to mention trying to ease your pain, but about other people's feeling.
They have no idea what we are going through. Only whose who have the same pain understand our pain. That is why so many of us gather in this forum and it is critical to keep the forum alive.

 

[divinemistress36]

People assume those who kill themselves its cause they think nobody cares about them

 

[permanently tired]

It's so fucking stupid and this is the shit my dad says to me. Stop telling me you love me. Idgaf and then he says would u rather be born in a family that hates you? You're lucky we love you. Like ughhhh, his existence makes me want to fucking die. He's so slow in the head I cannot tolerate conversing with him. I did try to like him, but he is insufferable.

He just doesn't get it. I'd rather not exist or for my immediate family to all kick the bucket and leave me tf alone. I'm not suicidal bc I feel unloved. I don't care abt that shit. Maybe I would've when I was 10, but I'm not 10.

 

[Seiba]

It's true that some people have no one that cares but I'd say even in the case where people care it's not all that meaningful. We ultimately bear our conscious experience alone. I had it said to me from a coworker, but this person doesn't really speak to me five minutes a day. This person cares for example on some level due to giving me rides home here and there but our lives are largely separate.

I think the intention is that they want you to perceive you have value with other human beings, that you're not valueless and not completely alone. It's rather empty but I understand the sentiment.

For random internet commenters who use it as an argument, which I'm assuming your post is aimed towards. I would say they generally project from their own experiences or what they expect temporary suicidal feelings to be.
Most people don't understand wanting to die for years, it's pictured to be something you thought of in one weekend and haven't looked at any alternatives due to emotional pain or desperation.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah it's just a meaningless, hollow platitude (especially when mainstream society, stranger nobodies/normies, and general acquaintances who doesn't know the person well nor are close to them) that people spew to project their own morality and worldview onto others. In a sense, yes I feel like it's a guilt trip veiled as a statement of 'hope' just to try to make someone feel loved or cared for even though it does nothing tangible nor meaningful to said person's life (it won't magically fix their problems, it won't do anything that hasn't or isn't there before, etc.).

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Because, the focus is on trying to sound and look nice, not on trying to actually provide you with any actual thoughtful and caring words. Of course, some people just don't know how to respond to these types of situations so they just end up relying on what they often hear others say in this scenario (though I feel like if you don't know what to say then just don't say anything at all or admit to the fact that you don't know how to respond to it). Even then, a lot of people who say stuff like this mostly just care about stroking their own ego more than anything. It's a dumb statement that doesn't take into consideration the fact that it doesn't apply to a lot of people and that even in the case in which someone does have others who care about them, in a lot of cases, part of why they want to ctb is because they think that their death will ultimately benefit their loved ones.

It doesn't help that this type of behaviour (saying empty platitudes and spamming hotline numbers instead of actually trying to at least have a meaningful conversation) is continually reinforced by others. Just look at how quick people are to like comments doing this type of shit, with some going as far as to praise these people for doing basically nothing. It doesn't help that it is expected that you, as the suicidal individual, must respond gratefully to the "wisdom" they have just bestowed onto you. You aren't allowed to express your annoyance with this without others trying to immediately defend the other person and shame you.