resteasy3232

resteasy3232

x_x
Nov 18, 2024
59
honestly, i see myself either dead or just existing until that moment comes. i don't believe my life will improve. while i've never been suicidal or harmed myself in any way, ever since my girlfriend passed, i feel overwhelmed with despair and guilt. all i want to do is sleep, and the thought of ctb crosses my mind more than i'd like to admit. the only things that keeps me from ctb is my cat, my family, and my brother. they're the reasons i cant, i wish no one cared whether i lived or died. i hope to live alone soon, but part of me just wants to ctb now. i often wish i could turn back time and make different choices to fix my life, but that's not possible.
 
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chocosyrup

chocosyrup

disillusioned
Nov 3, 2023
106
I'm not sure, either dead or doing my GP training program to become a qualified GP.
 
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L'absent

L'absent

À ma manière 🪦
Aug 18, 2024
767
Yes, it's terrible when you lose the person you love. Did she disappear recently? I really don't see myself in 4 years.
 
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resteasy3232

resteasy3232

x_x
Nov 18, 2024
59
Yes, it's terrible when you lose the person you love. Did she disappear recently? I really don't see myself in 4 years.
Yes, last month she passed.
 
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Mirrory Me

Mirrory Me

"More then your eyes can see..."
Mar 23, 2023
1,138
I don't know either, it's a long trip and I don't currently have super hype feelings about it. But in a different place I assume.
 
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S

SVEN

Enlightened
Apr 3, 2023
1,825
Hopefully I won't be around to be seen by myself, or anyone else.
 
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LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
267
Hopefully dead. But who knows I'm not really good with going through with plans, I thought I would be dead by now.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,769
Hopefully dead / not existing forever
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,264
I'd be heavily surprised if the world is even habitable for us to live in 4 years time. Either way, I hope that I manage to die before that happens but I haven't been so fortunate with regards to a suicide method
 
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Alcoholic Teletubby

Alcoholic Teletubby

Rip in piss
Jan 10, 2022
400
God, I hope I'll be dead. As much as I've built up the desire to keep living, I also can't perceive there being much of a point in doing so.

Nothing will change; it's always the same.
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
397
If I'm not dead then I've probably won the lottery. Even then I'm probably dead.
 
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helloandbye1

helloandbye1

joy division - atmosphere
Nov 30, 2024
33
dead for sure.
 
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ShatteredSerenity

ShatteredSerenity

I talk to God, but the sky is empty.
Nov 24, 2024
122
I'll be ashes and memories by that point, unless something terrible happens and I survive.
 
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PI3.14

PI3.14

Looking at my grave
Oct 4, 2024
84
I'll be long gone and nothing but ashes since I'm planning to ctb in Jan
 
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dontwakemeup

dontwakemeup

Experienced
Nov 11, 2024
295
DEAD!
 
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G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,630
Don't want to be here then , it isn't worth it , but if fail to ctb then...….. even worse than I am now. Definitely not even the same.... nor any better.
 
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WeDontKnowTheFuture

WeDontKnowTheFuture

Student
Feb 3, 2023
161
I do not know and cannot imagine, i Just hope that my suffering will be less intense
 
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N

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
404
I never have an answer to these type of questions. Even when I was a kid. It's because I've never had any ambitions or goals. My first thought is to say dead and while that's true I have no idea if I will have the guts to ever do it. I never imagined being this old, but then I also never imagined CTB to be as difficult as it is.
If I am still alive, things can only have gone downhill by then. So probably I'll just be miserable.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,307
Hopefully dead but if not rotting in bed still
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,264
Why do you say so?
I should clarify beforehand that I'm just taking this with a grain of salt but I'm basing this off what the professor Guy Mcpherson is talking about in his videos. Within climate change discussions, I tend to see people talk about how anthropogenic climate change could potentially cause extinction via loss of habitat at around 2050 or around 2100 but mcpherson argues that it would happen much earlier than that. He's just a messenger per se who refers to a lot of scientific work to display his message.

Anyways, I'm not going to use this as a factor of me living or wanting to ctb (and I suggest that anybody else here also doesn't consider this as their reason to ctb) as I'm just taking this with a grain of salt. After all, there were a bunch of people saying that the arctic would be ice free at a certain year in the past (the latest being 2022) and we're almost in 2025 so obviously that didn't come to fruition https://humanprogress.org/is-the-arctic-ice-about-to-disappear/.

Nonetheless, I still would be surprised if the world is still habitable in 4 years time but, honestly, I hope that I don't even stay alive for 4 years longer in the first place.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,034
I personally only hope to cease existing and never suffer ever again, existence just feels like a terrible mistake to me, it's something deeply undesirable that I'd never wish for that I see as just causing so much suffering, personally I'd always prefer to die than suffer in this existence all for the sake of it, I just have no interest in suffering in this existence and I see existing as deeply undesirable.

I'd never wish to be conscious in this existence but rather I just want nothingness instead, I only hope for an eternal, dreamless sleep where this existence is finally no longer my problem and I can be at peace. What appeals to me about ceasing to exist is that it's permanent and if I'm gone then I cannot suffer in any way but more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, to me existence is an abomination, I see existence as pointless unnecessary suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, it's all just so terrible to me and I suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to painlessly cease existing in peace and never exist ever again.
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

Waiting for my next window of opportunity
Mar 9, 2024
1,048
I should clarify beforehand that I'm just taking this with a grain of salt but I'm basing this off what the professor Guy Mcpherson is talking about in his videos. Within climate change discussions, I tend to see people talk about how anthropogenic climate change could potentially cause extinction via loss of habitat at around 2050 or around 2100 but mcpherson argues that it would happen much earlier than that. He's just a messenger per se who refers to a lot of scientific work to display his message.

Anyways, I'm not going to use this as a factor of me living or wanting to ctb (and I suggest that anybody else here also doesn't consider this as their reason to ctb) as I'm just taking this with a grain of salt. After all, there were a bunch of people saying that the arctic would be ice free at a certain year in the past (the latest being 2022) and we're almost in 2025 so obviously that didn't come to fruition https://humanprogress.org/is-the-arctic-ice-about-to-disappear/.

Nonetheless, I still would be surprised if the world is still habitable in 4 years time but, honestly, I hope that I don't even stay alive for 4 years longer in the first place.
I personally would take that claim with several heaping tablespoons of salt lol. Climate is not weather -- the timescales we're dealing with here are totally different. Even with the gargantuan amounts of CO2 we're pumping into the atmosphere, change comes only slowly and is typically (though not always) not detectable anecdotally within a human being's lifespan. Rather, trends are detected through data over many decades and, preferably, centuries. I'd suggest checking out Roger Pielke.
 
SoulWhisperer

SoulWhisperer

Careless Soul « MtF »
Nov 13, 2023
359
4 years from now, I hope dead, just not on the fucking streets... Sigh.
 
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Gone soon

Gone soon

Guy who likes wearing womens' clothes
Jun 11, 2024
144
Dead. It's as simple as that
 
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untothedepths

untothedepths

ego death, then death
Mar 20, 2023
593
i hope dead and left the mother fuck alone
 
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uselessflesh

uselessflesh

夜は自己嫌悪で忙しい
Oct 31, 2024
44
drowning in loneliness
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,952
I really hope I'm dead by then. If I'm not, I'll likely be in exactly the same position that I'm in now or, something worse. I want to wait for my Dad to go first.
 
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