Why do people want/need intimacy?

[sserafim]

.

 

[Pluto]

 

[sserafim]

View attachment 134908

I wouldn't do that with anyone lol. Invasion of personal space

 

[Pluto]

There's a difference between having repressed/buried desires for intimacy and genuinely lacking desire for intimacy. The main symptom of the former is volcanic eruptions of repressed energy.

 

[sserafim]

There's a difference between having repressed/buried desires for intimacy and genuinely lacking desire for intimacy. The main symptom of the former is volcanic eruptions of repressed energy.

That's to satisfy my curiosity about s*x. I don't want intimacy. I just want to try s*x to know what it's like lol

 

[Malaria]

Because we're a social animal. Unlike bears, who can survive on their own, humans can't survive by themselves. Back in the hunter-gatherer days, if a human was separated from their tribe, that was guaranteed death. The ability to form bonds and connections is an evolved trait that kept our ancestors alive.

 

[1MiserableGuy]

That's to satisfy my curiosity about s*x. I don't want intimacy. I just want to try s*x to know what it's like lol

 

[Pluto]

I wouldn't do that with anyone lol. Invasion of personal space

 

[WhenTheyCry]

Another person's warmth feels good. Pets are also an option, back when I still had a dog they were comforting to have around. It makes you feel safe. If humans gross you out, have you also tried pets?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess so that we feel like we aren't just completely alone in life. It's nice to think someone could actually care about you that much. Intimacy is an expression of love. It's probably nice not to feel utterly repulsive too that someone would want to be that close.

 

[xinino]

Because intimacy involves more hormones than lust, which makes it more pleasurable.

 

[sserafim]

Another person's warmth feels good. Pets are also an option, back when I still had a dog they were comforting to have around. It makes you feel safe. If humans gross you out, have you also tried pets?

I have a dog

Wdym

 

[actualfemcel]

Because it makes us normal. Sex keeps people sane.
The first and last time I experienced the touch and warmth of another human being was in 2017. We met at a hurricane shelter. He was so strong, stoic and kind. I liked the physical affection he showed me, his caresses, holding his hand, his tender kisses, even if I flinched sometimes. He helped me return home. But he refused to have sex with me because he was repulsed by me lacking any sexual experience whatsoever. I don't blame him but I wish I could have been good enough for him to take my virginity too. It is a plague on me.

 

[1MiserableGuy]

Wdym

You do realize that sex requires some level of intimacy to perform, don't you? Even if you pay a prostitute for as completely detached experience as you can get, you now know each other in a way you don't with anyone else. It's close quarters, connecting, and if you think about it for too long it's also kinda gross.

 

[sserafim]

You do realize that sex requires some level of intimacy to perform, don't you? Even if you pay a prostitute for as completely detached experience as you can get, you now know each other in a way you don't with anyone else. It's close quarters, connecting, and if you think about it for too long it's also kinda gross.

Guess I'm staying a virgin then lol

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It feels good, I assume.

 

[MBG]

.

Because, as God said at the beginning of the world (and in the beginning of the book of Genesis), "it is not good that man is alone. I shall make for him a suitable helpmate."

Or as Golden Era Hollywood said, "Woman needs man and man must have his mate, that no one can deny."

 

[sserafim]

It feels good, I assume.

What? Sex?

Because, as God said at the beginning of the world (and in the beginning of the book of Genesis), "it is not good that man is alone. I shall make for him a suitable helpmate."

Or as Golden Era Hollywood said, "Woman needs man and man must have his mate, that no one can deny."

I refuse to be a "helpmate". I don't need a man. Fuck that shit

 

[greebo6]

Its just one of those basic human needs/wants and it can feel good with the right person ,releasing some happy chemicals into the brain and relieving stress .

 

[xinino]

You do realize that sex requires some level of intimacy to perform, don't you? Even if you pay a prostitute for as completely detached experience as you can get, you now know each other in a way you don't with anyone else. It's close quarters, connecting, and if you think about it for too long it's also kinda gross.

I disagree. I believe early humans were driven only by primal force sex, with love devoloped later, sure we can get attached to people after sex 'but that is manageable". Intimacy is not initially needed to perform sex "your body will react according to his instinct"

 

[LXXCH]

people have sex because of it being a biological drive and a need for physical/emotional to be released. It's also fun, it feels good, and allows for a connection with another human being.

