Usually we look at which mistakes we have caused. But I try to see it from another perspective in this thread. Maybe to think about this in this way could be seen as self-empowerment. We look at our skills and how we might can solve problems that seem to be too difficult.
I think I am unable to solve some core issues in my life. I still try to solve them and I fight against the odds. With my strategy I could solve some pretty difficult issues. so far It is rather unlikely that I can solve all of them in the future. But to fight anyway is kind of the defnition of fighting against the odds.
One main issues is to get a stable average income. (no welfare that is not enough). I turned crippling depressed when doing a 9 to 5 job. Today I attend part-time a university. It is an accomplishment if one considers how ill I am. My therapists consider this real progress. Well the last try backfired utterly so I consider it progress too. Especially because it neither made me crippling depressed nor manic nor psychotic.
I could solve some issues. The main ones were quitting medication with nasty side effects, improving my life quality, regain my sanity, making my severe agitation disappear (caused by major depression), fixing (to a certain degree) my social awkwardness.
So how have I done that? Well I tried, I tried and I tried. My first attempts all backfired though I kept on trying for several years.
First I wanted to quit my antipsychotic medication which caused a major relapse. Even after the relapse I still did not want to take it. Well the 2,5 years were an extreme pain because I just did not accept to take them. I gave up after this extreme torment. I had to face the decision committing suicide, staying extremely unstable and in severe pain or taking them. Well I made the right decision and took them. It was one of the best decision in the past and it was the premise for solving other issues.
To explain something: I mentioned I successfully quit another medication. It was a mood stablizer. The side effects were even way worse than of the antipsychotics. I already accepted the antipsychotics but I was not sure whether the mood stablizer did anything. The first time I tried to quit it I probably had the noncebo-fallacy. I pressured me to quit the medication and wanted it to make it very fast. I was very desperate when the side effect still lasted. It made me terribly depressed and I took it again (because of the fear lack of the mood stabilizer would have causd that.) I had way more patience the second time I tried it. I substituted the mood stabilizer and had close contact to my psychiatrist. The side effects wore off very slowly. They lasted a couple of months after I took it but finally vanished after that time.
So my suggestions are: Have patience, make only small steps, talk about it with your psychiatrist and the last one maybe give up when quitting a certain medication backfired a couple of times and ruined your life so far.
The antipsychotic medication gave me the stability in order to tackle my other issues. The severe depression and agitation went away after waiting a long time. I already gave up and thought it would last forever. I think if I took my medication earlier the depression probably would have improved earlier.
Therapists already gave up on me but I continued to fight. The time was hellish but so far life rewarded me for not having given up. After two therapists gave me up I searched for another one. I struggled a lot. I was desperate how to get a job because everything backfired so far. I did not believe I could attend college without relapsing. Though I still try it. All my fears were confirmed during the first weeks at college. My predictions were right and it induced manic symptoms. My support system wanted me that I kept trying. And after some horrible two months I became more stable. I never imagined that but it happened. It was a horrible ride but it got better.
At college I had more real life interactions. I became more used to social interactions again which slowly imrpoved my social awkwardness. Moreover these interactions and the antipsychotic medication fixed my sanity. My life quality got better because I have now more hope due to the fact I am able to attend college. My good grades give me self-esteem and the social interactions are good for me.
I think my approach was a systemic one. I analyzed with different therapists my problems. I analyzed which weaknesses or pathologies I have and which countermeasures are necessary. I had behavioral therapy (for the third time) and so far I benefited the most of that third try. I listened to different suggestions and perspectives and tried things out. I have a support network consisting of therapists, social worker, friends and family. It took huge amount of energy but I am glad for the better life quality I got so far.
I hope other people might can profit of this post. I want to give them some hope.
I think I am unable to solve some core issues in my life. I still try to solve them and I fight against the odds. With my strategy I could solve some pretty difficult issues. so far It is rather unlikely that I can solve all of them in the future. But to fight anyway is kind of the defnition of fighting against the odds.
One main issues is to get a stable average income. (no welfare that is not enough). I turned crippling depressed when doing a 9 to 5 job. Today I attend part-time a university. It is an accomplishment if one considers how ill I am. My therapists consider this real progress. Well the last try backfired utterly so I consider it progress too. Especially because it neither made me crippling depressed nor manic nor psychotic.
I could solve some issues. The main ones were quitting medication with nasty side effects, improving my life quality, regain my sanity, making my severe agitation disappear (caused by major depression), fixing (to a certain degree) my social awkwardness.
So how have I done that? Well I tried, I tried and I tried. My first attempts all backfired though I kept on trying for several years.
First I wanted to quit my antipsychotic medication which caused a major relapse. Even after the relapse I still did not want to take it. Well the 2,5 years were an extreme pain because I just did not accept to take them. I gave up after this extreme torment. I had to face the decision committing suicide, staying extremely unstable and in severe pain or taking them. Well I made the right decision and took them. It was one of the best decision in the past and it was the premise for solving other issues.
To explain something: I mentioned I successfully quit another medication. It was a mood stablizer. The side effects were even way worse than of the antipsychotics. I already accepted the antipsychotics but I was not sure whether the mood stablizer did anything. The first time I tried to quit it I probably had the noncebo-fallacy. I pressured me to quit the medication and wanted it to make it very fast. I was very desperate when the side effect still lasted. It made me terribly depressed and I took it again (because of the fear lack of the mood stabilizer would have causd that.) I had way more patience the second time I tried it. I substituted the mood stabilizer and had close contact to my psychiatrist. The side effects wore off very slowly. They lasted a couple of months after I took it but finally vanished after that time.
So my suggestions are: Have patience, make only small steps, talk about it with your psychiatrist and the last one maybe give up when quitting a certain medication backfired a couple of times and ruined your life so far.
The antipsychotic medication gave me the stability in order to tackle my other issues. The severe depression and agitation went away after waiting a long time. I already gave up and thought it would last forever. I think if I took my medication earlier the depression probably would have improved earlier.
Therapists already gave up on me but I continued to fight. The time was hellish but so far life rewarded me for not having given up. After two therapists gave me up I searched for another one. I struggled a lot. I was desperate how to get a job because everything backfired so far. I did not believe I could attend college without relapsing. Though I still try it. All my fears were confirmed during the first weeks at college. My predictions were right and it induced manic symptoms. My support system wanted me that I kept trying. And after some horrible two months I became more stable. I never imagined that but it happened. It was a horrible ride but it got better.
At college I had more real life interactions. I became more used to social interactions again which slowly imrpoved my social awkwardness. Moreover these interactions and the antipsychotic medication fixed my sanity. My life quality got better because I have now more hope due to the fact I am able to attend college. My good grades give me self-esteem and the social interactions are good for me.
I think my approach was a systemic one. I analyzed with different therapists my problems. I analyzed which weaknesses or pathologies I have and which countermeasures are necessary. I had behavioral therapy (for the third time) and so far I benefited the most of that third try. I listened to different suggestions and perspectives and tried things out. I have a support network consisting of therapists, social worker, friends and family. It took huge amount of energy but I am glad for the better life quality I got so far.
I hope other people might can profit of this post. I want to give them some hope.
. Inbox always open if you ever need a chat.
