T
Throwaway478953b
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- Nov 15, 2018
- 37
Why am I still alive...?
I don't get it why I'm not dead yet. Why haven't I ctb.
I am hopeless, completely alone, full of self hate and hatred for everything around me.
I am a monster. I have nothing going for me. It is a miserable existance. Why am I alive?
If I could press a button and have it end when I sleep I would.
My method is hanging. It is not a painful method. I can do it. I have time.
Is it because I'm scared of pain? Is it really just that?
Is it fear?
Is it desire? Do I still want to do something I haven't done? Is there still some slither of hope?
The survival instinct of this body???
Why the hell am I here when everything is telling me to die?
I don't get it why I'm not dead yet. Why haven't I ctb.
I am hopeless, completely alone, full of self hate and hatred for everything around me.
I am a monster. I have nothing going for me. It is a miserable existance. Why am I alive?
If I could press a button and have it end when I sleep I would.
My method is hanging. It is not a painful method. I can do it. I have time.
Is it because I'm scared of pain? Is it really just that?
Is it fear?
Is it desire? Do I still want to do something I haven't done? Is there still some slither of hope?
The survival instinct of this body???
Why the hell am I here when everything is telling me to die?