When was the last time u SH and what did you use?

[Blue&Grey]

I am curious about when people use to self harm so i can get new insights - If you are comfortable with sharing :

When was the last time you self harmed and why? Do you keep track on an app?

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

How does it make you feel?

My responses :

I self harmed a few days ago i want to start using an app to track it i stopped for a while when i was in a relationship but since then sometimes i do it. I normally do it when i start to think a lot or am very sad. Recently i try taking some pills so i don't do it to often again.

I use needles , I used a razon once before and it like felt like it electrocuted me and i never really used it since but maybe i go back to it, but needles i like them i only have one and yes i do use it more times don't worry never got an infection or anything my body is ok but its hard to acquire here in the UK back in Spain and Romania its easy but in the UK they don't give them to you.

It stops me thinking. I think if I went deeper I would probs feel more relaxed but right now its ok i still have marks and for me i only like doing it on the left side of my body anyone else share that or something similar ?

As well do you think that depending on how deep you go you mentally more fucked up i remember back in the day some years ago someone told me like you don't go that deep and it kinda hurt back then have you experienced that? Do you believe in deeper means something?

This is my first ever post thank you for reading this far and i hope your day is not that terrible if it is please try do something to make it better, eat some junk food or game or something else.

 

[avalokitesvara]

When was the last time you self harmed and why? Do you keep track on an app?

A couple of weeks ago. I don't keep track on an app. I do it pretty seldom and can remember the incidents of all of my scars. I had a spate of SHing about once a week in October/November. Before that I hadn't done it in about 8 years. I first started when I was 13/14 so nearly 20 years ago.

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

Razor, accessible, sharp. I used to prefer broken glass. I'm not particularly bothered about certain categories like styro/beans, I just want to satisfy the vision I have in my mind. The pain's not important, it's the wound itself and the blood I'm interested in. Sometimes a razor hurts, sometimes it doesn't.

How does it make you feel?

I feel satisfied and peaceful, fuzzy, a little high, relaxed. The urge to do it is fulfilled, normally I feel very distressed and agitated with a strong urge to cut before, so it's a similar feeling to satisfying an addiction maybe. Sometimes I feel numb before then more alive afterwards, sometimes I feel too much before then numb afterwards. I think I prefer the numb feeling. I enjoy looking at the wounds and the blood. I always have very specific visions of what I want to do and where, so it pleases me to make that come true. I like observing the healing process, caring for the wound, and watching the scar form. I like knowing they will be on my body forever. I usually prefer cutting left side too, that's funny. My right arm is my only scar-free limb.

Sometimes I feel instinctive SI if the cut is deep or looks like it might get infected and get a bit scared. Recently I cut kind of deep compared to what I usually do and got a bit lightheaded. Mostly I like feeling like I'm violating some life-affirming principal. It makes me feel like I'm moving towards being dead, going against the force and logic of life. I like seeing wounds and blood on me, looking like a corpse in a way. I really really like seeing blood flowing. It's better when I'm not eating, too.

I haven't had the urge for several weeks and probably won't SH now again for a long time. I've added to my "collection" and had experiences that felt satisfying, so I'm good for now. It's definitely not a habit or compulsion, but a very deliberate act for me. When I cut for the first time recently after 8 years it took several days of the urge growing until I decided I wanted to stop resisting and do it. I'm glad I did.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The last time I SHed was on Sunday and I used a small boxcutter/utility knife to do it. I only gave myself some catscratches on my right thigh since that is all I can get away with for now since my mom is aware of my SH. I hate it because I want to try cutting deeper again but now I have to plan it out carefully to avoid getting caught.

 

[mattoman]

I guess I passively (or well, kinda actively) sh. I usually just drink or do other shit to make my life worse. Ie get in bad relationships or gamble or whatever. I once tried cutting, wasn't my thing. I hated the scars that luckily weren't too deep and it wasn't really my thing anyway.

 

[Namelesa]

Last time I self harmed was on Sunday when I felt intense guilt about some of the thoughts I have and so cut myself to punish myself for having those thoughts. I don't really keep track of it cus for me I don't care about stopping it as I don't mind having scars. I also do it to relieve anxiety, emptiness or other intense emotional pain.

I use a blade which I took out of a razor so that it is more effective. I like doing deeper cuts to make scars to show others that I am in pain and lighter ones to cause more of a stinging pain that lasts a while to distract and get through the painful emotions as well as relax.

 

[johnthefishermann]

For me, the last time I cut myself was Saturday. I cut myself because I can't properly deal with my emotions. Cutting myself helps me feel numb and makes it so I don't have to worry about the emotional mess in my head. Last saturday was a particularly bad day, and I'd already had a pretty shitty week, so I broke down and cut myself. I used a stanley knife.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's very rare that I self harm. It probably is self harm though- because it hurts! The last time was literally maybe two years ago. I whacked my head with a piece of wood! For me, It's mostly because I've done something utterly stupid (usually work related) and I'm furious with myself. It was sort of a relief to do it but then, I just got a headache (and a lump on my head.)

