Which traits are important for women on dating apps?

[noname223]

How important is height? My height is average. But I think my overall outer appearance is above average. Dating apps are so toxic for lonely men.

He has to go outside often. I think the most important thing is the first picture/ in general the pictures. He has to interested in something serious. And? Hobbies which ones are attractive?

 

[mattoman]

I'm not being helpful but I've read that "height don't matter" but I once talked to my female friend who said that "well you're tall and manly so that's always a plus". Then again, I look like a boogie man from children's books and have a shitty personality so fuck my height. Well, she's shallow anyway and one person is a bad sample anyway.

 

[Forever Sleep]

3 out of 5 of my crushes weren't much taller than me. (5ft 6inches.) In terms of what women find attractive, I think it varies greatly.

But, I think you should be yourself rather than trying to be what you think women want. How are you going to be happy if you're pretending to like something you don't? Guess it depends if you're just looking to hook up or, long-term date though.

I don't know really. I shouldn't be commenting. I've never done dating but all the lying seems off to me. (Not saying you are of course.) A guy I used to work with borrowed his friend's Mercede's to pose in front of for his profile picture and used to tell women he was something Exectutive in the company (he wasn't.) I'm sure women do it too of course. It's probably like CV's or aptitude tests. People lie to give themselves a chance I suppose.

 

[savory]

Depends on what kinds of women you're trying to attract and for what.

I think generally people tend to overlook attributes that aren't 'ideal' and focus in on the goods. You said you think you're above average so no worries about your height. If you aren't attracting anyone that appeals to you, try experimenting with your look and roll the dice. What fantasy for women could you play into? I don't think anyone has just one type they're attracted to.

As for hobbies, again, who are you looking to attract and what kind of activities do you want to do with a partner? Better to not fake any hobbies but be expressedly open to trying new things. Myself and many other women are attracted to men who like working with their hands, are creative and have practical skills and/or artistic abilities.

 

[me_when_:D]

I'm not being helpful but I've read that "height don't matter" but I once talked to my female friend who said that "well you're tall and manly so that's always a plus". Then again, I look like a boogie man from children's books and have a shitty personality so fuck my height. Well, she's shallow anyway and one person is a bad sample anyway.

I am 170 cm (5'8 i think), multiple female friends told me that height matters and in a hypothetical they would choose someone higher, but less jacked than me (around 12% body fat + a year into the gym)

3 out of 5 of my crushes weren't much taller than me. (5ft 6inches.) In terms of what women find attractive, I think it varies greatly.

But, I think you should be yourself rather than trying to be what you think women want. How are you going to be happy if you're pretending to like something you don't? Guess it depends if you're just looking to hook up or, long-term date though.

I don't know really. I shouldn't be commenting. I've never done dating but all the lying seems off to me. (Not saying you are of course.) A guy I used to work with borrowed his friend's Mercede's to pose in front of for his profile picture and used to tell women he was something Exectutive in the company (he wasn't.) I'm sure women do it too of course. It's probably like CV's or aptitude tests. People lie to give themselves a chance I suppose.

The lying thing is a tactic.
Often looks are a gateway to show personality. In a dating app it is much harder to show personality upfront than in real life, so these tactics could make sense in a dating app.

I think generally people tend to overlook attributes that aren't 'ideal' and focus in on the goods.

Is it possible to show muscles without it looking arrogant/shallow?
The issues is a strong, but low bodyfat body is easily hidden by clothes, but showing off a gym pic feels weird too

 

[3/4Dead]

shrug women are individual people lmfao. every woman will have a different preference. odd thing to try and cast a broad net to conclude what "all women" want.

I forget this is a forum founded by incels until stuff like this pops up. just gotta get out of your head about it, man. people who like you and want to be with you will come around, but not if you're busy sulking about how all women want a specific man or something.

I'm probably talking to the void, but nonetheless.

Well, she's shallow anyway and one person is a bad sample anyway.

This is also important, some people are just shallow people and there's nothing you can really do about that. still not enough information to deduce that you're undesireable to everyone ever

 

[me_when_:D]

shrug women are individual people lmfao. every woman will have a different preference. odd thing to try and cast a broad net to conclude what "all women" want.

I forget this is a forum founded by incels until stuff like this pops up. just gotta get out of your head about it, man. people who like you and want to be with you will come around, but not if you're busy sulking about how all women want a specific man or something.

I'm probably talking to the void, but nonetheless.



This is also important, some people are just shallow people and there's nothing you can really do about that. still not enough information to deduce that you're undesireable to everyone ever

Have you used dating apps?
They are usually not that easy on men.
Like IRL it would probably be different, but dating apps are just oversaturated with men

 

[Thisisnotaname]

 

[Forever Sleep]

The lying thing is a tactic.
Often looks are a gateway to show personality. In a dating app it is much harder to show personality upfront than in real life, so these tactics could make sense in a dating app.

