Venting Why do i always mistake lust for love

[doireallywannadie]

Ever god damn fucking time, why do i get the need to show my fucking body. Knowing i hate it everything about my body, knowing what will happen if i show them my body, i still end up giving in to their disgusting little fantasies. Why is that the only fucking way i feel loved???? Why am i like this what is wrong with me. Bro i fucking hate myself so much. Im such a fucking whore, its better if i just fucking kill myself. I was my parents innocent little girl just a few years ago. Im so fucking dirty now. Someone like me shouldn't even exist in this fucking world.

Do they just say these sweet things to get in my pants? Do they really mean it? Why dont they fucking mean it?? Am i just my body? Is my whole existence as a human being with a brain, a consciousness and a feeling less than my physical body? I wish i was fucking dead so my parents wont have such a dirty daughter, my brother wont have such a disgusting sister, my friends wont have a fucking slut as a friend.

Why cant i js fucking say no. Two letter fucking word that i cant even say to almost a stranger on the internet. Im so pathetic mann i deserve every single shit coming my way. I should just slit my wrist open instead if living like a fucking whore.

I just wanna feel loved man

 

[Burdenphilic]

I know how you feel, there are so many disgusting people on the internet.
To be quite frank, I never understood love, it never made any sense to me, "romance" to me is just a connection based on mutual interests and give or take, nothing more nothing less.
Regardless, I hope you find peace with yourself, whether you choose to make the final decision or continue being alive, I truly wish the best for you.

 

[absolute failure]

Real

 

[Luke27]

Ever god damn fucking time, why do i get the need to show my fucking body. Knowing i hate it everything about my body, knowing what will happen if i show them my body, i still end up giving in to their disgusting little fantasies. Why is that the only fucking way i feel loved???? Why am i like this what is wrong with me. Bro i fucking hate myself so much. Im such a fucking whore, its better if i just fucking kill myself. I was my parents innocent little girl just a few years ago. Im so fucking dirty now. Someone like me shouldn't even exist in this fucking world.

Do they just say these sweet things to get in my pants? Do they really mean it? Why dont they fucking mean it?? Am i just my body? Is my whole existence as a human being with a brain, a consciousness and a feeling less than my physical body? I wish i was fucking dead so my parents wont have such a dirty daughter, my brother wont have such a disgusting sister, my friends wont have a fucking slut as a friend.

Why cant i js fucking say no. Two letter fucking word that i cant even say to almost a stranger on the internet. Im so pathetic mann i deserve every single shit coming my way. I should just slit my wrist open instead if living like a fucking whore.

I just wanna feel loved man

I can't understand romantic love not being lust

 

[Hvergelmir]

Why is that the only fucking way i feel loved????

Because it's easily accessible.
You can also purchase love. It's easily accessible if you're rich.
You can also inject it with a syringe.

You can either keep doing it, or choose to live without it, until you find real fulfillment.

Do they just say these sweet things to get in my pants?

Many do.

Do they really mean it? Why dont they fucking mean it?

Some are confused, sincerely thinking that they do mean it. Just like you, unable to differentiate lust from love. Others simply don't care.

Am i just my body? Is my whole existence as a human being with a brain, a consciousness and a feeling less than my physical body?

At a brief glance, yes. Getting to know someone takes time, and what goes on inside is not immediately visible.

I wish i was fucking dead so my parents wont have such a dirty daughter, my brother wont have such a disgusting sister, my friends wont have a fucking slut as a friend. [...] I should just slit my wrist open instead if living like a fucking whore.

I don't think the intense anger is warranted. Do you want to kill all women who sleep around? What about men? What about other species?
If you don't want others to judge you in terms of sex, you really ought to not do so yourself.

If you want love, focus on love. Cut the sex obsession. You don't need that excuse to explain your lack of love. Previous relations to sex are irrelevant, to what you do in the future.

 

[doireallywannadie]

I don't think the intense anger is warranted. Do you want to kill all women who sleep around? What about men? What about other species?
If you don't want others to judge you in terms of sex, you really ought to not do so yourself.

If you want love, focus on love. Cut the sex obsession. You don't need that excuse to explain your lack of love. Previous relations to sex are irrelevant, to what you do in the future.

You're right. At the time, I was feeling so much emotions at the same time, I said whatever that I was thinking and feeling.

I would never judge someone else in terms of sex, and ofc I wouldn't want anyone to judge me either. However, what I meant to say was, I had promised myself before that I wouldn't let something like this happen again because I already know the outcome, I already knew what kind of feeling was waiting for me if I did sexual stuff w that person. Despite that, I still proceeded to give in to the other persons persuasion, which left me feeling extremely angry and disappointed w myself. (Which I definitely should've included these things in the thread)

I personally hate having sexual relations with people, but for some reason it's implemented in my brain that that's the only way I'll ever feel love, and the only way to make sure the other person doesn't leave me is by giving my body to them. I mean, I know that's not love at all but all the sexual stuff feels inevitable, like I HAVE to do it or they're gonna leave or smth like that.

It's smth i really need to work on but you actually really helped me realize quite a few things, and that I was being a bit unreasonable. Thanks.