 

[1MiserableGuy]

I disagree. I believe early humans were driven only by primal force sex, with love devoloped later, sure we can get attached to people after sex 'but that is manageable". Intimacy is not initially needed to perform sex "your body will react according to his instinct"

One of the problems this take poses is that it assumes that love is an emotional state of romance, rather than what it actually is: voluntary selfless actions for other people. There are people who have been married for years, which is a closely intimate setting, who don't love each other at all. And you can love a complete stranger you passed by on the road. The connection that happens at sex isn't love, it's private knowledge.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

What? Sex?

Sex, sure. But there could be other things about parenting itself that could be inherently satisfying. I wouldn't know though. When I was visiting in Taiwan, my cousin who's 12 was so excited to have me around. It was a joy to share in playing Pokémon games with him so if that's what having a kid is like for even a little bit it would be worth it to me.

I refuse to be a "helpmate". I don't need a man. Fuck that shit

Hope you remember this next time you start pining for your crush again.

 

[HereTomorrow]

Intimacy allows us to be vulnerable with someone else. It allows us to let go of any social or mental barriers and let us place our trust amongst each other. The feeling of being touched or heard out in a way that makes us feel "safe" may improve mental health.

For a less cryptic and/or layman's term, it feels nice. And I think that's what matters most.

 

[Guy Smiley]

Because it makes us normal. Sex keeps people sane.
The first and last time I experienced the touch and warmth of another human being was in 2017. We met at a hurricane shelter. He was so strong, stoic and kind. I liked the physical affection he showed me, his caresses, holding his hand, his tender kisses, even if I flinched sometimes. He helped me return home. But he refused to have sex with me because he was repulsed by me lacking any sexual experience whatsoever. I don't blame him but I wish I could have been good enough for him to take my virginity too. It is a plague on me.

He just might be the only guy on Earth who is repulsed by a woman being a virgin. For most guys, it's a plus if anything. So, when it comes to losing your virginity, you really shouldn't worry about being a virgin. The chances of you meeting another guy who is also repulsed by that would be something akin to being struck by lightning twice.

 

[sserafim]

Because it makes us normal. Sex keeps people sane.
The first and last time I experienced the touch and warmth of another human being was in 2017. We met at a hurricane shelter. He was so strong, stoic and kind. I liked the physical affection he showed me, his caresses, holding his hand, his tender kisses, even if I flinched sometimes. He helped me return home. But he refused to have sex with me because he was repulsed by me lacking any sexual experience whatsoever. I don't blame him but I wish I could have been good enough for him to take my virginity too. It is a plague on me.

Well, I've never been normal, nor do I want to

 

[4am]

You do realize that sex requires some level of intimacy to perform, don't you? Even if you pay a prostitute for as completely detached experience as you can get, you now know each other in a way you don't with anyone else. It's close quarters, connecting, and if you think about it for too long it's also kinda gross.

counter point: glory holes

 

[1MiserableGuy]

counter point: glory holes

That's hardly a counterpoint. If anything, it's just a point, because an invention like that tried to disrupt that natural processes of intimacy during a sexual encounter.

 

[casual_existence]

Well there's no clear answer to this unfortunately. Even in biology it's hard to pin down an answer.
There's the game theory perspective.
There's the statistics perspective.
There's evolutionary biology.
There's anthropology.

I'd say that one thing that pops up fairly often is that we are social animals.
There's different routes that it can take depending on the relation.
Because we can never be sure that someone will be there for us we use social signals to "pinky promise" that we'll totally be there in the morning.

Anyway. It feels good.

 

[passivethought121]

Logical answer: evolution drives us to.

But if I were to ramble about theories and feelings, I feel like it's because it's a distraction from the constant suffering in life. I fantasize about relationships with mentally randomly generated people, as a distraction/coping mechanism. In reality, I have never felt nor received attraction for a person, and I really don't care. Romance conflicts with my plans.

I feel that in a universe where I didn't want to leave; or had the urge to endure and live and seize life amid suffering until old age, I would be much more upset about being eternally single. For I would crave intimacy to cope.