Hmm, maybe but- this guy wasn't lying about his looks. He didn't need to. He was very attractive. He was pretending to be a wealthy executive in a company that drove a Mercedes!

To be fair- I kind of think women taken in by all that maybe deserve what they get but then, I'm old fashioned. I don't really like the whole shallowness of people going for each other based on looks or wealth. (Hypocritical though seeing as I've tended to fancy attractive men. I haven't expected to have a chance with them though. Just admired them from afar.)

Maybe you could argue that that type of guy is only going for looks though (he likely would be.) And, he's lying to attract them- effectively, bed them. Maybe his own looks would be enough but he's also pretending to be wealthy. Still again- fine if sex is all she wants.

Again- not to say women don't do it too. I'm certain they do. I doubt this guy cared much about personality though. He was an absolute player! Threesomes with a relative supposedly. The lot. Lol. Whatever though- consenting adults and all that.

I'm such a prude anyway. It's a different world to me. I think people are brave that do online dating. I couldn't cope with the rejection, or if some miracle someone gave me a chance, the possibility I might want to reject them.

 

[me_when_:D]

Hmm, maybe but- this guy wasn't lying about his looks. He didn't need to. He was very attractive. He was pretending to be a wealthy executive in a company that drove a Mercedes!

To be fair- I kind of think women taken in by all that maybe deserve what they get but then, I'm old fashioned. I don't really like the whole shallowness of people going for each other based on looks or wealth. (Hypocritical though seeing as I've tended to fancy attractive men. I haven't expected to have a chance with them though. Just admired them from afar.)

Maybe you could argue that that type of guy is only going for looks though (he likely would be.) And, he's lying to attract them- effectively, bed them. Maybe his own looks would be enough but he's also pretending to be wealthy. Still again- fine if sex is all she wants.

Again- not to say women don't do it too. I'm certain they do. I doubt this guy cared much about personality though. He was an absolute player! Threesomes with a relative supposedly. The lot. Lol. Whatever though- consenting adults and all that.

I'm such a prude anyway. It's a different world to me. I think people are brave that do online dating. I couldn't cope with the rejection, or if some miracle someone gave me a chance, the possibility I might want to reject them.

yeah, I fear dating apps too, I have met a lot of people in my city and they could find my profile there, which feels spooky!
Admiring from afar is so real.
Oh and some people just lie to lie I guess

 

[Privateer2368]

To women?

Height and money.

For women?

Be young, slim and pretty. We don't read profiles because most women never put anything interesting in them. We pick based on looks because that's all there is.

 

[3/4Dead]

Have you used dating apps?
They are usually not that easy on men.
Like IRL it would probably be different, but dating apps are just oversaturated with men

Yeah, I'm on quite a few dating apps lol. With quite a bit of success too. I'm not saying that nobody is shallow or picky or anything simply expressing something I noticed.

 

[miyabi]

How important is height? My height is average. But I think my overall outer appearance is above average. Dating apps are so toxic for lonely men.

He has to go outside often. I think the most important thing is the first picture/ in general the pictures. He has to interested in something serious. And? Hobbies which ones are attractive?

I guess dating apps are pretty superficial especially when it comes to objective things like height. I've heard from short colleagues that it's a really harsh experience for them.

It might not resonate with the incel crowd but I think regardless of your gifts in appearance you'll struggle if you have genuine mental issues. So I think serious mental illness is as bad if not worse than physical traits.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

It can depend a lot on the app and location. I've dated in big cities and rural areas and there's a vast difference between them.

In the rural area I just posted a decent photo and basic info and got some matches. It was also easier to progress from match to chat to date. There just isn't the same level of competition, and rural people are often more sociable.

In big cities there are a lot more potential matches, but competition is a huge factor. Women will be overwhelmed with guys almost guaranteed, so you need to stand out. It can help to use an app specialized for a demographic you fit with. I used a site that attracted more of the liberal, LGBQT+, intellectual crowd and put together a profile with a large number of interests, photos, quotes, music I liked, etc... I also had a more basic profile on an app specifically for non-monogomous people. My photos are good quality and show a variety of activities. That was enough to get me enough matches too meet people, even though it wasn't as much as I would have liked. My main downside is I'm autistic, so I'm not as good at knowing what to say on dates as most guys are.

Out of women I met on dating sites that progressed to actual relationships, some of the things on my profile that led to us matching were: that I play violin, that I skateboard, that I was interested in science and higher education, that I was a snowboarder. Basically women want to see that you have interests and activities that excite them and they can relate to.