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stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
759
I can't do it at home because I don't want my wife to find my body, or find me and save me. I think it will have to be in my car. I am terrified of someone finding me too early. I was thinking of going to a rural residential area at the beginning of the night, that way it won't look suspicious that I am parked there and I will be far enough from houses that nobody will hear me…that or a parking lot somewhere by the woods but I'm afraid my car will look suspicious somewhere secluded and a cop could find me. It will have to be overnight. I am still trying to figure out when because I can't go anywhere for that long without my wife knowing, so I'll have to come up with a lie or just be very sneaky.

Thoughts?
 
DarkRose

DarkRose

dark rose
Nov 25, 2022
169
Hey, How about a motel? I don't know what lies you can tell your wife but motels are pretty cheap and your guaranteed no one will find you.
 
stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
759
Hey, How about a motel? I don't know what lies you can tell your wife but motels are pretty cheap and your guaranteed no one will find you.
That's a thought…I've seen stories about other guests hearing noises though when the body is dying which is scary. Also I would rather die in my car because it's at least mine/comforting. I'm just so scared I'm going to be found before I'm dead and I cannot continue to live after that.

I also would like to traumatize the least amount of people as possible.
 
DarkRose

DarkRose

dark rose
Nov 25, 2022
169
That's a thought…I've seen stories about other guests hearing noises though when the body is dying which is scary. Also I would rather die in my car because it's at least mine/comforting. I'm just so scared I'm going to be found before I'm dead and I cannot continue to live after that.

I also would like to traumatize the least amount of people as possible.
A car could work, you would just need to find a place where your sure no one will find you. That's the challenging part.
 
stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
759
I wanted to try one more time to figure out a way to live. My therapist wants me to do a partial hospitalization program and I finally agreed. I can't start it until next Thursday. I haven't been to work all week. I've been simmering in my depression. I don't want to try anymore. The only "help" is to go to the hospital which just makes everything worse. I don't even know my wife's work schedule because it's never set so I don't know how I'm either going to get through these days or figure out when and where to go to have the SN. I am freaking out. It hurts so badly.

I wanted to try to stay until after January 7th to celebrate my wife's birthday. Now I really don't know how I'm going to do that.
 

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