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WhiteRaven
Member
- Jan 7, 2025
- 11
I tried to hang myself this morning, but I can only do a partial because I dont have anything high enough. But I tried to lean into it but I couldnt go far enough to pass out or even feel lightheaded. I think im doing everything right I just cant get enough pressure. Im too fucking weak. every day is a trudge through mud, barely being able to keep standing. Every time I think I have the willpower to ctb, I fail. The only real way I have access to is by hanging, but over the summer I was on the top of a building and now every day I wish I had actually jumped. At this point I want to crash my car as fast as I can go. The only thing holding me back is the possibility of being paralyzed but i don't even know if I care anymore. I have so many good things in my life, but I still can't just fucking be okay, I dont even want to be okay, I want to be worse so I go through with it Instead of being a fucking wimp.