Discussion Why are you here?

[enditplz]

This question is more directed at people who have been on this site for a year or longer. I personally just joined because I'm doing my research to ctb and have started purchasing the items I need. So I'm just curious what others motivations are for being here if it's not to ctb.

 

[Darkover]

to be around like minded individuals to discuss all that's wrong with life, so i am not to bored doing nothing, plus to find resources to ctb mainly links to websites selling drugs

 

[Roseate]

I feel less alone knowing that there are people who understand my pain. There is no judgement here. I don't feel like I'm crazy. And I'm able to express myself, my thoughts freely. I also get to read other people story, understand more of their story. It's mostly a no judgement place. No one telling me my thoughts are wrong, or that I'm wrong for wanting to end this pain that burdens me everyday.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm waiting for my Dad to go first. I think a lot of people are hanging on for family members. I'm so grateful for this place. Not only to research methods but also for the sense of community and support.

Essentially- I'm now killing time until I can kill myself. I've always loved discussing the big subjects in life. Straying into territory most people find too depressing. I love this place because I feel like I can do that here.

Plus, when I'm feeling so alone, frustrated and desperate- because I feel like I can't go yet- I know I can have a vent on here and be understood. This place is SO much more than just a resource for methods. I feel like there are so many people here who genuinely want to support one another for as much time as we have left to serve on this rock.

I honestly don't know what I'd do without it. I may still have years to go. It comforts me that this place exists.

 

[whywere]

The reasons are twofold for me. 1) I am around folks that are in the same frame of mind as me and will not zing me, disapprove of me, and the like 2) It is so nice for me to be able to at least in typing and not in person, but still great, be able to have folks that I can talk with and feel comfortable around, just so darn nice.

A happy weekend to all on SS and lots of awesome blue sunny skies for all.

Walter

 

[outrider567]

This question is more directed at people who have been on this site for a year or longer. I personally just joined because I'm doing my research to ctb and have started purchasing the items I need. So I'm just curious what others motivations are for being here if it's not to ctb.

Death of long time girlfriend 1/24/22, went from a good life to an empty pointless and depressing life in just a few days

Death of long time girlfriend 1/24/22, went from a good life to an empty pointless and depressing life in just a few days

No words to describe how much I miss her

 

[jodes2]

To be around understanding people. I'm not really suicidal anymore but this community is very warm, welcoming and helpful. I just wish it was larger! Such a great place where I can just be me.

 

[Roseate]

To be around understanding people. I'm not really suicidal anymore but this community is very warm, welcoming and helpful. I just wish it was larger! Such a great place where I can just be me.

I am very glad to here that. There are a good amount of understanding people here indeed.

 

[FuneralCry]

I only still exist as suicide is something that is very difficult for me. If it was easier to leave I would be long gone at this point and I would be nowhere near this site, of course. I don't wish to associate with existing in any way and I despise the very nature of existence but sadly all of the difficulties, complications, risks and just the fact that reliable methods are inaccessible for me is what keeps me trapped here in this hellish world. It's certainly very unfortunate and unfair how things are this way, but it's simply the reality.

 

[Willthishelp?]

I really am very desperate.. due to psychoses long episode last year I am loosing every thing, my house, my career, no money, at the end of my income, few more days deep depression.. had me in bed for months now, no energy left, cause tried vsed, literally can't move but my house already had to be sold months ago., I was just not aware.. I do need to go.. I trying to get with all the strengt I have ( I was a successful artist and now I look like a drug addict ) in just a short period of time my whole life blew up in my face.. my house and garden looks like a pig farm needs at least months and money to get it ready for sale. I can't do anything cause of the months in bed and avoiding and vsed.. I am soooo screwed .. helpppp

I really am very desperate.. due to psychoses long episode last year I am loosing every thing, my house, my career, no money, at the end of my income, few more days deep depression.. had me in bed for months now, no energy left, cause tried vsed, literally can't move but my house already had to be sold months ago., I was just not aware.. I do need to go.. I trying to get with all the strengt I have ( I was a successful artist and now I look like a drug addict ) in just a short period of time my whole life blew up in my face.. my house and garden looks like a pig farm needs at least months and money to get it ready for sale. I can't do anything cause of the months in bed and avoiding and vsed.. I am soooo screwed .. helpppp

By the way can someone post a picture of the function how to post?? Can't see it

 

[jodes2]

I only still exist as suicide is something that is very difficult for me. If it was easier to leave I would be long gone at this point and I would be nowhere near this site, of course. I don't wish to associate with existing in any way and I despise the very nature of existence but sadly all of the difficulties, complications, risks and just the fact that reliable methods are inaccessible for me is what keeps me trapped here in this hellish world. It's certainly very unfortunate and unfair how things are this way, but it's simply the reality.