I try to resist the urge to hit and slap myself in the face quite a bit. It's never gone much further than that though. I'm actually very squemish so, cutting is out. If I hurt myself accidentally though, there's a weird part of me that enjoys the expression of feeling pain as an outward expression of some of the upset inside.

I'm guessing that's why it is a relief for people. I feel like I can understand the feelings behind it but I'm not sure it would help me in the long-run if I got into it. Like anything really- alcohol, drugs. I reckon I'd just get addicted. I'm sort of lucky maybe also that my predominant unhappy emotion isn't usually intense enough to crave it. Most of the time, I'm just exceedingly fed up!

 

[CutToRelease]

Reading all of these made my wrist and left arm tinge.

I use a box cutter blade or any one of my many knifes.

Last time was like a day ago was going to cut early this day but reading all these post was a decent distraction funnel enough.

I do it cause the pain is distracting and it grounds me. It lets me know that I am in the skin and flesh that I see in the mirror even when it feels like I'm not really there. And at times if for no reason other than it has become natural. To have healing scars i have really every had times where all my scars are 100% healed.

 

[yowai]

When I was forced to stay in a mental hospital a year ago, I was in withdrawal and felt so trapped I thought I was gonna commit while in there lol. I broke a plastic pen that a doc gave me and did a few jabs on my thighs with it because I obviously didn't have better options

 

[ramon]

Can somebody please tell me if my case belongs to SH?:

Last time: Last night (January 1st, 2025)

Do I keep track of my SH events?: NO

Method: I beat a wall (palms, fists, elbows) until pain is no longer tolerable.

How does it make me feel?: PARTIALLY relieved of the anger caused by whatever past memory that randomly hit my mind.

For this particular case, it was about a 3 decade old memory of a person who overkilled in correcting me for a mistake I made. He verbally abused me, coerced me into not sharing my artistic (and eccentric) view of life, and walked away like a vigilante who had just defeated some kind of crime.

This kind of memories hit me without any request from me.

 

[Forveleth]

When was the last time you self harmed and why?
It was months ago, I can not even remember. I did it because I was overwhelmed with my severe depression. I have been using other coping mechanisms lately but I think self harm is close to coming back around in the rotation.

Do you keep track on an app?
There is an app for this? Interesting. Obviously I do not use one.

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?
I started with scratching as a teen (I actually have very sharp nails) and naturally graduated to something sharper as I got older. Since I always have a pocket knife on me, it is an easy choice. I sharpen it before or after every session.

How does it make you feel?
It gives me relief from depression. The pain gives me something to focus on and shuts off my emotions. I guess it numbs me as others have said. It is nice to have the residual cuts on my legs as I can slap them for a quick jolt of pain to snap me out of intrusive thoughts if I need.

 

[EternalLight]

About a year ago. I cut my flesh with a razor. It's not a frequent thing for me, but it has been an unfortunate behavior of mine since I was a teen. Like many people, I'd say it's a relieving or satisfying thing, as it's something I have control over. I have scars on my body that will never heal, and I regret that very much.

 

[idontfeellikeimreal]

When was the last time you self harmed and why? Do you keep track on an app?

It was roughly 700 days ago, I was very frustrated and hurt. I felt helpless and didn't feel real. Pain brought me back to reality. I do keep track on an app

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

Sometimes I used razor blades, sometimes I used the blades of a sharpener, someties a knife. Whatever I could get as fast as possible.

How does it make you feel?

I got back to reality through it whenever I lost touch with reality. Watching the blood run down my arms or legs was relaxing. Even watching it dry calmed me down. At first it made me feel good since I was satisfied by the pain and the little high I got from it, but after I felt ashamed and was worried that people would find out.

 

[CutToRelease]

When I was forced to stay in a mental hospital a year ago, I was in withdrawal and felt so trapped I thought I was gonna commit while in there lol. I broke a plastic pen that a doc gave me and did a few jabs on my thighs with it because I obviously didn't have better options

Yo that's why I'm Afraid to get therapy lol. I'm going to die or vanish before I get locked up in a ward. No one gets to take my knifes from me.

 

[scottchy]

Honestly drugs and alcohol are the easiest tools for harming oneself.
Aside from the obvious "feel good" effects they have, they also cause long term damage and the potential for serious injury or possible death.
It's like playing Russian roulette except if you live you get high as shit lol. You always know there's a potential of getting that one deadly round but that's part of the thrill.

 

[happynuclearwinter]

Back when I was in HS I used razor blades. I'd run to the restroom and do my deeds there lol. mostly slits on my left upper wrist.

But nowadays I rely to alcohol.

 

[FaultyCepheus]

I am curious about when people use to self harm so i can get new insights - If you are comfortable with sharing :

When was the last time you self harmed and why? Do you keep track on an app?

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

How does it make you feel?

