Venting why am i like this

[overwhelming]

i can't even talk to my own brother.
i can't make eye contact with him. there isn't anything wrong with him. i am SO socially awkward that i can't interact with any member of my family correctly. it isn't just him. I love them all and i can't even interact with them properly.
I have no friends. i have always been known as shy and reserved and ugly, and weird, and unapproachable, and fuck, why can't i just be normal? perhaps i should go back on zoloft? it isn't like therapy has worked either. i can't do anything. i suck at EVERYTHING i do and i have no hobbies. and it's eating away at me too. my birthday's soon. who else to spend it with than family i'm socially awkward with. so pathetic shaking before someone I've known since forever. i only sleep. i am such a waste.
can't even do basic human things properly. i can't even pour fucking milk.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm sorry you feel this way. It sounds like you may suffer from severe social anxiety. My husband experiences this too, though not as severe as you. He sleeps the day away a lot as well.

To make the leap to say that you are a "waste" I think is unfair to yourself. It's really easy to focus on our flaws, because we see other people's success in those areas. You are not a waste. You have made it this far, through some really challenging situations it seems. You are resilient and made for survival.

Have you talked to a therapist regarding your social anxiety?

 

[overwhelming]

I'm sorry you feel this way. It sounds like you may suffer from severe social anxiety. My husband experiences this too, though not as severe as you. He sleeps the day away a lot as well.

To make the leap to say that you are a "waste" I think is unfair to yourself. It's really easy to focus on our flaws, because we see other people's success in those areas. You are not a waste. You have made it this far, through some really challenging situations it seems. You are resilient and made for survival.

Have you talked to a therapist regarding your social anxiety?

I have, and i have been diagnosed quite a few times, but exposure therapy is terrifying, and i never comply to it

 

[so tired or manic]

the best thing for my social anxiety was to work retail, but boy was it tough for a while.

 

[DeathNoot]

i can't even talk to my own brother.
i can't make eye contact with him. there isn't anything wrong with him. i am SO socially awkward that i can't interact with any member of my family correctly. it isn't just him. I love them all and i can't even interact with them properly.
I have no friends. i have always been known as shy and reserved and ugly, and weird, and unapproachable, and fuck, why can't i just be normal? perhaps i should go back on zoloft? it isn't like therapy has worked either. i can't do anything. i suck at EVERYTHING i do and i have no hobbies. and it's eating away at me too. my birthday's soon. who else to spend it with than family i'm socially awkward with. so pathetic shaking before someone I've known since forever. i only sleep. i am such a waste.
can't even do basic human things properly. i can't even pour fucking milk.

This sounds like something I would write, especially on a bad day. Expect I have one hobby lol. Seriously tho, I'm really sorry you have to deal with it :( I too get shaky with people it's frustrating. I really don't think you're a waste, which is super hypocritical of me to say but whatever.

 

[overwhelming]

the best thing for my social anxiety was to work retail, but boy was it tough for a while.

you're damn brave

 

[Kain10th]

I ask myself the same question all the time