Venting When society and people kick people who are already down...

[TAW122]

When society keeps kicking people down, it pushes them over the edge. Then you get many people who end up suicidal and of the very few, even homicidal. Keep in mind I don't condone nor support the illegal and/or immoral actions of the few. I am partially inspired by @nixonnate32 thread regarding anger, as it shows many of our day to day struggles in life. I find that a lot of times, when people make minor transgressions or even microaggressions, I don't always speak up and when I do, it sparks conflict. It isn't even limited to family or friends, but even strangers sometimes.

Examples (not in any order but in general):
For example, when I had a bad day and I feel like venting about what had happened (whether it would be getting accosted, or just bad treatment by people), then I get people who are either dismissive (intentional and unintentional), or rude, and/or decide to add insult to injury. Sometimes, they'll say "but it's in the past!", "you need to let it go!", "just move on!", as if whatever transgression was ok and since it happened and nothing was done to correct it (or stop it from happening again).

Another example is when I had a bad day or made some mistake, people feel the need to lecture me on and on, or berate me excessively (not just pointing what I did wrong and then leaving it be), then when I speak up about it, I get treated worse, hostile treatment or been guilt tripped (e.g. You should be grateful for xyz because others aren't fortunate, etc.), or more. This is basically them kicking me while I am down, adding insult to injury if you wish to look at it that way.

Third example would be when someone treated me poorly (talking down to me like a child, berating me for something that I already know but using harsh tone of voice, lecturing me), I called out their behavior for their inconsistency instead of just 'pretending' that it didn't happen. At best, I would get some nonchalant, to hell with your feelings or your mood to you deserved that treatment and I can do what I want. Then when I retort and assert myself, stand my ground, I get worse threats or they start to get more hostile.

Fourth example is whenever I'm in an conversation and at any hint or mention of a negative trait or what seems to others as self-deprecation, they decide to go into savior-instinct mode, whiteknight mode, and it just fucking irritates me even more. Makes me feel more suicidal or at the least, ruins the mood for me, especially if they spewing forth some encouraging, get motivated bullshit. I fucking hate that type of shit, I DON'T FEEL ANYMORE MOTIVATED, in fact, I feel the opposite. But to them, they don't get it and when confronted, they get hostile and defensive, or sometimes ugly about it. Fuck them.

In conclusion, I feel that as long as society keeps kicking people who are down, either by verbal threats, threat of force, bullying, shaming and even dismissive treatment, then those people will eventually go over the edge and end up either CTB'ing (when they might not otherwise) or doing harm to others and then either suffering consequences or also end up CTB'ing (again I don't support nor condone their actions). In short, I feel like the ultimate middle finger is just not to play the game anymore, to check out and never again be a part of society by CTB'ing. I don't solely CTB out of anger and vengeance (but for many other reasons as stated in another of my threads), but I see my anger and vengeance more as a secondary, perhaps even tertiary byproduct of what all that has happened.

Does anyone relate or feel this way?

Edit: Added a fourth example.

 

[faust]

Thank you for your post, it is as usual great and informative
I can relate.
That was in another school in my town. A kid was bullied by his brother and he CTB leaving a note that he hates his brother and brother is guilty in the things that happened.
Another issue with my gf.
She has BPD, anxiety and panic attacks. Instead of going to psychiatrist, her mom always tell like cmon, stop being so lazy, you have nothing to do, that's why you feel like shit. When I told her mom I feel horrible, she told me something same but very politely.
Our aggression is not that bad yet if we have it. We can hear not too often about these cases, but almost every 1-2 year, a kid/student comes to school with firearm and kills a lot of people because of bullying.
In Russia in 2019 was a case when in army a conscript was bullied and the last thing they said to him that he will be raped. What he did? He took a gun and shot 8 people who bullied him including officer.
I hate myself those talks that "You are not too bad, everything will go better, it is just temporary, you are just an idiot, slacker.... "But aggression is not typical for me although it is very annoying.
And I am putting a dot on Greta Thurnberg. Many people say that her phrase "You stole my childhood" is very selfish because "Many African kids would love to have a childhood like yours in rich and developed Sweden".
If we manage to get rid of toxicity in our society, there won't be any bullying, shaming or insulting pro-lifers.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

