Who has a normal life?

[Tintypographer]

I have a career, a wife, kids, no drugs, do not drink alcohol at all, go to church every week, volunteer in the community, have no debt, have full medical benefits, can afford to take vacations and have good relationships with friends. But I have severe depression that is so far completely untreatable. I have daily suicidal ideation and no way out of it.

People characterize this site as being filled with incels, pedophiles, rapists and horrible people but I see it as the only place where people with a severe medical condition of hopelessness and untreatable depression can express the concerns of their thoughts of suicide without hearing "you have so much to live for" when that type of talk simply drives the depression deeper.

I would never in my life harm another person physically emotionally or intentionally. My doctor's, family, friends and business associates can't understand at all what the pain is to wake up every day wishing I was dead.

I'm here to state publicly that this site is not filled with the lowest form of humanity, is built on incels and rapists. Those who build strawman-

(a strawman is a logical fallacy used by people who can not create a winning argument whereby they build an easy to topple straw argument and link that to the debate. Saying that sanctioned suicide is filled with pedophiles and incels is a strawman that makes it easy to link the revulsion associated with those behaviors and have someone condemn a concept because the strawman is easier to knock over than the real argument)

-arguments (fix the 26) characterizing this place as built by some reddit sub culture of sexual deviant behavior clearly used the same tactic of "you have so much to live for" with their lost family and won't acknowledge the horror of living with severe suicidal ideation even in the face of a perfect normal life. They're not capable of facing the actual debate of mental illness and the complexities of mental health as an area of severe disease that in some cases is untreatable.

I'm here to state publicly that I don't want to commit suicide but no one understands in the medical or social community that I don't want the pain of being alive anymore. I can promise you that if someone wants to discuss that issue and really take it head on and help in that arena we will have fewer people relying on this site as a place to discuss the pain of suicide.

Until then people who seem perfectly healthy, have no outward problems with life and appear to "have so much to live for" will actively seek out places to discuss what it is like to want to die.

 

[orlandom]

I have a career, a wife, kids, no drugs, do not drink alcohol at all, go to church every week, volunteer in the community, have no debt, have full medical benefits, can afford to take vacations and have good relationships with friends. But I have severe depression that is so far completely untreatable. I have daily suicidal ideation and no way out of it.

People characterize this site as being filled with incels, pedophiles, rapists and horrible people but I see it as the only place where people with a severe medical condition of hopelessness and untreatable depression can express the concerns of their thoughts of suicide without hearing "you have so much to live for" when that type of talk simply drives the depression deeper.

I would never in my life harm another person physically emotionally or intentionally. My doctor's, family, friends and business associates can't understand at all what the pain is to wake up every day wishing I was dead.

I'm here to state publicly that this site is not filled with the lowest form of humanity, is built on incels and rapists. Those who build strawman-

(a strawman is a logical fallacy used by people who can not create a winning argument whereby they build an easy to topple straw argument and link that to the debate. Saying that sanctioned suicide is filled with pedophiles and incels is a strawman that makes it easy to link the revulsion associated with those behaviors and have someone condemn a concept because the strawman is easier to knock over than the real argument)

-arguments (fix the 26) characterizing this place as built by some reddit sub culture of sexual deviant behavior clearly used the same tactic of "you have so much to live for" with their lost family and won't acknowledge the horror of living with severe suicidal ideation even in the face of a perfect normal life. They're not capable of facing the actual debate of mental illness and the complexities of mental health as an area of severe disease that in some cases is untreatable.

I'm here to state publicly that I don't want to commit suicide but no one understands in the medical or social community that I don't want the pain of being alive anymore. I can promise you that if someone wants to discuss that issue and really take it head on and help in that arena we will have fewer people relying on this site as a place to discuss the pain of suicide.

Until then people who seem perfectly healthy, have no outward problems with life and appear to "have so much to live for" will actively seek out places to discuss what it is like to want to die.

There is a reason for any depression. Just answer - the center of your depression?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Incel NEET here, lol.

 

[Tintypographer]

There is a reason for any depression. Just answer - the center of your depression?

I believe it's chemical and an imbalance. I've been treated for over 15 years unsuccessfully. Multiple drug treatments, ketamine, hospitalizations, a one month stint at a resort in patient clinic in flagstaff, two therapy visits a week and a psychiatrist. I can't shake it at all. I'm fully functional for work and family. I have multiple degrees, lead a big team at work and have always been employed. I just hate myself and my existence.

 

[orlandom]

I believe it's chemical and an imbalance. I've been treated for over 15 years unsuccessfully. Multiple drug treatments, ketamine, hospitalizations, a one month stint at a resort in patient clinic in flagstaff, two therapy visits a week and a psychiatrist. I can't shake it at all. I'm fully functional for work and family. I have multiple degrees, lead a big team at work and have always been employed. I just hate myself and my existence.

