When surviving is just too much

[tiredandconfused]

It's been a long battle. One that at times I thought I could overcome but every day now I feel so tired of being a survivor. In a refuge for a long time now. Staff say I'm stronger than I think. Keep saying things will get better. Is it ok to think they are wrong. I'm 41 now. I can't sleep without nightmares. Injuries have made it hard to live without pain.

Another new town. They say another fresh start but I don't want it. I really want to take control and choose when enough is enough. It feels I like putting on an act each day because I don't want to be a burden.

I will be moved out of the refuge into my own place soon but I would rather it go to someone who still has some hope and fight left in them. I really don't. I wish people could see I can't do this anymore.

 

[Valky]

I am really sorry for your pain :/ I wish life could be easier but also that leaving could be easier..

I really wish you all the best, no matter what you decide to do, you got this :)

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound really tiring and awful what you've been through, and it's very much understandable wishing to be free from all the suffering that existing brings. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[unnormal9]

No shit.