Venting why can't I die (venting)

[rustinpeacepolaris]

i'm 19 and have been depressed and heavily suicidal since i was ten years old. I have tried so many methods including but not limited too:
partical hanging, full hanging, ibuprofen OD, tylenol OD, insilin(?) OD, asprin OD, slit throat, slit wrists, and metformin OD to name a few. I tried partical for the first time when i was ten. Started self harming when i was 12. I've been raped and hit and touched and I just can't take it anymore. why hasn't my body given up yet?

 

[aboy1995]

ibuprofen OD,

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been through. I've thought of doing this as well, but I know OTC medications are relatively harmless as far as CTB. Do you know how much you took and what symptoms you had after doing so? I have roughly 20G on hand.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it horrible how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing, it's cruel how we cannot just easily find peace from all the suffering, it sounds so dreadful what you've had to endure, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[Mrpickles]

It's sad seeing it at such a young age. I'm 36 (gross, I know). I wanted to CTB at 19 and didn't think it as a big deal. But now fast forward to where I am, it's kind of heart breaking :/. I wish I could say things got better... I mean, they did, as in I went to college, got the degree, moved up in career, bought the house, got married, had kids, ya know, the stuff society pushes you to do. And yet here I am, still wishing it would just all end. Any time my heart starts to beat funky I get excited that maybe I'm about to have a heart attack (I consume caffeine and nicotine at disgusting levels). But it never happens. I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[rustinpeacepolaris]

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been through. I've thought of doing this as well, but I know OTC medications are relatively harmless as far as CTB. Do you know how much you took and what symptoms you had after doing so? I have roughly 20G on hand.

Im not sure because I was about 13 so like 5 years ago. I remember taking four small bottles and puking for days though

 

[ipmanwc0]

Hey except for hanging these methods don't really kill

 

[rustinpeacepolaris]

Hey except for hanging these methods don't really kill

yeah, i know. did most of the overdoses when i was 12-14 lol