There is always a reason. It so happens that someone has hidden it very deeply and is afraid to admit even to himself. Do you understand?

 

[Bergamot]

My normal life finish when my GF start to hurt and destroy me..

 

[Symbiote]

There is always a reason. It so happens that someone has hidden it very deeply and is afraid to admit even to himself. Do you understand?

His reason is he hates himself and that no materialistic or capitalistic goals, no acknowledging of accomplishments in life can erase that. I have almost the same as him. No debts, married, decent life, except I got traumatic abuse in childhood, many therapies and doctors and think I'm hardwired to be broken on the inside and filled with self-loathing. Maybe no one in my childhood acknowledged that I would go far or praise me or compliment me. No one showed me love or neglected my needs so therefore something is fundamentally wrong with me. Always something wrong with me.

 

[Bat 17]

I've got kids, good job, nice house. My wife left me and I haven't got over it. Got bipolar too. I can relate to a lot of what OP is saying.

 

[WornOutLife]

I guess I have a 50% normal life.
I study, work, exercise (seldom but I'm trying to do it more frequently), pay my taxes, don't bother my neighbors, etc.

Then, the rest of my time, I'm a 50% NEET/shut-in; try not to go out, play videogames, watch anime and read manga, eat junk food, watch and read pointless stuff on reddit and youtube (Well, I kinda hate reddit because of its toxic people now lol) and so on. I'm stuck in this cycle with basically no improvements in my life except for getting money and learning japanese.

As for love, I wanted to get a gf again but I've decided not to. First, I'd better fix my bipolar disorder.

 

[Trisolaris]

I have a career, a wife, kids, no drugs, do not drink alcohol at all, go to church every week, volunteer in the community, have no debt, have full medical benefits, can afford to take vacations and have good relationships with friends. But I have severe depression that is so far completely untreatable. I have daily suicidal ideation and no way out of it.

People characterize this site as being filled with incels, pedophiles, rapists and horrible people but I see it as the only place where people with a severe medical condition of hopelessness and untreatable depression can express the concerns of their thoughts of suicide without hearing "you have so much to live for" when that type of talk simply drives the depression deeper.

I would never in my life harm another person physically emotionally or intentionally. My doctor's, family, friends and business associates can't understand at all what the pain is to wake up every day wishing I was dead.

I'm here to state publicly that this site is not filled with the lowest form of humanity, is built on incels and rapists. Those who build strawman-

(a strawman is a logical fallacy used by people who can not create a winning argument whereby they build an easy to topple straw argument and link that to the debate. Saying that sanctioned suicide is filled with pedophiles and incels is a strawman that makes it easy to link the revulsion associated with those behaviors and have someone condemn a concept because the strawman is easier to knock over than the real argument)

-arguments (fix the 26) characterizing this place as built by some reddit sub culture of sexual deviant behavior clearly used the same tactic of "you have so much to live for" with their lost family and won't acknowledge the horror of living with severe suicidal ideation even in the face of a perfect normal life. They're not capable of facing the actual debate of mental illness and the complexities of mental health as an area of severe disease that in some cases is untreatable.

I'm here to state publicly that I don't want to commit suicide but no one understands in the medical or social community that I don't want the pain of being alive anymore. I can promise you that if someone wants to discuss that issue and really take it head on and help in that arena we will have fewer people relying on this site as a place to discuss the pain of suicide.

Until then people who seem perfectly healthy, have no outward problems with life and appear to "have so much to live for" will actively seek out places to discuss what it is like to want to die.

Did you try medication?

 

[Tintypographer]

There is always a reason. It so happens that someone has hidden it very deeply and is afraid to admit even to himself. Do you understand?

I have had pristiq, buspar, cymbalta, latuda, lexapro, I have been treated with ketamine, have gone on diets, I'm in good shape physically (run and workout multiple times a week) I've had hundreds of stupid therapy sessions with cognitive behavior, have had emdr specialists, I've been to in patient and out patient. My family and company had me committed to a fancy recovery center.

I have severe major depressive disorder and it manifests with suicidal ideation. I've had it for going on decades now.

I'm not complaining about that or trying to get help treating it here. I'm sharing for the benefit of "fixthe26" that many people who come here are nice, well adjusted people with seeming perfect lives on the outside who want to stop living and characterizing us as people who prey on children is completely wrong.

 

[MMB]

This is basically me.

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I *did* have a normal life, until I got a chapter 51 and they put my into a group home. Before this, I had a good job, my own apartment, my own car, and a loving boyfriend at a relatively young age.
I understand what you mean by people who have well adjusted lives might want to stop living, despite everything they have. I find the a lot of time when I'm happy, I think "is this what I'm living for?" Because to me, it's not worth it. Like yes I enjoy the happy moments of life, but it does not make up for all of the hurt and suffering. Even when I'm happy, im suicidal, because I understand that this life is not one that I want to live.