itswhatits

itswhatits

it won't give up, it wants me dead
Sep 12, 2024
6
I think maybe we're drawn to suicide because it's simple. Me, I got so many different things wrong with my life, it feels impossible to even get started on fixing it. I work on one thing, I feel guilty for not working on another. I clean my room, why aren't I talking to friends? I talk to friends, why aren't I looking for a better job? I look for a better job, why aren't I learning how to drive? and so on, and so forth. It strangles you, makes any progress you make feel worthless, so why not just cut the problems off at the source?

Still, though, I'm not satisfied by suicide as an answer for me. On some level, I still like life, and I still want to live a life that makes me happy, and that makes other people happy to be a part of. I just don't know what the answer to that question is for me. I want something that's as radical of a break from my current life as suicide would be. I want to just fuck off out of the trap of modern life and find something absolutely new to do with this flesh, this blood, this mind. I used to have this fantasy, back when I was working in the garden center at Wal-Mart, of leaving everything behind and riding my bike for miles and miles, going through all 50 US states. Maybe someday.
 
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Gangrel

Gangrel

Specialist
Jul 25, 2024
363
it must be quite simple really

if you are doing something that feels bad you instinctively want to do something that feels good or at least better

living feels like shit to most of us so death must be good because the other options are harder, don't work anymore and a bunch of other reasons

it's a way out basically
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,361
Suicide can be seen as an option because, for some people, it represents a way to escape unbearable pain or suffering when all other avenues of comfort seem closed off. Our instinct to seek comfort and avoid pain generally keeps us engaged in life, pushing us to find ways to cope, adapt, or seek relief from distress. However, when suffering becomes overwhelming and feels inescapable—whether due to chronic physical pain, severe mental illness, or existential despair—suicide can appear as a last resort, offering what some see as a definitive end to suffering.
 
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uniqueusername4

uniqueusername4

died a long time ago
Aug 13, 2023
182
It started out as innocent thoughts of wanting to sleep forever because my life is not unpleasant when I am fully asleep. Then I realized that is basically death anyways and death didn't seem bad anymore, just peaceful. It is just relief from the suffering.
 
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B

brokeandbroken

Paragon
Apr 18, 2023
997
I think maybe we're drawn to suicide because it's simple. Me, I got so many different things wrong with my life, it feels impossible to even get started on fixing it. I work on one thing, I feel guilty for not working on another. I clean my room, why aren't I talking to friends? I talk to friends, why aren't I looking for a better job? I look for a better job, why aren't I learning how to drive? and so on, and so forth. It strangles you, makes any progress you make feel worthless, so why not just cut the problems off at the source?

Still, though, I'm not satisfied by suicide as an answer for me. On some level, I still like life, and I still want to live a life that makes me happy, and that makes other people happy to be a part of. I just don't know what the answer to that question is for me. I want something that's as radical of a break from my current life as suicide would be. I want to just fuck off out of the trap of modern life and find something absolutely new to do with this flesh, this blood, this mind. I used to have this fantasy, back when I was working in the garden center at Wal-Mart, of leaving everything behind and riding my bike for miles and miles, going through all 50 US states. Maybe someday.
My life is simply isn't worth living. I went from hard working medical student with a bright future family who appeared like they cared and either people I thought were friends or the potential to make new ones. After I was a victim of crimes by the medical school... I have no future, no friends, no family, I am completely broke bordering on homeless, food insecurity is a real thing for me, I have no potential to make friends let alone a spouse. Every single thing people want or need in their life has been stripped and stolen from me.

Let's go through maslows hierachy of needs

Food especially nutritious food hell no
Shelter- hmmm sort of I am at a shit board and lodge with shit growing on the walls that smells like hell. It isn't permanent and it isn't good. It certainly isn't what you want.
Clothing increasingly getting close to no
Health- Worse everyday
Employment- God knows I've tried probably 700+ maybe more applications for things I am overqualified for. Nothing. I have a college degree and was in medical school yet I can't get an interview at freaking jimmy johns as a sandwich artist.
Property-Fuck no
Security- I am a nerdy white guy who grew up in a wealthy family who attended medical school living in a gang infested part of a major city. What do you think. I'm persona non grata.
Family/Social Ability- Fuck no
Friendship- Fuck no
Family- Fuck no
Intimacy- Fuck no
Sense of Connection- Ha no
Confidence- I don't know. Maybe. But it's convoluted because if I have any whatsoever then I am a bad guy.
Achievement- No
Respect of others- LOL
Need to be unique- Honestly I don't give a shit about this
Morality- I don't know
Creativity- I don't know and I don't really care
Spontaneity- Lol no
Acceptance- LOL no
Purpose- I've had a purpose then it was taken from me so really no
Meaning and inner potential-Nope

Hard to live a fulfilling life with breathing, water, and sleep.
 
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HeartThatFeeds

HeartThatFeeds

Its joever
Aug 19, 2023
39
Death seems like a better option to us compared to living because we as humans are faced with so many struggles and difficulties, we constantly have to worry about things going on within our lives and people to the point that death seems like a much better option, at least when we are dead there is no more room for pain
 
SmallKoy

SmallKoy

Aficionado
Jan 18, 2024
194
I think often times it's the option our brain goes to under intense stress/anxiety/etc. In those moments of intense feelings it seems to be the easiest option.
I think maybe we're drawn to suicide because it's simple. Me, I got so many different things wrong with my life, it feels impossible to even get started on fixing it. I work on one thing, I feel guilty for not working on another. I clean my room, why aren't I talking to friends? I talk to friends, why aren't I looking for a better job? I look for a better job, why aren't I learning how to drive? and so on, and so forth.
Completely relate. Every time I think about all the stuff I should be doing to be productive, it always feels like suicide is the easiest option. I wouldn't have to worry about being a functioning member of society anymore. I wouldn't have to worry about what other people think of me. There would be no more worry.
 
Z-A

Z-A

Let me go
Mar 3, 2024
305
Because if you don't want to live, you want to die. The only way to achieve that is by CTB or waiting until your time comes. I think the one that's achievable faster is more appealing to people.
 

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