Venting Why do people insist there's hope?

[737492]

It's starting to frustrate me.

My therapist tells me I shouldnt kill myself, that I should instead be making a plan of what I wanna do with my life. She says I can't be sure I'll be unhappy forever.

I have been unhappy my entire life. I was sexually abused for the first time before I even knew how to read, for fuck's sake. I spent all those years until now, at 20 years old, being abused and alone and wanting to die. The few happy moments I've had are nothing.

Hearing someone tell me that there's a chance this will all change makes me want to laugh. 20 years of this and suddenly things will be happy? Yeah right, totally plausible. Even if the chance is there, there's an even bigger chance of things getting worse or staying the same. Why risk it?

 

[Stan]

I always smirk at the word hope. Reminds me of the myth about Pandora and the box. She opens it and a multitude of ailments fly out with the last thing being hope. They never mention the fact that hope can't cure the masses of ailments that preceded it.

 

[TowerUpright]

I hear you. It's just there are so many people out there with delusional happiness. People who insist putting a positive spin on things, because otherwise, they'd be viewed as a negative person. And plenty of people who plainly ignore the ugliness present in their life, community, county, world,etc.i know of people in therapy whose therapists "simply can't work with (them)", because they're "too negative" and not willing to change.

And those people you speak of can't read the future. As you put it, they don't know if you'll be happier, sadde, or the same. Seems to me, it's a 66 percent chance of being miserable.

I'm sorry for all you've been through: I hate seeing others in pain. Wish I could do more for you.

However you choose to live the rest of your life, hope you find peace.

 

[lofistos345]

Society lives in a continuous state of delusion of wanting to live for a better future. There is no future. There is no hope. This world is terrible. This world is sick.

 

[TAW122]

I'd guess that most people are indoctrinated into believing that things do get better and for most people, perhaps that rings true and then they project their experiences onto others who don't share the same experience. When the others who don't share the same experiences as they do, they isolate, ridicule, shame, and bully those people into submission and compliance. Society has many ways to do so, the media and peers being a strong driving force, then institutions such as churches, schools, mental health groups, etc. beat it in to the average person.

 

[HellLife2]

Severe trauma is horrible. But there is help. Some kind of hope for the future. Getting out of that environment and seeking justice will help. I will repeat that you need to get out that environment for things to get better.

Years of therapy may not be enough. But the future can be brighter than the dark past. Please try your hardest to create that future. You can still have a much better life than the traumas of your past.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I hate it when this is the main thing people go to as there refusal to understand your desire to exit life , its either very narrow minded and unempathetic, as they fail to understand another persons emotional inner world. Or they are just plain indenial-and refuse to actually admit and acknowledge that maybe just maybe for some people there is no hope. And actually is SOME cases for some people life isnt actually worth living. Trouble is I often then get the whole list of other people they know that have been through worse than I have, or have some they know that is ill/ dying etc & if im an idiot and dont watch the news and am not aware that people have endured far far far worse woes than me (many of whom still have hope and do thrive and do lead a happy life), of course I am fully aware of all of this-but that knowledge does not automatically imbue me with a desire to live- would be kind of sick and sad in itself if i had to constantly compare to the pain of others to give myself hope, in fact all it does is make me feel guilty-as of course I am lucky compared to some-and the guilt enhances my pitifully low self esteem-adding to feeling of my life being totally worthless.

 

[Luchs]

It's starting to frustrate me.

My therapist tells me I shouldnt kill myself, that I should instead be making a plan of what I wanna do with my life. She says I can't be sure I'll be unhappy forever.

I have been unhappy my entire life. I was sexually abused for the first time before I even knew how to read, for fuck's sake. I spent all those years until now, at 20 years old, being abused and alone and wanting to die. The few happy moments I've had are nothing.

Hearing someone tell me that there's a chance this will all change makes me want to laugh. 20 years of this and suddenly things will be happy? Yeah right, totally plausible. Even if the chance is there, there's an even bigger chance of things getting worse or staying the same. Why risk it?

I find hope in other people. My friends and family lead great lives and this gives me a hope that I'll one day be healthy again.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I can't stand when people tell me there is hope. I suffer from a severe painful condition to which there is no cure. So people really have to right to tell me there is hope.

 

[Chronicillness]

Advancing technology = better treatments = hope to stay around.

 

[ProlongedSentence]

It's starting to frustrate me.

My therapist tells me I shouldnt kill myself, that I should instead be making a plan of what I wanna do with my life. She says I can't be sure I'll be unhappy forever.

I have been unhappy my entire life. I was sexually abused for the first time before I even knew how to read, for fuck's sake. I spent all those years until now, at 20 years old, being abused and alone and wanting to die. The few happy moments I've had are nothing.

