When would you have died if you could die simply by overwhelming, extreme mental pain?

[noname223]

I was abused as a child and severely bullied as teenager. With 15 a mixed manic-depressive episode started with daily suicidal thoughts.
However, nothing is comparable with the pain after my psychosis. The crash from mania into depression was unimaginable. The first time with 18. The second time with 20. I might crash a third time soon and it will be the last time. My manic symptoms are so fucking scary.

The pain with 18 was so extreme. The abuse and bullying itself was nothing in comparison. But the mental pain and the extreme psychosomatic pain. I was not even aware people can experience such extreme pain. And I think many average people are not aware of it.

 

[Rockman]

Fancy dreams and Christmas is still far away.
Human brain is designed to survive anything extreme. He has a thousand special ways to deal with mental pain.

To answer the question probably during early childhood. When all the primary causes of subsequent brain damage occured.

 

[Csmith8827]

Fancy dreams and Christmas is still far away.
Human brain is designed to survive anything extreme. He has a thousand special ways to deal with mental pain.

To answer the question probably during early childhood. When all the primary causes of subsequent brain damage occured.

Your still around? We interacted ages ago when I'd acquired my SN. I've ditched that batch due to airplanes and COVID but it's crazy your alive still. We should chat and try to catch up...

In response to the question NEVER. I'm a black man and I ain't no bitch. Not in the way your thinking. I'm a real nigga. Them white people may go like that but black don't crack.

 

[Trav1989]

I would have ended myself about a year ago at 33 when I knew things would either stay the same or never improve. Probably around last Thanksgiving if I were to be more specific.

 

[ame03]

August 2020. The love of my life couldn't deal with my extreme and overwhelming anxiety that he was going to overdose. All I could do is cry and hover and beg. I narcaned him one night when i found him passed out on the toilet for the hundredth time and we were over. He is clean now and we still talk but I don't deserve a second chance sober.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

Probably the day a few months ago where my parents did something that broke me so much I would've been about to (unsuccessfully) jump. The mental pain alone was enough to paralyze me for a good 30m on my bed.

 

[AbsurdAbyss]

2 years ago when i ruined my whole life because i couldn't take the pain anymore - i have no one, nothing left to live for anymore and my suffering has only gotten worse. Dying then would've been a blessing, dying now would be a mercy.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Age 10 when I was intensley grieving for 3 close family members who had died by then and being bullied by a (suspected) narcissist. It's a strange comfort that I doubt I'll ever feel as bad as that again. (Hopefully.)

 

[rozeske]

In response to the question NEVER. I'm a black man and I ain't no bitch. Not in the way your thinking. I'm a real nigga. Them white people may go like that but black don't crack.

What the actual fuck?!?!? What does this even mean? I can't choose a reaction between shock, laughter, anger, disbelief....I am so confused. The fuck?

 

[finallydone]

i'd say april of last year, which was the second month of a four-month long major depressive episode, i was thinking about suicide every single minute of the day, but in my head i was like "if i could survive this i could survive anything else since it's the worst pain i had to endure", but it turns out even after surviving that i'm still the same

 

[Trav1989]

What the actual fuck?!?!? What does this even mean? I can't choose a reaction between shock, laughter, anger, disbelief....I am so confused. The fuck?

For real

 

[Rockman]

Your still around? We interacted ages ago when I'd acquired my SN. I've ditched that batch due to airplanes and COVID but it's crazy your alive still. We should chat and try to catch up...

Nice to see you!
Hell Dinosaurs.
Yeah im horsing around But typical i was nurturing my love.
I try to grow weed outdoor in summer so that I can be comfortable numb in severe depression in the winter.

I'm a black man and I ain't no bitch. Not in the way your thinking. I'm a real nigga. Them white people may go like that but black don't crack.

I know the reason for this shit.
I didn't know you were black.

As a child, I always wanted to have a black friend.
I already felt the burden of racism and was simply ashamed of my then all-white country so I didn't find a friend.
Now I'm an adult and I don't give a damn about skin color but let's make my childhood dream come true!
Feel free to write to me brother what's going on in your scene.

I am white and so pale that the moon is ashamed. I suspect that I crack like condoms.

 

[huntermellow]

it's hard to say since every year has been bad but these past 4 have been the worst… not sure if i should say 2021 or early 2022 or may last year or autumn/winter of last year or every month from this year. this year has probably been the worst i think. but it's so hard to compare when i've forgotten most of what i've been through or exactly how i felt in the past. i just know i felt horrible

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Probably when I was a child in school. I deal with a lot of mental pain all the time because I'm mentally weak and have an overactive mind. I've been like this ever since I started school

 

[AnonThinker]

As a school goer. Gr0 - Gr12. I was bullied all through school.
The next time was in 2014 when I was on the verge of doing it. But my mom noticed how truly fucked I was due to depression and helped me.

That's why now, I won't ctb until my mom passes.

 

[Bleneviola]

When I was 18. Actually, when I was 14 and had my first stint with anorexia.

 

[kneegrow_voids]

In response to the question NEVER. I'm a black man and I ain't no bitch. Not in the way your thinking. I'm a real nigga. Them white people may go like that but black don't crack.

what the fuck lol

 

[Darkover]

when i was 18 after a 2 and half year relationship breakup heartbreak set in and existential dread set in after i became suicidal and thought i am nothing forever