Venting WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN

[Unattainable666]

We live in a world that is so cold and cruel you would think I would have learned a long time ago but I haven't. My stupidity continues throughout my life. Why would I ever think that I would find that person who could care? I'm old enough to know better but it's something I've never learned. It's like if you touch a hot pot do you keep going back and touching it? Well, evidently I do. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't belong in this world. I've overstayed my welcome. The people who love me are gone - dead. That's where I need to be. I'm tired of seeing a sliver of hope and hanging on so hard that I choke myself with it. Sorry so cryptic and rambling. Once again SS is the only place where I am understood. I'm so grateful you all are here. Forgive this stupid woman for rambling on.

 

[Pluto]

I never learned either. I have always gone into hiding, then the loneliness would become so unbearable that I would try and connect with people again, only to then resume hiding again after the latest dismal failure. Quite a painful cycle. Wish I had something constructive to offer.

 

[Unattainable666]

I never learned either. I have always gone into hiding, then the loneliness would become so unbearable that I would try and connect with people again, only to then resume hiding again after the latest dismal failure. Quite a painful cycle. Wish I had something constructive to offer.

Thank you. Your post and support mean a lot to me.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

We live in a world that is so cold and cruel you would think I would have learned a long time ago but I haven't. My stupidity continues throughout my life. Why would I ever think that I would find that person who could care? I'm old enough to know better but it's something I've never learned. It's like if you touch a hot pot do you keep going back and touching it? Well, evidently I do. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't belong in this world. I've overstayed my welcome. The people who love me are gone - dead. That's where I need to be. I'm tired of seeing a sliver of hope and hanging on so hard that I choke myself with it. Sorry so cryptic and rambling. Once again SS is the only place where I am understood. I'm so grateful you all are here. Forgive this stupid woman for rambling on.

Eventually when you keep going to the pot you gain a tolerance towards it where it doesn't hurt anymore. Just becoming numb. Just cause your old enough doesn't mean you healed because you child hood was token away at a young age. When a plant dies another grows and will continue to thrive until it meets its fate. Point is life goes on as for me I'm still struggling to accept the harsh reality. I go on this site and it gives me mental clarity that I won't ever be judged and be related to on a personal level. Like a family to me.

 

[Unattainable666]

Eventually when you keep going to the pot you gain a tolerance towards it where it doesn't hurt anymore. Just becoming numb. Just cause your old enough doesn't mean you healed because you child hood was token away at a young age. When a plant dies another grows and will continue to thrive until it meets its fate. Point is life goes on as for me I'm still struggling to accept the harsh reality. I go on this site and it gives me mental clarity that I won't ever be judged and be related to on a personal level. Like a family to me.

I understand how you feel.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

I never learned either. I have always gone into hiding, then the loneliness would become so unbearable that I would try and connect with people again, only to then resume hiding again after the latest dismal failure. Quite a painful cycle. Wish I had something constructive to offer.

Same here it's such a bad habit I'm wondering will I forever be like this.

 

[Forever Sleep]

You're not stupid at all. Or- if you are, then I'd say a lot of us are with you. But it's natural to want to form deep and meaningful connections with people. Especially when you feel like you have so much love to give. It's sad that so many of us will die alone.

 

[Unattainable666]

You're not stupid at all. Or- if you are, then I'd say a lot of us are with you. But it's natural to want to form deep and meaningful connections with people. Especially when you feel like you have so much love to give. It's sad that so many of us will die alone.

Thank you for your understanding. And you're right it is sad that so many will die alone - I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself but I'm in that group. There will be no one who will even notice I'm gone, but I guess that's just the cards I was dealt.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see myself as not belonging in this world filled with endless cruelty, I could never desire to exist here and it's dreadful how humans just create so much harm, to me humans are the worst species, I think that most are too self centred to ever care anyway.