Who’s responsible for our funeral?

[itsalittlecold]

I'm in the U.K and I've wondered for years now, if there is a way to prevent my family been responsible for the finances of my funeral.
The fact we have to live through life paying taxes, bills etc and have an expense like a funeral at the end sickens me. I wish I had to opportunity or was in the position to pay for my own funeral.
Me & my family are broke, we get left with huge bills from our parents and knowing there is a chance they'll have to foot the bill for me, is really holding me back!
I've tried 'planting the seed' numerous times to them about my beliefs in not wanting a funeral or a sending off. My death shouldn't be about been sad or 'sending off' it shouldn't be a worry financially, I want my life to be celebrated & I want to be remembered for who I was and how I tried making others happy, laugh and feel comfy in this oh-so uncomfortable world.

Does anyone know or have experience with this? If I could convince my family to never 'claim' me, would they be chased for the costs regardless?

if they insist on having a 'send off' for me, what would be a more appropriate way, to satisfy us both?

Money is the issue & I don't believe anyone should have to pay for deaths of any kind.

Thanks

 

[todiefor]

I think u can prepay for your funeral before you die and u can opt for the option of not paying for a funeral and go direct to cremation so your family will not have to pay for anything and just get some ashes in a box. Call a funeral home to find out.

 

[itsalittlecold]

I think u can prepay for your funeral before you die and u can opt for the option of not paying for a funeral and go direct to cremation so your family will not have to pay for anything and just get some ashes in a box. Call a funeral home to find out.

Thanks for your answer, however I'm trying to look into ways of not paying. Not only can't I pay, I don't believe it should be paid for

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Thanks for your answer, however I'm trying to look into ways of not paying. Not only can't I pay, I don't believe it should be paid for

Even death costs money. Well, it's not that easy, if you have nothing and you have no family or relatives who are legal successors / heirs, then you pay nothing if u have nothing but anyway you will be cremated and buried somewhere, public funds will pay for that, I would say. But I'm sure the government will try to get that money from living relatives if there are any. Perhaps investigate how it works where you live.

 

[Ash]

In the UK, your relatives can refuse to have anything to do with the body and the council then have to take over - BUT the council can also recoup the costs if they suspect that it's a case of can pay, won't pay. I don't know who would be responsible for paying the additional costs of that e.g. court costs.

I think the cheapest, easiest way would be to do a simple, prepaid funeral in advance.

 

[itsalittlecold]

Even death costs money. Well, it's not that easy, if you have nothing and you have no family or relatives who are legal successors / heirs, then you pay nothing if u have nothing but anyway you will be cremated and buried somewhere, public funds will pay for that, I would say. But I'm sure the government will try to get that money from living relatives if there are any. Perhaps investigate how it works where you live.

Thanks, I suspected that to be the case. I know there is a form of public funding, however my close relatives are in contact with me and they work. Definitely something I need to research into more

In the UK, your relatives can refuse to have anything to do with the body and the council then have to take over - BUT the council can also recoup the costs if they suspect that it's a case of can pay, won't pay. I don't know who would be responsible for paying the additional costs of that e.g. court costs.

I think the cheapest, easiest way would be to do a simple, prepaid funeral in advance.

Thanks! That's the conclusion I was coming too, they're in contact with me regular and they work. I think the council will definitely chase them for costs :(

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I'm in the U.K and I've wondered for years now, if there is a way to prevent my family been responsible for the finances of my funeral.
The fact we have to live through life paying taxes, bills etc and have an expense like a funeral at the end sickens me. I wish I had to opportunity or was in the position to pay for my own funeral.
Me & my family are broke, we get left with huge bills from our parents and knowing there is a chance they'll have to foot the bill for me, is really holding me back!
I've tried 'planting the seed' numerous times to them about my beliefs in not wanting a funeral or a sending off. My death shouldn't be about been sad or 'sending off' it shouldn't be a worry financially, I want my life to be celebrated & I want to be remembered for who I was and how I tried making others happy, laugh and feel comfy in this oh-so uncomfortable world.

Does anyone know or have experience with this? If I could convince my family to never 'claim' me, would they be chased for the costs regardless?

if they insist on having a 'send off' for me, what would be a more appropriate way, to satisfy us both?

Money is the issue & I don't believe anyone should have to pay for deaths of any kind.

Thanks

Im not sure if they're obligated forcibly by law to sign and claim you... but I live in the US. I'm printing out papers and signing them and hoping to donate my body to science. Then they're responsible for it, and whatever is left they cremate and give to the family to my knowledge. Have to look it up in your country.

In the UK, your relatives can refuse to have anything to do with the body and the council then have to take over - BUT the council can also recoup the costs if they suspect that it's a case of can pay, won't pay. I don't know who would be responsible for paying the additional costs of that e.g. court costs.

I think the cheapest, easiest way would be to do a simple, prepaid funeral in advance.

Most cost effective is cremation. You're not obligated to have a funeral service.

 

[Forveleth]

I Googled and found that, in the UK, you do not have to have a funeral. The only things that have to be done is you have to inform the government of death and your body has to be disposed of in a legal manor. You don't have to do the full funeral with a service and all of that, your body just has to go in the ground (or in a furnace). You 100% can write in a will that you do not want a full service, which will at least make your wishes known.

