Who else feels like a prisoner in solitary confinement?

[madscotsman]

Months spent without leaving the house, no human contact, eating the same foods, with nothing to do slowly driving you insane, its like a white room torture or solitary confinement Chinese water torture hybrid

 

[ma0]

Months spent without leaving the house, no human contact, eating the same foods, with nothing to do slowly driving you insane, its like a white room torture or solitary confinement Chinese water torture hybrid

"Gee, this person seems like they could use some help. Let's lock them up and leave them alone with their thoughts for hours at a time."

 

[madscotsman]

"Gee, this person seems like they could use some help. Let's lock them up and leave them alone with their thoughts for hours at a time."

You meaning being on lockdown in the psych ward?

 

[ma0]

You meaning being on lockdown in the psych ward?

Basically, yeah.

 

[madscotsman]

Basically, yeah.

Yea I've been on lockdown for verbal aggression which is literally just raising your voice, they don't allow to feel anger in the wards as that's just the psychosis playing the game, neither do they let you out once you're calm, they make you not ask to be let out or shout for 1 whole hour before they do, its a punishment. A timeout, not for helping you.

 

[ma0]

Yea I've been on lockdown for verbal aggression which is literally just raising your voice, they don't allow to feel anger in the wards as that's just the psychosis playing the game, neither do they let you out once you're calm, they make you not ask to be let out or shout for 1 whole hour before they do, its a punishment. A timeout, not for helping you.

Damn, hope things are better now.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane. After my psychotic break earlier this year I'm pretty concerned about loosing my sanity again, and it's terrifying.

 

[madscotsman]

I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane. After my psychotic break earlier this year I'm pretty concerned about loosing my sanity again, and it's terrifying.

Same to everything

 

[scottchy]

I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane. After my psychotic break earlier this year I'm pretty concerned about loosing my sanity again, and it's terrifying.

Holy shit!
I feel like i just read something that my own brain conceived
I can relate with everything said here friend

 

[bananaolympus]

Literally me im being bed bound 3+ years but finally my bone is ready for surgery first quarter good pronostic to walk again

 

[Darkover]

yeah well they say being born is like being kidnap and then sold into slavery

 

[isolatedl111]

Months spent without leaving the house, no human contact, eating the same foods, with nothing to do slowly driving you insane, its like a white room torture or solitary confinement Chinese water torture hybrid

I can relate to this so much.

 

[S like suicide]

I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane.

I relate to this so much

yeah well they say being born is like being kidnap and then sold into slavery

Who said that?because it sounds like fine poetry to how i am feeling right now

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, I'm basically a prisoner if I am forced to do something that I don't want to do and have no way to escape it. For example, I don't want to live life and I have no desire to stay alive for even another second but I am forced to stay alive because society as well as the government are heavily restricting suicide methods. If I don't have control over my own body to choose if I want to no longer exist, I'm a prisoner

 

[pachamacha]

i been solitry confinment 2 years now im autistic i been institutions over 20 years i want to die so bad to get out of this life i dont know how to make knots and they watch me 24hrs a day i feel sick i dont even have mental illness hospitals make my autism worse im trapped

 

[divinemistress36]

Prison planet

 

[darkest]

yes, life is a prison that pretends to be a hospitable environment for thriving. how far can you really thrive in this fucked up painful existence without being forced for whatever reason? I genuinely don't understand "normal" people that are not suicidal and just live, somehow. they're just so blissfully unaware about the ridiculousness of life and how truly meaningless it is. I cannot comprehend a reason for someone with no desire to live to be forced to keep going. we're all going to die anyway, and death is, to me, a beautiful thing, that is beyond life, by all means, so why not just let go already of whoever you're forcing to stay in this insufferable existence and move the fuck on. we all are going to die anyway; the sun will explode and almost no trace of this miserable rock would stay around. why can't they just let go, I can't fucking do this anymore.

went a lil off track there, point is, I'm determined to escape this gloomy prison cell and catch that sweet four/six-wheeled vehicle outta here.

 

[RoyalBengalAutistic]

That is what my life has become since COVID breakout.

 

[alivebutnotliving]

I once was sent to a psychiatric ward that practiced solitary confinement in this dark, concrete room where i happened to be placed for hours. I find my everyday life to be reminiscent of how I felt in there, and honestly it's quite triggering. You are not wrong to feel this way. Best wishes

 

[FinalVoid25]

I can thankfully still go outside without too much trouble, but besides getting food I barely see any need for it. I have 2 people I can call friends, and even with those I have trouble finding a topic to talk about nowadays. It feels like everything important has been said and observed and now this "life" is just like watching others who are the real humans live their life, like I am a failed experiment that is forced to watch and learn what life is supposed to be but I just can't replicate the actions I see performed. It all feels like a cruel game.

