Discussion Where to draw the line? - crazy or CRAZY

[TowerUpright]

I'm depressed. As are a lot of people. I'm also in-the-closet suicidal. As I'm planning my CTB day, I had a question pop in my head that I think warrants an answer. One I don't think I have an answer for.

Where do you draw the line with suicidal ideations that, on one side, you're depressed but can think clearly and making a choice to CTB rationally. And the other side is that you are legitimately mentally ill, not making sane choices, and you need mental health professionals to straighten you out?

I think I'm on the first side, but, I'm asking myself, how do I know that it isn't just my depression fucking with me??

I'd love to hear insights and opinions!

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Imo if you need "mental to straighten you out" in the first then it´s completely rational to want to kill yourself, most people with depression and/or suicidal thoughts etc. have had it since their early teens so it´s not just a phase it´s how your life is from that moment on so nothing irrational or crazy about wanting to end the suffering you have dealt with for years if not decades.

On the other hand if you have only dealt with depression for a few weeks then it might just be a phase because it´s not how you always were, take me for example I have been suicidal since I was 14 and I am 25 now so it´s over 11 years I have suffered and it´s only getting worse with each passing year it´s literally my life and not something that can be cured so it´s actually more crazy to go on living well knowing that things will never get better.

 

[Haku]

Imo if you need "mental to straighten you out" in the first then it´s completely rational to want to kill yourself, most people with depression and/or suicidal thoughts etc. have had it since their early teens so it´s not just a phase it´s how your life is from that moment on so nothing irrational or crazy about wanting to end the suffering you have dealt with for years if not decades.

On the other hand if you have only dealt with depression for a few weeks then it might just be a phase because it´s not how you always were, take me for example I have been suicidal since I was 14 and I am 25 now so it´s over 11 years I have suffered and it´s only getting worse with each passing year it´s literally my life and not something that can be cured so it´s actually more crazy to go on living well knowing that things will never get better.

Kind of my state of mind as well

 

[SinisterKid]

After well over 12 months in therapy the mental health team [psychiatrist, support worker, Occupational Health Worker, Crisis Team, GP and the CMHT] I was formerly discharged from their care and officially classed as "stable". Now that is subjective and ambiguous. But lets suppose they were correct in their assessments.

2 years on from that time, I still have a lot of ideation going on. I had a really deep bout of depression about 4 months ago which took all I had to get through and it was very much touch and go for a couple of weeks.

Today I think, I believe, I am about as rational as I am ever likely to be. Yet the ideation is still very much there. I have my method and all I need to achieve a peaceful death. I am calm, calmer than I have been in a very long time. But I also know and accept, that at some point, I will end my own life at a time and place of my choosing. I have made my peace with that choice. I believe it to be a rational choice, a very well informed choice.

I have a few long term health problems and disability, which does make the decision a little easier to make. But they are not the sole reasons for me wanting to take my own life. Those reasons are my own, deeply personal and are not open for discussion.

Do I come across as crazy?

 

[TowerUpright]

Imo if you need "mental to straighten you out" in the first then it´s completely rational to want to kill yourself, most people with depression and/or suicidal thoughts etc. have had it since their early teens so it´s not just a phase it´s how your life is from that moment on so nothing irrational or crazy about wanting to end the suffering you have dealt with for years if not decades.

On the other hand if you have only dealt with depression for a few weeks then it might just be a phase because it´s not how you always were, take me for example I have been suicidal since I was 14 and I am 25 now so it´s over 11 years I have suffered and it´s only getting worse with each passing year it´s literally my life and not something that can be cured so it´s actually more crazy to go on living well knowing that things will never get better.

My first suicide attempt was in when I was 8. Yep. This has been going on and off for decades.

Do I come across as crazy?

No, I don't think you're crazy, by my definition. It sounds Chronic to me..

Thank you for sharing.

 

[CursedForDisaster]

I'm depressed. As are a lot of people. I'm also in-the-closet suicidal. As I'm planning my CTB day, I had a question pop in my head that I think warrants an answer. One I don't think I have an answer for.

Where do you draw the line with suicidal ideations that, on one side, you're depressed but can think clearly and making a choice to CTB rationally. And the other side is that you are legitimately mentally ill, not making sane choices, and you need mental health professionals to straighten you out?

I think I'm on the first side, but, I'm asking myself, how do I know that it isn't just my depression fucking with me??

I'd love to hear insights and opinions!

I feel like I'm both, like Jeckle and Hyde. I've been wondering if I have a form of bipolar. Some days I'm normal, other days I'm a dissociated monster