Story Why am i Like this?

[notsohpy]

This is my First Tread, please excuse my english as its Not my first language.

For a Long time i thought i was depressiv because i was Overweighed, i Changed that. Then i thought maybe i just Need to be more outside with people i Like, Then i thought maybe its because i cant Buy the Things i Liked. So i got lucky and got the best Job i Could in the area i live in, bought my Lovely car, my Dream bike and Many more, but nothing improves the way i expirience life.

over the years (roughly 6) it got More and more Bad, i am now at the Point were i cant be alone because i always think about ending the endless loop that Many call live.

I cant Write a last letter because i know it is gonna raise more questions than it will. I thought about getting Little Boxes for everyone that has Stayed with me, and give them a piece of my hearth (the Things i worked for in life) i wish them all the best my parents, sister and all the Other that have kept me in this planet.

A Little about my mental Health.
I have severe mood changes that Effect the people around me, and im so so sorry for it. the 2 people that i Truly opened up to left me and Said "Go to Therapy or something" and left me on read. It still hurts years later. Everyday is draining me more and more to the point of not wanting to even get out of bed. I think I would do a favor leaving this world.

What is wrong with me?

Thank you for reading this.
Much love ~Happy

 

[Michael_the_ratman]

I understand how you feel very well. I honestly don't think you deserve it because you seem so sweet ^^. I don't have any advice for you, but I really hope it'll be better

For the people who you opened up to and ignored you, they seem bad. It's not something anyone should do, and it's cruel. I hope you know that you aren't the problem in this situation, and it's them who strongly lack empathy. Nothing is wrong with you, you just need support. I'm sorry your life is like this ):