Venting WHY AM I STILL ALIVE

[shango]

Why the fuck am I still fucking here? I've tried partial, I've tried slicing my neck, all the methods I used have ended in failure. I want to die now! I can't order SN where I'm at right now and I don't even know if I will be leaving here soon. Even when I order my SN, I don't plan on taking antiemetics so I don't even know if my plan is full proof. I JUST WANT TO END IT NOW, THE WAY I FEEL IS WAY TOO FUCKING PAINFUL! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME BUT DEATH, JUST KILL ME NOW!

 

[Squiddy]

Why the fuck am I still fucking here? I've tried partial, I've tried slicing my neck, all the methods I used have ended in failure. I want to die now! I can't order SN where I'm at right now and I don't even know if I will be leaving here soon. Even when I order my SN, I don't plan on taking antiemetics so I don't even know if my plan is full proof. I JUST WANT TO END IT NOW, THE WAY I FEEL IS WAY TOO FUCKING PAINFUL! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME BUT DEATH, JUST KILL ME NOW!

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Have you thought about getting N?

 

[shango]

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Have you thought about getting N?

Isn't it illegal? I don't know if I want to get caught with that stuff. But I would like to have the option to buy it. Do you know where to buy it?

 

[woxihuanni]

Tell me, why not take AE with SN to make sure it has a good chance?

 

[shango]

Tell me, why not take AE with SN to make sure it has a good chance?

They are too hard to get in the US

 

[woxihuanni]

There is a Why is meto so hard to get? thread. I'd suggest checking it.

 

[Squiddy]

Isn't it illegal? I don't know if I want to get caught with that stuff. But I would like to have the option to buy it. Do you know where to buy it?

I'm not sure if it's legal or not and no, I don't know where to get it, I just read that it was a peaceful way to go

 

[woxihuanni]

Thing with N is, you still need meto. Your problem is not having meto, not having SN instead of N.

 

[shango]

I'm not sure if it's legal or not and no, I don't know where to get it, I just read that it was a peaceful way to go

Yeah, I heard that too. But it just seems really hard to get, or people get scammed or caught with it. Definitely something I would look into, but not in my current plans

 

[Tinkerthinker55]

Millions of years of evolution are keeping you here just to fertilise an egg to ensure the survival of your particular strain of DNA molecule. Your survival and success depends on how good you are at exploiting and consuming other organisms who also want to pass on their DNA.

A really sick joke that started around 3 5 billion years ago (Emergence of Life), I'm still waiting for the punchline.

 

[shango]

There is a Why is meto so hard to get? thread. I'd suggest checking it.

I just registered an account on the india mart. I really hope this works

 

[woxihuanni]

I wish you peace and the best outcomes in life or otherwise.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Why the fuck am I still fucking here? I've tried partial, I've tried slicing my neck, all the methods I used have ended in failure. I want to die now! I can't order SN where I'm at right now and I don't even know if I will be leaving here soon. Even when I order my SN, I don't plan on taking antiemetics so I don't even know if my plan is full proof. I JUST WANT TO END IT NOW, THE WAY I FEEL IS WAY TOO FUCKING PAINFUL! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME BUT DEATH, JUST KILL ME NOW!

I'm sorry you're suffering. Have you thought about jumping? Or getting a gun liscense and shooting yourself?

 

[shango]

I'm sorry you're suffering. Have you thought about jumping?

Yeah, but the highest building near me was 4 stories and I got scared looking down. I don't think I have the balls for it

 

[woxihuanni]

Yeah, but the highest building near me was 4 stories and I got scared looking down. I don't think I have the balls for it

Glad you didn't try. You don't need a broken spine on top of your problems. Jumping and gunshot are methods where IF you fail, you will be really sorry to have been born.

 

[shango]

I'm sorry you're suffering. Have you thought about jumping? Or getting a gun liscense and shooting yourself?

Also, I'm under 21 so I'm not legally allowed to purchase a gun

 

[RedAlert]

You've tried partial hanging, but have you tried short drop?

 

[shango]

You've tried partial hanging, but have you tried short drop?

