I do not understand why I am alive and breathing if I am a worthless and useless human being who has nothing to contribute to. I don't understand why there isn't any help but the moment I try to commit suicide I get hospitalized, I have to wait for almost 12 hours and then be sent home without any proper treatment. If I can't get a psychologist or a therapist which believe it or not I am really open to that idea then there is no reason for me to continue existing. I can't stop myself but call myself retarded, an idiot, a dumbass, a loser, a good for nothing, a worthless piece of shit. It's just who I am at this point.
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