My responses :

I self harmed a few days ago i want to start using an app to track it i stopped for a while when i was in a relationship but since then sometimes i do it. I normally do it when i start to think a lot or am very sad. Recently i try taking some pills so i don't do it to often again.

I use needles , I used a razon once before and it like felt like it electrocuted me and i never really used it since but maybe i go back to it, but needles i like them i only have one and yes i do use it more times don't worry never got an infection or anything my body is ok but its hard to acquire here in the UK back in Spain and Romania its easy but in the UK they don't give them to you.

It stops me thinking. I think if I went deeper I would probs feel more relaxed but right now its ok i still have marks and for me i only like doing it on the left side of my body anyone else share that or something similar ?

As well do you think that depending on how deep you go you mentally more fucked up i remember back in the day some years ago someone told me like you don't go that deep and it kinda hurt back then have you experienced that? Do you believe in deeper means something?

This is my first ever post thank you for reading this far and i hope your day is not that terrible if it is please try do something to make it better, eat some junk food or game or something else.

I used to a lot until i turned to other things, mainly just razors and boxcutters but the occasional lighting something on fire and pressing it against me or burning myself with cigs. Honestly i dont know why i did it it was just a distraction that made me feel better afterwards, i know i felt like i deserved that pain so it kinda made me feel good

 

[shinitai_sh0jo]

When was the last time you self harmed and why?

August 2024 was the last most serious incident, the wound was too deep and I ended up going to a hospital. I hurt myself in a suicidal-psychotic crisis, where I intended to do ctb (even tho it would not be a good method) but ended up changing my mind, and ended up with only sh. There was an episode in September where I cut right on the wound, but it wasn't as much and I'm not sure if it even counts. I've stopped keeping track of it.

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

I've used a good variety of objects, usually decided by morbid curiosity to see if they would work or sheer despair to cut myself. They're as follow:
- piece of broken hand mirror
- razors
- blunt scissors
- normal pointy scissors
- box-cutter
- another box-cutter (w a thinner blade
- cheese knife
- normal serrated knife
- corkscrew blade
- blade of a flashlight with 6 multi-purpose objects
- pill blister

How does it make you feel?

From what I can recall, it calms my mind and helps my chest from the usual pain that just has lodged itself there when I'm too anguished with something. Its like a mental anesthesia, though also can be quite traumatic at the same time.

A quite shitty addiction that I'm trying to get rid of. I'm clean for a while, but at what cost.

 

[Heartaches]

When was the last time you self harmed and why? Do you keep track on an app?

I sh'd almost one month ago due to stress produced by unexpected life issues.

I have a very hard time tracking everytime I do it. Sometime, I SH multiple times a week or in a month, becoming harder to remember the specific dates.

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

Usually a razor blade, sometimes a box cutter. When I was younger I used almost anything I could get my hands on; I had no concept of sterilized or hazardous tools, nor much knowledge on taking care of cuts (fortunately, most weren't deep so they didn't need specialized care).

Razor blades are my standard due to their availability, easy to hide and easy to maintain. I avoid trying to use one blade too much, but I'll admit, I'm bad at keeping track of my tools, how much I've used them and when to dispose them.

I don't use box cutters often due to the residue and possible contamination when it comes in contact with exposed skin, but they come in handy when I'm desperate.

How does it make you feel?

Miserable. It relieves an itch but leaves a long-lasting bad taste. Helps me cry as well, which is hard for me to do. And hurting myself helps me stabilize a bit. But at the end, I feel empty and hurt.

 

[SadRatQueen]

When was the last time you self harmed and why? Do you keep track on an app?

Last weekend. Typically when I start splitting or going into panic, the pain is too overwhelming. SH for me feels like a type of release, although sometimes not satisfying enough. And no, I don't use an app. I just sh whenever the feelings get to be too much.

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

I use my lighter. Most of the times I give myself "smilies" as I'm better able to control the burn, thus hiding my sh better. Sometimes I just hold my finger in the flame for the same reason.

How does it make you feel?

Depends on the session. Sometimes I don't burn myself hot enough, my outward pain not being able to conceal my inner. Most of the times though? It comforts me, soothing me in ways that other methods just don't. The first contact of the heat, the stinging of the metal, the fade into nothingness as I heat my lighter to do it again. Pure ecstasy in a moment of madness.

 

[harlow-paige]

When was the last time you self harmed and why? Do you keep track on an app?

probably a few months ago now cause it was having bad effects on me. i just somehow generally remember when about i did it last.

usually because stress and breakdowns and being isolated and having nobody to talk to about things.

What object/s you use and how you decided apron using that object/s?

i don't really use anything, or more specifically i use anything, cause my self harm method is hitting my head on stuff to the point i get concussed. i guess it's just immediate and always available and i don't need to think about it

How does it make you feel?

honestly pretty nice, at least for a week or a few days after , it's nice and hazy and dulled down fogginess that just slows my brain down to a slightly more bearable state. but then after post concussion symptoms are a pain and they keep adding up