Hm, I'm not familiar with the method. Is it the same technicalities of partial? Either way, I'm pretty much done with anything that has to do with the neck area

 

[RedAlert]

Hm, I'm not familiar with the method. Is it the same technicalities of partial? Either way, I'm pretty much done with anything that has to do with the neck area

Yeah it has something to do with the neck area, forget about that idea then. What are you doing right now or what are your plans for the day?

 

[Hurry]

Why the fuck am I still fucking here? I've tried partial, I've tried slicing my neck, all the methods I used have ended in failure. I want to die now! I can't order SN where I'm at right now and I don't even know if I will be leaving here soon. Even when I order my SN, I don't plan on taking antiemetics so I don't even know if my plan is full proof. I JUST WANT TO END IT NOW, THE WAY I FEEL IS WAY TOO FUCKING PAINFUL! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME BUT DEATH, JUST KILL ME NOW!

Sorry for you ... how did you miss the partial hanging?

 

[shango]

Yeah it has something to do with the neck area, forget about that idea then. What are you doing right now or what are your plans for the day?

I plan to ingest SN soon. Hopefully next week if things go right for me. I've already bought gaviscon for antiacid and I might either do weed or buy antiemetics from this india mart place. The place I'm in right now won't let me order this stuff, so I'm going to have to wait till I get out of this place. But my plans for the rest of the day is basically sit and cry all day in my room lol

Sorry for you ... how did you miss the partial hanging?

Miss?

 

[RedAlert]

I plan to ingest SN soon. Hopefully next week if things go right for me. I've already bought gaviscon for antiacid and I might either do weed or buy antiemetics from this india mart place. The place I'm in right now won't let me order this stuff, so I'm going to have to wait till I get out of this place.

Miss?

Yeah, the aniemetics part is a bitch. How affecting is weed as an antiemetic?

 

[shango]

Yeah, the aniemetics part is a bitch. How affecting is weed as an antiemetic?

Well it's used for cancer patients for pain relief and antiemetic, so I think it could work. Haven't heard anyone doing it like that. But then again there are people who died taking SN without antiemetics so better than nothing I suppose

 

[RedAlert]

Your pretty young though so the chances of your stomach responding to and eliminating the high intake of sodium is pretty high. I think you would need to smoke alot of weed for it to work.

 

[shango]

Your pretty young though so the chances of your stomach responding to and eliminating the high intake of sodium is pretty high. I think you would need to smoke alot of weed for it to work.

Yeah, probably. Shouldn't be too hard though.

 

[RedAlert]

How are you feeling right now?

 

[shango]

How are you feeling right now?

I'm feeling like shit. If I had a gun right now I would aim for the vital parts of my brain. If I had SN I would take my antiacid and hope for the best. I genuinely want to die after what happened last night. I genuinely shouldn't be alive anymore and idc about pain anymore. As long as I would be successful in less than 30 minutes, I would endure anything. I'm on suicide watch where I'm at right now, so I can't even have anything sharp near me and if I did try anything it would lengthen my stay here. So I don't really have a choice right now but to rot and think about how much of a mistake I am

 

[RedAlert]

I'm feeling like shit. If I had a gun right now I would aim for the vital parts of my brain. If I had SN I would take my antiacid and hope for the best. I genuinely want to die after what happened last night. I genuinely shouldn't be alive anymore and idc about pain anymore. As long as I would be successful in less than 30 minutes, I would endure anything. I'm on suicide watch where I'm at right now, so I can't even have anything sharp near me and if I did try anything it would lengthen my stay here. So I don't really have a choice right now but to rot and think about how much of a mistake I am

Yeah, i know exactly what you mean about the gun part. Yeah your definitely in pain right now dude. What hapened last night and i'm guessing your in the hospital right now right?

 

[shango]

Yeah, i know exactly what you mean about the gun part. Yeah your definitely in pain right now dude. What hapened last night and i'm guessing your in the hospital right now right?

It's kinda hard to talk about right now. But idk. Maybe I can talk about it later. I wouldn't say I'm in a hospital, but I guess it could be similar