B
BoneWeary57
Member
- Jun 5, 2024
- 22
I cry for what was, what is and what will never be. Because sometimes crying is the only thing I know or can do. That is my answer.
So much wasted time. So much anger...rage..at how things got to the point they are in my life. I never saw any of it coming, sure as fuck never thought I'd end up anywhere near where I am (and am not) in life now. I am so tired of living in the past, at least in my minds eye, but don't know how to not think about it almost all the time. IF the present or future were even half of what my life use to be, I could handle it better, look forward to more days,weeks,months or even years. But every day I feel like an ungrateful asshole because all think about is what I am living without - the people & places that brought me joy, stability, happiness - are all gone. Each day has become harder to navigate, even simple daily task of living. Yes, some is depression but mostly, it's a giving up that I have not felt before. Tired of feeling like this, having to force fake emotions or interactions with people at work, tired of not having an option to exit stage left, ctb and hope for something much better beyond what is now.
So I ask..why are you crying my friend?
So much wasted time. So much anger...rage..at how things got to the point they are in my life. I never saw any of it coming, sure as fuck never thought I'd end up anywhere near where I am (and am not) in life now. I am so tired of living in the past, at least in my minds eye, but don't know how to not think about it almost all the time. IF the present or future were even half of what my life use to be, I could handle it better, look forward to more days,weeks,months or even years. But every day I feel like an ungrateful asshole because all think about is what I am living without - the people & places that brought me joy, stability, happiness - are all gone. Each day has become harder to navigate, even simple daily task of living. Yes, some is depression but mostly, it's a giving up that I have not felt before. Tired of feeling like this, having to force fake emotions or interactions with people at work, tired of not having an option to exit stage left, ctb and hope for something much better beyond what is now.
So I ask..why are you crying my friend?