 

[madscotsman]

I can thankfully still go outside without too much trouble, but besides getting food I barely see any need for it. I have 2 people I can call friends, and even with those I have trouble finding a topic to talk about nowadays. It feels like everything important has been said and observed and now this "life" is just like watching others who are the real humans live their life, like I am a failed experiment that is forced to watch and learn what life is supposed to be but I just can't replicate the actions I see performed. It all feels like a cruel game.

Can relate to that, for me it feels like everyone's a part of this big gang that you ain't in, and life goes accordingly.

Prison planet

I believe

I once was sent to a psychiatric ward that practiced solitary confinement in this dark, concrete room where i happened to be placed for hours. I find my everyday life to be reminiscent of how I felt in there, and honestly it's quite triggering. You are not wrong to feel this way. Best wishes

We got sent to our rooms, the shared showers were as you described, a bare wet room designed for sensory deprivation as to not trigger patients, I always had a terrible fear I'd get locked in one day

 

[madscotsman]

i been solitry confinment 2 years now im autistic i been institutions over 20 years i want to die so bad to get out of this life i dont know how to make knots and they watch me 24hrs a day i feel sick i dont even have mental illness hospitals make my autism worse im trapped

I relate to you brother. The system is evil and if you are neurodivergent, they will destroy you. The mental health institutes are weaponised towards autistics.

Yeah, I'm basically a prisoner if I am forced to do something that I don't want to do and have no way to escape it. For example, I don't want to live life and I have no desire to stay alive for even another second but I am forced to stay alive because society as well as the government are heavily restricting suicide methods. If I don't have control over my own body to choose if I want to no longer exist, I'm a prisoner.

Agreed on that, we never signed up to be these workers they force us to be, we dont have the choice to just live we are involuntary workers.
Same on not understanding, I mean i understand the how's and whys that people can get on with it, but going along with the narrative, just surviving giving your all to this invisible "system" for shit in return and seeing nothing wrong with it, I don't know.

 

[LukaParrot]

Totally agree with you guys..... when you spent days..and days... in your home... it's becomes your prison without bars.

Doesnt matter if you live in a small or big home.... you became an inmate that need to pay bills...

Sometimes I give myself a sun bath.....

 

[madscotsman]

Totally agree with you guys..... when you spent days..and days... in your home... it's becomes your prison without bars.

Doesnt matter if you live in a small or big home.... you became an inmate that need to pay bills...

Sometimes I give myself a sun bath.....

Lol the occasional ecstasy of a sun Ray hitting my face in the morning is the only taste of true freedom

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

Yeah I've been wasting away in the same bedroom for months, except for a couple of weeks I spent in a hotel room which was even worse.

Inside the bedroom I'm trapped in an even smaller prison cell which is my fucked up mentally ill brain. No matter what I do I will feel miserable, my brain no longer allows pleasure or joy of any form whatsoever. I'm trapped in this cell no matter where I go, the only way out is to CTB unfortunately.

What kills me is that I never was this way before, I used to have a great job in the city and travel frequently. Now I can't work anymore, and when I go out I'm miserable no matter how nice the destination is.

 

[madscotsman]

Yeah I've been wasting away in the same bedroom for months, except for a couple of weeks I spent in a hotel room which was even worse.

Inside the bedroom I'm trapped in an even smaller prison cell which is my fucked up mentally ill brain. No matter what I do I will feel miserable, my brain no longer allows pleasure or joy of any form whatsoever. I'm trapped in this cell no matter where I go, the only way out is to CTB unfortunately.

What kills me is that I never was this way before, I used to have a great job in the city and travel frequently. Now I can't work anymore, and when I go out I'm miserable no matter how nice the destination is.

Same bro, I can't get out my head and its a bad place to be, like you say, can't feel joy, there's just no stimulation only the desire and want for it which is maddening just by itself, my life was reasonably good too until i got spiked with pcp and its all been downhill overall. Being a drug addict was better than this shit

 

[kitkat9234]

I feel the same way. Like I'm in solitary confinement but just in my apartment. No real interaction with others unless I have to work and half the time I get to remotely. Only venture out for food, pick up meds, therapy etc. I'm slowly losing my mind. Just being stuck with me myself and I. Stuck with these thoughts and no one to turn to. It's miserable.

 

[ClippedWings]

Absolutely, I've been in double solitary confinement for 13 years.

 

[dontwakemeup]

We are in solitary confinement! We are only able to leave for work and straight back to our cells. Don't forget to take your medication