Why can't you use SN? Or jump from beachy head? Or get a tent and some charcoal?

 

[_Kaira_]

I was supposed to have died almost 2 years ago. Was so close but I was found too early, and ressusitated. I had a couple more poorly planned attempts before that as well that didn't get anywhere near as close. I will be attempting again soon enough.

Other than that, I am happy to be able to hear others out about their situations as well as speak of my own. I am greatly saddened that many of those I really liked talking to are gone (for various reasons).

 

[Hyd999]

Im here cus im hoping to find a post that will give me the courage to ctb. I hate everything about being a "person" i just wish i had the courage to just do it and never think back on my decision

 

[That's Not Me]

Because this is the least toxic place on the Internet. You can speak what is in your heart and no one will be aggressive with you. It is comforting.

I really am very desperate.. due to psychoses long episode last year I am loosing every thing, my house, my career, no money, at the end of my income, few more days deep depression.. had me in bed for months now, no energy left, cause tried vsed, literally can't move but my house already had to be sold months ago., I was just not aware.. I do need to go.. I trying to get with all the strengt I have ( I was a successful artist and now I look like a drug addict ) in just a short period of time my whole life blew up in my face.. my house and garden looks like a pig farm needs at least months and money to get it ready for sale. I can't do anything cause of the months in bed and avoiding and vsed.. I am soooo screwed .. helpppp

By the way can someone post a picture of the function how to post?? Can't see it

I am deeply sorry for everything that is happening to you. I truly hope that you find peace in your soul. You can use this forum as a place to post your thoughts and emotions. About posting, you should go to the home page and click on some topic, then just write in one of these places.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I found this site by accident, not even knowing what it was, and have taken advantage of all it has to offer regarding methodology and the like. This site helped me formulate a plan which I intend to put into motion just as soon as I'm able. I'm still here because I am not quite ready to CTB, although I'm ready to go, if that makes any sense. I have a few things that I must get taken care of before I go, which is exceedingly more difficult, as depression as zapped away most of my energy, but I do what I need to do as much as I'm able. In the meantime, this is the only social interaction with others I have in my life and it's good to have others to converse with who understand what I'm feeling without judgment.

 

[FuneralCry]

Why can't you use SN? Or jump from beachy head? Or get a tent and some charcoal?

Those methods are all inaccessible for me personally. Suicide simply isn't that straightforward and there are too many risks and complications involved for me in trying to order ctb materials and planning to die. Because of the difficulties involved in leaving this world, for now I just continue existing, but no matter what I will never reach old age, I refuse to get there so eventually I will have to find a way to be gone. And I live quite a distance away from Beachy Head and the jumping method sounds so terrifying anyway.

 

[SorrowMind]

when I joined I was very suicidal and wanted to ctbas fast as possible after two failed attempts. joining this forum made me feel less alone and afterwards by situation improved for a while, this forum helped with this too since I felt understood and less alone but loneliness is not my reason to die. I don't have a safe method yet, maybe I'll ctb when I'll have that. it's not that easy and straightforward for anyone to buy something and be done.
now I come here because to me it's a safe place where I can talk about suicide and vent without the risk of having the police knock on my door and send me to a mental facility where I only hear news on how patients are beaten up, raped and that's not even the worst that happens in such institutions where I live.

 

[StringPuppet]

This is the only place where you can talk about wanting to die and you won't get the same 3 BS patronizing responses that people online always give

"Suicide's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" Yeah thanks I already know that, a permanent solution is exactly what I'm looking for

"You're loved" Fuck off you don't even know me

"It always gets better" And it can always get worse, stop trying to sell me a fantasy