Help Why can't I just do it?

[TheBox]

This post is kind of rant-ish. I apologize in advance.

What is wrong with me. I was so close to finally pulling the trigger in early June but my mind wouldn't let me. I go from being suicidal to wanting to turn my life around, back to being suicidal. I feel unlovable, like a failure, and I can't imagine having a future where I'm actually alive.

I'm not afraid of dying, but hope is a disease. Every time even a single molecule of hope enters my thought stream I can't follow through, even though hours later the feeling returns! I have everything written out, my plan in place, even the gun I'll use, but for some reason I just can't. Does anyone have any tips on how to combat this indecisiveness? Should I just wait until I'm at my lowest point and just do it?

 

[Nightmare]

thats a common problem for someone choosing a one tick method such as a gun
if you would be feeling the emptiness im feeling everyday since a while you wouldnt have that problem...
overdo what you enjoy in life until it becomes not enjoyable anymore then you will find no sense of continuing to live longer..
cant compare myself to you but im just telling you an idea i believe in hoping it would help

 

[Ghassane]

This post is kind of rant-ish. I apologize in advance.

What is wrong with me. I was so close to finally pulling the trigger in early June but my mind wouldn't let me. I go from being suicidal to wanting to turn my life around, back to being suicidal. I feel unlovable, like a failure, and I can't imagine having a future where I'm actually alive.

I'm not afraid of dying, but hope is a disease. Every time even a single molecule of hope enters my thought stream I can't follow through, even though hours later the feeling returns! I have everything written out, my plan in place, even the gun I'll use, but for some reason I just can't. Does anyone have any tips on how to combat this indecisiveness? Should I just wait until I'm at my lowest point and just do it?

Hi, i think i understand, u have hope on something only u know what it is, i was just like that, but when i lost everything even hope it changed now I won't think twice, i think u should follow this hope if it worked then it's for good if not u'll feel desperate then i don't think u'll hesitate, good luck.