I killed and tortured innocent kittens, bragged about it to my friend and incriminated myself like a total idiot, then my friend ratted me to the cops (even lied to them that I am a part of a Nazi organization and the KKK or some bull shit) and now it's all public and my life is destroyed. The reason i killed the kittens was because I built up so much anger over the years and I think I snapped and did evil things I would have never even thought of doing when I was younger. I actually had a couple kittens that I loved and snuggled with at home, but one had to be put down and the other ran away (I think if my second kitten didn't run away I wouldn't have killed kittens as I would have had something to cuddle with and make me happy and take the anger away kind of). I have nothing against animals, I just took my anger out on them and became violent uncontrollably. Now that I realize what I have done and how my life is destroyed, getting arrested and having the cops raid my bedroom and steal my personal property (phone and laptop, which kept me happy as it took my focus off shitty reality), and having to speak to useless legal counsellors and go to court tons of times, I am committing suicide as they are forcing me to.

They want to give me, a troubled 18 year old, a criminal record, ruin my reputation by making all this public, and keep me on fucking bail and I might even get jail time which solves nothing. Due to the criminal record, my dream career I've always wanted is gone, I'll never travel to countries like the US, trouble finding a job, etc., and I'm just being shamed and fucked by the authorities.

Police officers (the RCMP here in Canada), from my experience, are not here to "serve and protect." They are here to deliberately ruin lives. They give people tickets for going 10 above the speed limit which who gives a fuck, they ruin peoples' days, they crash New Years Eve parties, and they destroy young teenagers' lives (like mine). If you talk to police, they use anything you say AGAINST you, rather than to help you. That proves police are just like the Gestapo in Nazi Germany. Very sad how society runs to make people suicidal like this. Maybe they WANT to make people suicidal so that the "bad eggs" just die off.

 

[TAW122]

@TheSuicidalEccentric While I am not going to judge you for what you have done and it's very brave of you to open up like this, I can't promise that others on here would be as understanding or sympathetic. I'm glad that you aren't torturing innocent kittens or animals anymore and that was during your teenage years (most teenagers do a lot of things they regret and are ruled mostly by hormones and emotions more than logic and self-control). As for your future and what not, I am going to say that the grass isn't necessarily 'greener' on the other side. The US has it's own problems too and the police here are authoritarian as well (as most parts of the world too). I'm sorry that life has been shitty to you and I hope you will find peace, whatever your decision is from the present and onwards.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

@TheSuicidalEccentric While I am not going to judge you for what you have done and it's very brave of you to open up like this, I can't promise that others on here would be as understanding or sympathetic. I'm glad that you aren't torturing innocent kittens or animals anymore and that was during your teenage years (most teenagers do a lot of things they regret and are ruled mostly by hormones and emotions more than logic and self-control). As for your future and what not, I am going to say that the grass isn't necessarily 'greener' on the other side. The US has it's own problems too and the police here are authoritarian as well (as most parts of the world too). I'm sorry that life has been shitty to you and I hope you will find peace, whatever your decision is from the present and onwards.

