Why am I thinking about tomorrow

[Apricity]

I want to ctb tonight so bad, but I keep thinking about tomorrow. My SI I guess. I still have my rope, but I can't get over the gagging and choking feeling. I have Nitrogen ordered, but they're taking their sweet time and I'm getting pissed and impatient. I just want it all to stop.

 

[RevolutionaryRed]

Relax. I felt what you feel right now. Suicide shouldn't be impulsive. That's how you'll just end up injured and not dead . Your anxieties are valid but there must be a better way to cope until you have an exit plan. Tried going for a walk ? Lol

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Why the rush? Physical pain? If it's only mental/emotional there are actually ways to reduce the suffering.

 

[Apricity]

Why the rush? Physical pain? If it's only mental/emotional there are actually ways to reduce the suffering.

I have both. My evil bitch ex boss pushed me to the point of severely injuring my back. My discs are done. I've had several procedures done and nothing helps the pain. Additionally, I'm dealing with the end of my marriage to the love of my life.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I have both. My evil bitch ex boss pushed me to the point of severely injuring my back. My discs are done. Additionally, I'm dealing with the end of my marriage to the love of my life.

Holy shit, that's horrible.

 

[Apricity]

I'm pretty sure this will hold. I just want to get over the choking feeling and the gagging. I'm tired of being tired.

 

[Sebuet]

View attachment 72632I'm pretty sure this will hold. I just want to get over the choking feeling and the gagging. I'm tired of being tired.

Just wanted to say, I hope you find peace.

 

[Apricity]

I passed out before i could even try. Luckily i woke up before anyone else and took it down so i didn't get caught.

 

[ClownMe]

I passed out before i could even try. Luckily i woke up before anyone else and took it down so i didn't get caught.

Hey! I'm glad you didn't go yet, I know as well as anyone how it feels to want to leave immediately, ive gotta wait until my dog passes away to attempt suicide unfortunately. You say you've got nitrogen coming soon? I'm assuming you're gonna do the exit bag method? That'd be less painful than hanging. Just try and hang in there a bit longer, it sucks but hopefully it'll all be worth it in the end.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much, living is painful and I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are feeling hopeless. I wish you well.

 

[Apricity]

My Nitrogen order has been delayed again. New estimated ship date is 9/9. I don't want to wait that long. I'm getting angry and anxious. I tried a large Nationwide supplier but they want me to fill out some paperwork to even be able to buy from them.