I will say, you cannot control what other people do, especially after you are dead. The best you can do is make your wishes known and leave it up to other people as to whether they follow through on them. If they do, great, if not, that's on them.

 

[Ash]

I Googled and found that, in the UK, you do not have to have a funeral. The only things that have to be done is you have to inform the government of death and your body has to be disposed of in a legal manor. You don't have to do the full funeral with a service and all of that, your body just has to go in the ground (or in a furnace). You 100% can write in a will that you do not want a full service, which will at least make your wishes known.

I will say, you cannot control what other people do, especially after you are dead. The best you can do is make your wishes known and leave it up to other people as to whether they follow through on them. If they do, great, if not, that's on them.

The way around that is to do a prepaid funeral, in which case it's binding AFAIK.

ETA and by funeral I mean "legal disposal".

 

[Forever Sleep]

There must be cases where people can't afford a funeral. In which case- the state must pay for the cremation I imagine but I suspect it will be the case that they would assess a family's financial situation. I agree though- it's horrendously expensive. When I did some brief research, it looks like £900 just for a direct cremation.

Really though, all you could do is let your family know in a letter that you don't want a funeral. That you know they loved you and hated the thought of the further financial burden of having one. Beyond that though, I think funerals are mostly for those left behind. They may feel an emotional need to say goodbye for closure- no matter the cost.

 

[dinosavr]

Has anyone of you ever prepaid for a funeral? I'm in my twenties and I wonder if it's in any way normal to pay for your own funeral at such a young age. I'd like to go for it but if it's going to raise any questions, I think I'm better off just leaving the money & instructions on how I want my funeral to be

 

[itsalittlecold]

I Googled and found that, in the UK, you do not have to have a funeral. The only things that have to be done is you have to inform the government of death and your body has to be disposed of in a legal manor. You don't have to do the full funeral with a service and all of that, your body just has to go in the ground (or in a furnace). You 100% can write in a will that you do not want a full service, which will at least make your wishes known.

I will say, you cannot control what other people do, especially after you are dead. The best you can do is make your wishes known and leave it up to other people as to whether they follow through on them. If they do, great, if not, that's on them.

Very well put, thank you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

In the UK, your relatives can refuse to have anything to do with the body and the council then have to take over - BUT the council can also recoup the costs if they suspect that it's a case of can pay, won't pay. I don't know who would be responsible for paying the additional costs of that e.g. court costs.

I think the cheapest, easiest way would be to do a simple, prepaid funeral in advance.

I'm not an expert but after some brief research- for my own, a direct cremation can cost £900 upwards. A prepaid direct cremation can cost £1,500 upwards. Seems unfair doesn't it? But it makes sense when you think about it. They get your money upfront but- they're taking a gamble on when you might die. If you don't die for another 10, 20 years- inflation means everything will be more expensive for them then. I expect the majority of people who take out these plans may well be older but they're probably not intending to die within the next few months.

I likely would still arrange a prepaid direct cremation though- if I can afford it. For me, it's more that I don't want people to feel obliged to travel hundreds of miles for some dry service. I doubt many would anyway which is kind of even more pathetic really! A funeral where no one attends. Lol.

 

[Forveleth]

Poking around some more (because I am now interested in this topic) the hospital where you end up is going to look for someone related to you but I can't tell if your family would be legally obligated to take care of you once contacted...

I'm not an expert but after some brief research- for my own, a direct cremation can cost £900 upwards. A prepaid direct cremation can cost £1,500 upwards. Seems unfair doesn't it? But it makes sense when you think about it. They get your money upfront but- they're taking a gamble on when you might die. If you don't die for another 10, 20 years- inflation means everything will be more expensive for them then. I expect the majority of people who take out these plans may well be older but they're probably not intending to die within the next few months.

I likely would still arrange a prepaid direct cremation though- if I can afford it. For me, it's more that I don't want people to feel obliged to travel hundreds of miles for some dry service. I doubt many would anyway which is kind of even more pathetic really! A funeral where no one attends. Lol.

Does UK do green burials? I don't know the cost comparison but you don't have the cost associated with embalming nor a fancy box to put you in.

 

[Ash]

Does UK do green burials? I don't know the cost comparison but you don't have the cost associated with embalming nor a fancy box to put you in.

We do but I couldn't find a local (to me) one that did pre paid and my research stopped there. That would be my personal ideal.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Poking around some more (because I am now interested in this topic) the hospital where you end up is going to look for someone related to you but I can't tell if your family would be legally obligated to take care of you once contacted...


Does UK do green burials? I don't know the cost comparison but you don't have the cost associated with embalming nor a fancy box to put you in.

I'm not sure but I imagine anything bespoke would be more expensive rather than less. Maybe my cynical mind but I suspect companies make a lot of money from people trying to choose more sustainable options.

 

[Ash]

I'm not sure but I imagine anything bespoke would be more expensive rather than less. Maybe my cynical mind but I suspect companies make a lot of money from people trying to choose more sustainable options.

Yup! It's partly because in many cases, the graves have to be dug by hand and are much further apart than conventional cemeteries. I also read somewhere, though I could be wrong, that private burial grounds have to pay higher fees than churchyards, for example. I read that years ago and never verified it so here's a pinch of salt, just in case: