What reasons do people have for living? I don't understand it. Personally, I always saw any and all suffering that happened to me as a bad thing and, additionally, something that overwhelms me so much to where I'd rather be dead than to live. What makes people want to live even though they suffer? Am I just weak willed overall or is there a different underlying reason for this phenomenon?
I think it's mostly that some people have less suffering and more happiness than others. I don't think you're necessarily weak, it could be possible that other people suffer less than you and that your suffering accumulates because you haven't handled it emotionally.
For me it's the desire to fulfill my late suicide partner's wishes of continuing to live on. And also because I've found passionate work because of him. My irl told me I had to die naturally to get a favor from God and wish my friend into heaven, this possibility startles me enough to half-heartedly agree to live "just in case" God exists even though I don't believe in God. A special connection with a now dead person is keeping me alive, isn't that funny?
I wasn't even happy when I was younger either. I suffered from the same things then that I do now with the exception of bullying. I never made a single friend then and I never made a single friend now. I didn't really have much interests then and I don't now
But how? I don't get it. The only real differences I have from them is that I never made a single friend throughout my entire life (which includes childhood), I don't really have a supportive family (I feel like I got emotionally neglected according to western standards anyway), I don't really have any interests or things I can enjoy and I don't have any ambitions for life or work. Would I be like them and experience more joy than suffering if I were to have the things they did?
Hey I experienced similar things to you, unsupportive parents and childhood bullying. And then the depression from that and loneliness made me not be able to spend time finding interests.
I promise those interests exist though, they just have to be found. I thought of myself as the most generic and bland person ever, but then when I actually started bridging out--it's never too late, I was already of age when I started figuring myself out--I found that I had a lot of interests actually, like 4 subjects in university and a lot outside of education too.
Some can even become passionate life goals, like perhaps an interest in mental health makes you want to become an actual good therapist (after dealing with so many shitty ones) for example.
I think it's easier to experience joy when born lucky, but you don't have to be born lucky to experience joy.
I got neither love nor a feeling of obligation to others. That probably contributes to me being suicidal
Yeah, I guess me having the lack of human connection contributes to me being suicidal. That said, I don't really want any offspring either. They'll make my life a bigger living hell than what it already is
I'd agree with that, but ideally you want to be at the point where if you live, you want to live for your own reasons and not because of guilt towards others in your life. Think of suicidal ideation as a symptom rather than the illness though, try to think of the lack of happiness as the thing you're trying to cure.
I think I would be content with my life if:
a) I had enough social skills to manipulate my way to the top of the workplace leaderboard or to simply make a friend
b) I had a supportive family who helped me instead of hindered me
c) I didn't have to work my entire life as a wage slave and could afford things with easier effort
d) I didn't have anhedonia and instead had interests which I could rely on for fun or comfort
e) My neurotype changed such that I don't react extremely to even the most minute of suffering
f) I had meaning for why I gotta live
g) I had a reason why living is better than death (I've yet to find a reason for that)
a) Have you ever tried practicing online? Like randomly talking in live chats, then going to voice chats, then transferring to in person? That worked for me.
b) That's my situation. Hate to say this, but this is something you'll just have to accept and move on from. I just treat my family like how I would treat a coworker now, passively and with minimal interaction. I focus my life on other things.
c) I don't have a job so idk what to say about this
d) See above quote...!
e) May I ask what disorder you're suffering from?
f) I think this comes from just solving the other bullet points haha, the reason writes itself.
g) Living is suffering and death is uncertainty, pick your poison. But then some people have the loophole where living is tolerable or even happy, and then they don't have to face the uncertainty. And I mean, happiness seems much better than uncertainty.
I wonder what's keeping you here? Since your so misrabel. 
