CyberCat95
Member
- Jan 30, 2022
- 42
This is just me venting really but feel free to share experiences.
I haven't had much luck with mental health services at all, I was always being passed from one place to another like they had no idea what to do with me. Fair enough really, I don't either.
Anyway, late 2021 I started accessing a non clinical mental health service. It was a new thing and changed a bit in the first year but overall it was a good experience, I was going out more and even though the staff weren't trained counsellors I felt comfortable enough for the first time to talk about certain things that had happened in the past, I guess that was mistake number one because I wasn't getting any other support so didn't really know how to process any of it properly. But I am glad I did, it was the first time I'd spoken about it all and it did help and it was validating for staff to agree i wasn't just overreacting.
recently the service changed a lot. Fair enough it's only meant to be short term but for some people that's just not possible. There were quite a few people there who got kicked out for being there too long. I made the choice to leave.
A few months before that I made the mistake of telling them I was still very much wanting to ctb. I only did that because I was kinda scared and unsure. Its proper screwed me over. I had so many good things lined up that they thought I was 'too sick' to do when in reality one of the reasons I was feeling like that still was because I felt like I was going nowhere and nothing was happening. It would have helped. I had explained that to them but they didn't listen. So now here I am with no support whatsoever and even less going for me than I did before and a more solid plan to ctb than ever. But this time I've made more peace with it.
I think the main thing I learnt over the past year is distractions can be good for a while but they don't get rid of the underlying feelings. And also to shut my mouth.
I'm mad, mainly at myself though. I should have just shut up and got on with it. I only needed to hang on another 2 weeks and things might not have been perfect but I would have had so many opportunities. But no, I panicked and told the truth. Being honest didn't even help. It made everything so much worse and has made me want to ctb even more.
I can't stop thinking back to what some of the staff had said as well, all good things. I guess that was all a lie and people only care when they're paid or it benefits them in some way.
I haven't had much luck with mental health services at all, I was always being passed from one place to another like they had no idea what to do with me. Fair enough really, I don't either.
Anyway, late 2021 I started accessing a non clinical mental health service. It was a new thing and changed a bit in the first year but overall it was a good experience, I was going out more and even though the staff weren't trained counsellors I felt comfortable enough for the first time to talk about certain things that had happened in the past, I guess that was mistake number one because I wasn't getting any other support so didn't really know how to process any of it properly. But I am glad I did, it was the first time I'd spoken about it all and it did help and it was validating for staff to agree i wasn't just overreacting.
recently the service changed a lot. Fair enough it's only meant to be short term but for some people that's just not possible. There were quite a few people there who got kicked out for being there too long. I made the choice to leave.
A few months before that I made the mistake of telling them I was still very much wanting to ctb. I only did that because I was kinda scared and unsure. Its proper screwed me over. I had so many good things lined up that they thought I was 'too sick' to do when in reality one of the reasons I was feeling like that still was because I felt like I was going nowhere and nothing was happening. It would have helped. I had explained that to them but they didn't listen. So now here I am with no support whatsoever and even less going for me than I did before and a more solid plan to ctb than ever. But this time I've made more peace with it.
I think the main thing I learnt over the past year is distractions can be good for a while but they don't get rid of the underlying feelings. And also to shut my mouth.
I'm mad, mainly at myself though. I should have just shut up and got on with it. I only needed to hang on another 2 weeks and things might not have been perfect but I would have had so many opportunities. But no, I panicked and told the truth. Being honest didn't even help. It made everything so much worse and has made me want to ctb even more.
I can't stop thinking back to what some of the staff had said as well, all good things. I guess that was all a lie and people only care when they're paid or it benefits them in some way.