Let's see:
I've literally tried to partial hanging about 50-100 times. Yes, literally that many times.
Tried full hanging twice. Failed first because my toes just and just were able to touch the floor and pillows. Second time I just couldn't do it because the place was awful and smelt like shit and was full of shit. Cannot do a third time because I don't have access to a place that's high enough.
Tried shallow water drowning several times. Didn't die. Would have to use a literal bathtube, a big one at that, for it, I guess.
Tried the night-night method several times. Kept that damn thing on my neck for hours, readjusting it many times. Didn't die.
Tried sodium nitrate poisoning. Tasted too salty, so I stopped before anything happened.
Tried yew poisoning. Worked and might have died. Didn't. I guess I just and just didn't ingest enough for it to be deadly or to faint. If I had taken just a little bit more I might have died. It gave me a fear of dying though. Haven't tried ctbing since then, since it was too traumatic mentally.
Would buy N if it was available and cheap. Falling to sleep instead of fainting with a fast heart beat sounds nice.
Fuck SN, heard it's like yew poisoning. I cannot do it if it involves a fast heart beat.
Thought about jumping, but there's no tall buildings or places where I could do it.
Thought about going to a lake and drowning, but fuck freezing cold waters, I don't have a boat to get into the middle of the lake, and people might see me and rescue me if I do it near the shore.
Would do it with a gun, but don't have a gun.
Tried stabbing my throat a few times, couldn't do it. But it was surprisingly easy mentally. I literally believe it would be easier for me to pierce my throat than to poison myself ever again.
Hahaha, I'm a professional ctb'er, tried almost all the methods that I have available. Gotta catch them all! So yeah, I don't know if there are any other methods I could try but haven't...
Oh wait, gases. Thought about using the gas methods, but I don't know how to gain access to them. What I mean is, I suck at lying, and if they asked me "what's this gas for?" I would have a hard time keeping a straight face and lying "I have a relative that uses it for their hobby and asked me to buy it for them". I don't know if I could carry them home either. They also require a lot of effort to set up, lots of parts, and a lot of money. There's the charcoal method, but I heard you need to use Asian charcoals or something for it. Not just any charcoals. And they too require special effort.
So yeah, waiting for that nice portal to open.