goodoldnoname923
Wanting to find peace
- Mar 28, 2024
- 833
I always wake up the most emotionally voltile and sensitive my feelings and thoughts are all over the place racing around like crazy like i just wish the sun didn't exist i wish I didn't have to worry about being found i wish i could just roll out of bed and kill myself
But its just too risky too unnatural too wrong…but the day feels so fucking long waiting for an opportunity when i can finally take the step but by the time i get to a point were that is possible my mood as often picked up…or i just dont feel as terrible as i did but this has been an endless cycle these last few days and week now,like all i wanna do is put my head inside that noose lay down with my tablet put on a video of my choosing and just text my pro choice friends and even people on here on a goodbye thread and slowly pass away as emotionally breaking and scary as it will be aleast i know my pain and suffering will be over
But it feels like that day will never come,the stars will never align like something is keeping me here just to suffer it's not like I'm getting better in any way just having brief moments of joy but the misery pain suffering self hate agony antagonism misunderstanding guilt hurt and more continuous eats away at me
I just want the stars to allign and for me to take my last breath and to say my final goodbye
But its just too risky too unnatural too wrong…but the day feels so fucking long waiting for an opportunity when i can finally take the step but by the time i get to a point were that is possible my mood as often picked up…or i just dont feel as terrible as i did but this has been an endless cycle these last few days and week now,like all i wanna do is put my head inside that noose lay down with my tablet put on a video of my choosing and just text my pro choice friends and even people on here on a goodbye thread and slowly pass away as emotionally breaking and scary as it will be aleast i know my pain and suffering will be over
But it feels like that day will never come,the stars will never align like something is keeping me here just to suffer it's not like I'm getting better in any way just having brief moments of joy but the misery pain suffering self hate agony antagonism misunderstanding guilt hurt and more continuous eats away at me
I just want the stars to allign and for me to take my last breath and to say my final goodbye