Method Where Would You Attach The Rope?

[ihatepain]

So for partial hanging which is what most recommend, where would you attach the rope to? Im a fat piece of shit and I don't want to attach the rope to a doorknob cuz the doorknob would definitely break. I prefer to do it outside my house anyways but what object outside is going to be strong enough and secluded enough to attach the rope to? Arrrgh... I can't think

 

[Jumper]

What about a good old fashioned tree branch?

 

[ihatepain]

What about a good old fashioned tree branch?

Not strong enough + I am afraid if wild animals hide in the tree. I hate nature and I hate lizards etc. Any other suggestions?