Either Dec 25, 26, or 27. I really should not wait longer than this. I almost did it on Dec 20 but felt terrified (my method is muzzleloader to the brainstem through the mouth). I've been smoking tons of crystal meth over the last few days, to the point where I now have to stop to come down because my body can not handle anymore. Hopefully tomorrow I will be ready to start up again; I should have plenty of crystal to last me through the 27th and during that time using I was actually thinking of writing a note. Something easy. I would probably really overthink it if I tried writing one sober. At least meth adds some vividness to my thinking, and the point of my using it is to help me feel more brave and willing to kill myself.
Well, I better do it. I already quit both my jobs and have destroyed my health significantly. I'm young enough to recover. But I lost between 15-20 pounds just since Dec 20. I probably only had 3 small meals between that time and now.
I will try to write a goodbye post on here as well, something I thought I wouldn't do (why get yourself banned???). That way maybe if a few people wish me luck on the post I will feel like I have a few people rooting for me to muster the courage to pull the trigger.