To me there's nothing sad about being gone from this world in any way. I've always felt
like this. Existing is the tragic thing instead as life is the source of all problems and torment. The thought of no longer existing has always brought me so much comfort as I believe that we simply cease to exist with not even the awareness that we are dead. To die is finally the end of this cruel, unnecessary burden and this life will finally be forgotten about. Instead of being trapped in an existence not worth enduring, there is nothing for all eternity and this is ideal to me. But I've wished to ctb for such a long time, in fact I've never wished to exist but leaving this world can certainly difficult after all. But I do hope you find the freedom that you wish for.