Why are you still here?

[violetdevil]

Why haven't you killed yourself? Just curious.

For me it's fear and because the taste of n is so bad that I'm worried I'll throw up

 

[Seered Doom]

My body just keeps surviving no matter what I do. It's infuriating really. I cuss my body out daily for it. It's like that one meme from the Sonic movie.

"Why aren't you dead yet?"

"I have no idea!"

 

[R_N]

Not pushed into a corner. Yet.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I don´t want to ruin my parents life and I am a coward

 

[prtsn]

im just a coward and a failure

 

[mehdone]

I'm still here for multiple reasons.

Failed attempts being one.
Hope being another big one.
Loved ones being the biggest one. I've been living for others for as long as I can remember. I sure as hell haven't been putting up with this constant suffering for myself.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because I don't have the privilege of accessing a guaranteed and peaceful way to die. Suicide is barely even an option in this hellish anti-suicide society.

 

[HuskyD'hiver]

My loved ones and friends; by ending my life, I would ruin theirs.

 

[R_N]

I love how no one said: "Just to suffer".

 

[winterparty]

Because I don't have the privilege of accessing a guaranteed and peaceful way to die. Suicide is barely even an option in this hellish anti-suicide society.

.

 

[Wishing2di3]

Because I don't have the privilege of accessing a guaranteed and peaceful way to die. Suicide is barely even an option in this hellish anti-suicide society.

Yup!

 

[void kitty]

A part of me thinks just cuz my mom is there, I feel like it would be painful for her. Although I do prefer to die before. If i put out that I'd just need a strong sure somewhat peaceful method that does it ig yeah.

 

[luxsuircides]

Why haven't you killed yourself? Just curious.

For me it's fear and because the taste of n is so bad that I'm worried I'll throw up

i have no clue. it feels like a funny joke going to work and doing things to no avail.

 

[roguetrader]

Probably for most people and myself included, Newton's first law of motion applies. No immediate catalyst for change so people don't change things.

 

[Agon321]

Fear of the unknown. I don't know what comes after death and that worries me a bit. My current life is the only thing I know, so fear is logical. I don't know if there was anything before I was born and I don't know if there will be anything after I die. I have absolutely no fucking idea what to expect. I don't even have a starting point. In a way, I envy people who trust their religion implicitly, or simply their beliefs about the afterlife.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

Because I'm not good at anything which includes sourcing materials to end my life somewhat peacefully. I'm afraid to jump and can't easily purchase a firearm.

 

[squareminus1]

Why haven't you killed yourself? Just curious.

For me it's fear and because the taste of n is so bad that I'm worried I'll throw up

i am a coward, and I am afraid I might fail my method and end up in a psych ward or perminantly disabled (and probably in a psych ward)

 

[アホペンギン]

My incompetence is keeping me here while it is the reason I want to go so much. I'm stuck here.

 

[inanotherlife]

Why haven't you killed yourself? Just curious.

For me it's fear and because the taste of n is so bad that I'm worried I'll throw up

I'm just waiting til the time is right. don't want to ruin holidays and birthdays. 113 more days

 

[0xdobalina]

Because I made the decision to admit what I d done 3 years ago. And probably still have a tiny bit of hope left. But it's fading fast and losing her is still the most painful thing I've ever felt.

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

I unfortunately can't go through with my plan due to my circumstances i.e I am unable to move out in a house with other people because of lack of financial means. Once I can move out, I will cbt but currently I can't. Otherwise I'm determined to kill myself.

 

[peachchildtenshi]

high si , affect parents life, afraid of being vegetable after trying ctb, has not hit a low point again yet,
maybe i just deserve to suffer in this hell after everything I had done..

 

[alivefornow]

Don't want to inflict pain on my family. But everyday I think about putting and end to my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a dead person who hasn't died yet.

 

[voyager]

Good question. It's the same I asked myself in 2018 when waiting on my own for the EMS in serious pain for almost an hour. Suffering again and again for little to no joy. Couldn't come up with an answer. Became extremely tranquil in that moment, the pain subsided, as did my worldly obligations, and really felt ready to go.

Didn't happen, but still don't have an answer on that. Came here with so much momentum in 2019. Then made a wrong call. Shortly thereafter they took my SN in a "welfare" check, which traumatised me for well over a year. Fell back into old habits (drifting/procrastination/escapism) and now I'm trying to get organised again. But have held on for so long now (30y), that I want the moment to be as perfect and certain as can be. Have an idea, but not sure if I can pull it off before winter.

Reasons: My mum, fixing up her house (not getting anywhere), sorting my affairs (neither), and the little things that still produce some joy.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

All I need is a doctor´s help to die.

 

[Trakehner]

Because I fail at everything that I try to do

 

[TapeMachine]

One of my brothers died unexpectedly this past February, right as I was putting the finishing touches on my ctb plans. I mean, I was ready to go too.

But after seeing how utterly devastated my dad was at the funeral, I decided I'd have to live a while longer just so I didn't completely destroy him or my mom by making them lose yet another child.

And I'm still here, trying to make the best of my situation, for now.

 

[Ruma]

I'm waiting for my cat to pass,then I'm getting the hell out of here. She's 10 atm so could have another 4/5 years to go.

 

[Rainy_Cloud]

Same i have a cat.and. bf alltho might be toxic relationship we work.im so tired and by day having less will and energy.doctrors keep dissmisng my issues i have insomia for a while noe and i cant even get meds cuz aperntlly is normal to "sleep" 4h and wake up 10 times lol. I am posing my reasons. Im tired

 

[Chemical Animal]

The only people I have a mutual care with are still alive;
Very little tolerance to pain (which makes me afraid of painful methods);
Fear of surviving an attempt with brain damage and ending up living in a vegetative state, unable to try to CTB again.