Thank you for understanding. That's exactly what it was, being a dumb 18 year old disobeying logic and acting on my emotions and dumb impulses. Not many people in Western society would be understanding of what I did, as it is socially unacceptable to do that here and not very common in teenagers (it is also textbook future-serial-killer behaviour, even though I would never kill anybody). In Eastern Asia, I would have suffered no consequences whatsoever. I guess it depends on your society and culture. And yeah the US is shit in that way but they have great entertainment and stuff, and good people. Canada has just gone down the shitter with Trudeau and all our new problems as well. I will find peace with my death; at least I hope so I don't know

 

[noaccount]

...thrw_a_way, yes, all the time. it's very very basic intuitive, inborn wisdom that it's not wrong to feel pain, it's just wrong to inflict pain on other people... yet there are all sorts of bribes we're offered, to act like the opposite is true. business owners fill cities with hostile architecture, push the poor and homeless further into destitution, and act like they're more virtuous based on their ability to consume more. i too struggle with urges to kill myself to get away from this dynamic, and struggle to find chances to actually *rest* while still alive. to find understanding and not feel like my mind is being beaten out of my body. the point of using our creative-powers as social animals is to provide for each other, that's it, that's why to be alive instead of dead. the indigenous people in british colombia right now are trying to hold land in-common to do that with, and the rcmp are at war with them trying to turn it over to the oil companies, i'm given some hope by how many people are fighting that... the whole mindset is terrifying to me, i read 'columbus and other cannibals' a few years back and i felt it gave a good diagnosis of the situation.

 

[elacnt]

There's a phrase we say in my country which is "chutar cachorro morto" and It means like "to kick a dead dog".
Which means to kick someone who's already on the floor. And that's it. It's how I feel most of the time, when I'm already down and people and mostly life keep kicking me.

 

[itsmeagain]

I feel like people like to do this. But they don't see it as kicking someone who's down. They think they're teaching and rewiring how we think. They think that by doing this, they're showing us that life is worth living. That there's hope in a situation that's hopeless, anymore.

 

[rntmss]

Thank you for understanding. That's exactly what it was, being a dumb 18 year old disobeying logic and acting on my emotions and dumb impulses. Not many people in Western society would be understanding of what I did, as it is socially unacceptable to do that here and not very common in teenagers (it is also textbook future-serial-killer behaviour, even though I would never kill anybody). In Eastern Asia, I would have suffered no consequences whatsoever. I guess it depends on your society and culture. And yeah the US is shit in that way but they have great entertainment and stuff, and good people. Canada has just gone down the shitter with Trudeau and all our new problems as well. I will find peace with my death; at least I hope so I don't know

My friend, I would be very careful of what you're posting if you have the RCMP on your back. You don't want these things being brought up in court because your ISP provided internet history to the prosecution

Please just take a deep breath and hang in there. We've all made mistakes in life.

 

[alizee]

I consider a lot of suicides the result of others. I even think it would be right to assume the majority of suicides are the result of others harming an individual and drastically altering the life of the victim that commits suicide.

Homicide suicide is something I don't like to think about because I can see it being justified to the person committing it and when knowing the forgoing. Homicide is never justified legally or to people that will never consider either suicide or homicide and which is why most people don't realize why school shootings happen so often in USA. People get bullied a lot and have their lives destroyed by the bullies that contrary to common belief end up with okay lives usually. Society is constructed for aggressiveness to prevail often.

Another thing to think about is most young people in USA cannot get therapy because of the cost with taking time out of the day for seeing someone every week. There is stigma associated with therapy as well. I think culture has it being conditioned in us to not like telling people our troubles in person (online being different). So therapy has internal conflict associated with it. Victims who try to talk to their friends likely have been shunned. Parents may not want to listen or are exhausted from work.

Homicide suicides are mostly men from what I've read. I'm not sure why that is because vengeance is a real thing for both genders.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

My friend, I would be very careful of what you're posting if you have the RCMP on your back. You don't want these things being brought up in court because your ISP provided internet history to the prosecution

Please just take a deep breath and hang in there. We've all made mistakes in life.

I'm already fucked anyway since they stole my laptop and phone which has really incriminating shit on it. I couldn't give a fuck anymore. I'm using a VPN but who knows if those fucks can get through it or not (might be able to idk). My reputation is already destroyed anyway. I literally have zero dignity left. They can bring it all up in court if they want to. I hope it goes to the prosecution; it will increase my willpower to commit suicide. Thanks for the tip, but as I said, I'm already dead inside.