Hearing someone tell me that there's a chance this will all change makes me want to laugh. 20 years of this and suddenly things will be happy? Yeah right, totally plausible. Even if the chance is there, there's an even bigger chance of things getting worse or staying the same. Why risk it?

I wanted to send a hug. But I dislike that hug emoticon. It has a creepy smile.

*hugs*

Yeah. It does invalidate - when people seem to dismiss our scars that won't go away.

Maybe they just don't know what to say and wish that they could somehow help stop our pain.

 

[cant cry]

That's interesting. I think of depression as being a state of hopelessness so I hold on to hope to keep from spiraling down further and further. But, as I've discovered, it's possible to feel very hopeful and suicidal at the same time.

 

[Fadinglife]

It's starting to frustrate me.

My therapist tells me I shouldnt kill myself, that I should instead be making a plan of what I wanna do with my life. She says I can't be sure I'll be unhappy forever.

I have been unhappy my entire life. I was sexually abused for the first time before I even knew how to read, for fuck's sake. I spent all those years until now, at 20 years old, being abused and alone and wanting to die. The few happy moments I've had are nothing.

Hearing someone tell me that there's a chance this will all change makes me want to laugh. 20 years of this and suddenly things will be happy? Yeah right, totally plausible. Even if the chance is there, there's an even bigger chance of things getting worse or staying the same. Why risk it?

I'd take it as them trivializing my pain, it is dismissive and condescending also an arrogance on their part to think they know me better than myself. I'd think they have limited ability to imagine and capacity to empathize non existent. That are too emotionally invested in propelling their just world fallacy and hence blind to process the level of pain. That they live in their happiness bubble and are scared to even acknowledge the existence of suffering because it makes them uncomfortable hence they try to push down the toxic positivity down my throat and even insinuating that all my problems are self inflicted and i am not taking responsibility which both insulting and stigmatizes the illness creating further alienation, it gives me a clear indication that they incapable of understanding, to avoided and we can't get along, they are of the view that are in control of things which is not true, there is certain kind of nasty self centeredness in their belief system/thinking pattern and they believe in propelling the harmful fallacy of popular culture and narratives like responsibility.
They are not worth my time and frankly intellectually inferior with lack of self awareness. They are the diseased ones who wants us to fit in because we are different and they are incapable of grasping it. They fear what they don't know yet claim to know everything. Which is such a tainted view and only brings more conflicts, it's okay to not know. Above all they are incompetent in their jobs and not a good fit for me.
Somehow, they are blind to unfairness, injustice and non inclusiveness in society. They believe life is fair which isn't true. Not to forget broken moral system or inferior morals. They care more about their job than ever pondering on the questions like suicide. They are weak and lack the spine for foul play, turn their eyes shut when something bad happens and only able catch it surface level if they can, never reaching the depth or lack the imagination to fanthom it. They are self delusional to not see the flaws in mental health system and absolutely incapable of original thinking, free mind, they tow the line which is okay if they don't expect us to do the same. Their mind is slave to the system and certainity.

 

[lightsoutnow]

Severe trauma is horrible. But there is help. Some kind of hope for the future. Getting out of that environment and seeking justice will help. I will repeat that you need to get out that environment for things to get better.

Years of therapy may not be enough. But the future can be brighter than the dark past. Please try your hardest to create that future. You can still have a much better life than the traumas of your past.

I got out of an abusive environment, sought justice and treatment but I never got better. I've tried, exhausted energy and resources for that "better future" only to have minimal recompense.

and yet my friend tells me that there's hope that things will get better so i shouldn't give up.

then soon they all sing the same tune of "don't give up because i will be so hurt if you're gone" and that's when i knew that it's not for me, it's for themselves.

which is fine, i mean, people don't want to feel pain, right? so i, too, will make the choice to not be in pain.

 

[Read123456788]

Honestly I think it's either lack of ignorance or fuel to feed their ego that they "saved" you. I don't talk to anyone about what I'm thinking or my plans for this exact reason. I've had a friend who said she was considering suicide did I try to stop her ? Not so much I just listened to what she had to say. She will make her mind up whichever way and who am I to keep her somewhere she doesn't want to be just for our own personal wants ?!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

That's why life is so paradoxical. Hope is a delusion which it is necessary to have in order to live.
If you strip away all life's delusions you will be left with no hope.
As the old saying goes: I'd rather be happy than right, any day of the week.
Is wisdom knowing the truth or knowing how to be happy?

 

[JimFord99]

False hope is still considered as hope. Even if it is not.