Why am i always hit with "think about the people around you!"!?

[Kimmi.rikudotnet]

I've been thinking alot for the past few years. I think suicide is needed in some cases. I believe there's cases where death is inevitable. Personally, there is no saving me from the situation I'm in right now and death is needed.

I hate it when people tell me to "think about the people around me" or the "but I'd suffer under your death!!!" So I gotta continue suffering so you won't? Why would I care about the people around me when I'm dead???? Why am I selfish for saving myself?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I just wish to be free from the suffering as well, I really wish suicide is accepted as a personal choice and the fact that it isn't feels so cruel to me as all I hope for is to never exist again. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Because at the end of the day, it's their selfishness vs yours (yes, suicide is selfish, but selfishness isn't necessarily bad; every living thing acts in its own interest, even if its interest is another's interest). They demonstrate an immense lack of respect and care for your problems when they say that, it's a form of minimization imo. They also may wish to avoid doing some soul searching by emotionally manipulating you into sticking around longer. It's all an unfortunate byproduct of over-attachment, anti-suicide messaging, localized collectivism, and unenlightened self-interest in my opinion.

But it's also a byproduct of an unfortunate side-effect of suicide, which is leaving behind suffering for others. They aren't wrong when they point that out. So in that regard, it can be understandable why they'd bring it up to you or anyone else that expresses the wish to no longer exist; again, it's one party's selfishness vs another. But I'd argue that it's more important to protect the individual's right to bodily autonomy and self-determination than sparing other's feelings and attachments, however that's not necessarily a controversial thing to say here so I'm kinda preaching to the choir.

I'm sorry you're getting these kinds of responses though. I think many here can relate to your experience. At least you can find support and respect for your desires here on the forum. Unfortunately though, unless you're incredibly lucky to have understanding friends/family, it's just about the only place where you'll find that.

 

[willitpass]

Because at the end of the day, it's their selfishness vs yours (yes, suicide is selfish, but selfishness isn't necessarily bad; every living thing acts in its own interest, even if its interest is another's interest). They demonstrate an immense lack of respect and care for your problems when they say that, it's a form of minimization imo. They also may wish to avoid doing some soul searching by emotionally manipulating you into sticking around longer. It's all an unfortunate byproduct of over-attachment, anti-suicide messaging, localized collectivism, and unenlightened self-interest in my opinion.

But it's also a byproduct of an unfortunate side-effect of suicide, which is leaving behind suffering for others. They aren't wrong when they point that out. So in that regard, it can be understandable why they'd bring it up to you or anyone else that expresses the wish to no longer exist; again, it's one party's selfishness vs another. But I'd argue that it's more important to protect the individual's right to bodily autonomy and self-determination than sparing other's feelings and attachments, however that's not necessarily a controversial thing to say here so I'm kinda preaching to the choir.

I'm sorry you're getting these kinds of responses though. I think many here can relate to your experience. At least you can find support and respect for your desires here on the forum. Unfortunately though, unless you're incredibly lucky to have understanding friends/family, it's just about the only place where you'll find that.

Both sides of the experience are just trying to avoid pain. Neither solution is a pain free option.

 

[divinemistress36]

It seems like they care more about their own feelings and suffering than the pain of the suicidal person. I tell my mom all the time I want to die and she says the typical response "But I would be sad without you " instead of "I'm sorry you are in so much pain, how can I help you" response

 

[iamanavalanche]

ppl hit me with this when im under the mindset that they'd be better off haha

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Because they view you as there property, that because you have brought some measurable amount benefit to them, that they are now owed a right over your life. It's also a terrible reason not to CTB, like you said, it's your life not theirs, but in the moment when the person is grasping at straws for any justification to continue your life, as to keep obtaining that benefit from you, they begin to use a tactic in which doesn't actually try and convince you rationally, but instead tries to play on your desire to be "good person". As now if you CTB your now harming others and that makes you "evil" & "Selfish".

My mother did the same thing to me when I tried to CTB, all she would say to me, was to think about how, she felt, as a mother, to have a child that tried to CTB, they make it all about themselves even in the most "Dire" of circumstances. That's probably why I have lost all hope, in the idea of family or friendship being of any actually meaning.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Most people don't understand suicide. The way they see it, you're about to do something bad that's going to hurt both you and them.