Venting When your worse enemy is yourself

[dospi1]

Not long ago i was playing this wonderfull game celeste, in that gmae theres a scene that resonates whit me "if all this things are in my head, thean why are all of them trying so hard to kill me" how are you suppoused to fifght yourself??? Every day every hour, i keep making myself feel like shit, shame and sadness is the only things ive ever felt n 2 years. I no longer have any rest not even sleeping helps now for i cant sleep more than 4 houra and when i do i have horrible nightmares. I really want to enjoy live, and when some how i manage to escape my own toughts i can see a bit of what normal people are like, normal people that domt wake up felling lile shit, and doesnt feel all day ashmed of themselfs. And it hurts it hurts so much, i fell lilke im inches away from the surfes and when i finaly manage to take breath rhw current pulls me even further down. How im i suppoused to win a figth against myself? I can only hope for i can ctb soon so this pain would end
Im sorry for this rant i just need to tell someone how i feel :C

 

[Darkover]

Either we make sweeping changes in how we live on the planet now, or we accept our fate.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living is painful as there is no escape from ourselves and our thoughts. It sounds like you are going through a lot, life is just so horrible. I hope you find peace.