Help When physical pain is too much

[Isadeth]

This as a mix between venting and help, maybe help isn't for this especially, but I'm asking for help so it seemed fitting:

Emotional pain is a common topic on here. I fully understand all too well how horrific it can be. Whether it was from childhood trauma, relationships, or whatever circumstances you're experiencing. But less common is physical. Emotional pain can manifest into physical ailments, but what about just physical without emotional playing a role?

I've read multiple posts about members here that do, unfortunately, also suffer from physical pain and in turn it becomes depression. We're all so unique in what we experience, and whatever is too much to bear often is what led us here. ---thank you for a place to learn, vent, connect, and not feel so alone.

I've made a few comments about my own ailments and circumstances. I've had lovely chats with many caring members. But while I can spread positivity and kindness, I often find myself waiting. What am I waiting for? Well for starters, I'm waiting for answers. I'm waiting until I feel my own obligations are fulfilled. I'm waiting because I feel like I'll hurt many people with my passing. But what about my pain?

Some days it's easier to suffer and put a smile on my face, and others all I think about is putting a gun to my head. Especially recently. When I broke my neck over a decade ago I was thankful. Thankful I was alive, thankful I wasn't paralyzed, and thankful my horse was okay. But as time went on the physical pain became unrelenting. For so long I've attempted to live a normal life, despite being anything but. As an adult I vowed to be the person/friend/parent that younger me needed but for others. Hence the internal struggle.

I'm in so much physical pain from multiple ailments, but I focus on one in particular. However, I work, I continue with education as needed, and I try to be social ---not well, but I try. I want a permanent fix. Recently, my pain has become so unbearable that unless I'm sleeping it's hard to control impulsivity of making it stop. I'm on the hunt for a neurosurgeon to operate and possibly help -- covid-19 is making this difficult... I'm not holding my breath, but it's the one thing keeping me going. Hope. It's fleeting, but it's still there, at least when I'm reminded it's there.

I am reaching out to see if anyone else here that is still active can offer suggestions or advice for what has worked for them. I have had a constant headache (apparently migraines, but I always classified a migraine when the headaches became worse coupled with vomiting), now I'm experiencing occipital neuralgia headaches. Those on top of my regular headaches are proving too much. The best way to describe them would be someone is taking a baseball bat to the back of my head every few minutes but the bat has electricity. This sends a pain wave through the top of my head and pressure on my eyes. At this point I wish someone would take a real bat to my head.

Here's what I've tried in the past:

• countless medications i.e. triptans, antidepressants, nasal sprays, the traditional migraine medications, vitamins, magnesium, benzos, opiates etc.
• botox
• radiofrequency nerve ablation
• chiropractic adjustments
• epidurals
• steroid injections
• PRP injections
• infusion therapy
• physical therapy
• donating all of my hair
• biofeedback
• chromagen lenses
• quitting smoking
• diet changes
• heat
• ice

Basically everything suggested to anyone presenting with headaches/migraines. I'm sure the only option at this point is seeing a neurosurgeon. I feel like a lab rat. I'm terrified I have to start over.


If anyone has suggestions I'd be grateful.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be here, especially if I can't get this under control. I am growing impatient and just biding my time. I need this to stop.

Thank you for anyone that took the time to read this and/or comment. ♡

 

[Isadeth]

I'm in a similar situation as you, albeit the symptoms are different. I use a rife machine to control symptoms but it doesn't work for all diseases. I have a rather weak immune system and when I began displaying covid symptoms, it managed to eradicate illness within 3 days. There are a number of chronic pain frequencies within the machine that are useful although it won't be a permanent fix. The company I ordered from is called spooky2 if you're curious.

I wish I could offer something better for you, but I'll cross my fingers that a neurosurgeon will be able to more accurately pinpoint the underlying cause and address it. So many of us here know the hell of chronic pain and so you're not alone.

Thank you for commenting ♡ is the rife machine similar to a TENS unit?

 

[airboy_a380]

Oh isadeth u always so nice to me, I didn't know you were in so much suffering yourself. I feel like a lab rat myself too at hands of doctors. That pain u describe must be unbearable. Seems my issues so much less that what you're facing. I never met you in person, but i can describe someone by the way you write to me and other threads I've seen you interact. Your words are always so soothing to me and yet you are in so much pain. Give that Neuro surgeon a try, we Need more people like you, I don't wanna see you go, as selfish as this may sound.

 

[paramhansyogi]

Neurosurgeon is the best option I think
Hope you get well soon
I can even feel the pain in your post

 

[Isadeth]

Oh isadeth u always so nice to me, I didn't know you were in so much suffering yourself. I feel like a lab rat myself too at hands of doctors. That pain u describe must be unbearable. Seems my issues so much less that what you're facing. I never met you in person, but i can describe someone by the way you write to me and other threads I've seen you interact. Your words are always so soothing to me and yet you are in so much pain. Give that Neuro surgeon a try, we Need more people like you, I don't wanna see you go, as selfish as this may sound.

Nobody's reason or issues they're facing are any less "heavy"... we're all here because we're dealt something too heavy to overcome. Please don't feel my reasons are more valid than yours. You're such a kind person, in fact, most members here are some of the kindest people I've encountered, don't lose that quality @airboy_a380 . I'm not going anywhere yet, but it's not easy, love. ♡

Neurosurgeon is the best option I think
Hope you get well soon
I can even feel the pain in your post

Thank you ♡ I think you're right. It's the burden of finding the right one, especially during this pandemic, that's proving difficult. If I could, I would operate on myself Haha

 

[SadGuyWannaDie]

I have had a constant headache (apparently migraines, but I always classified a migraine when the headaches became worse coupled with vomiting), now I'm experiencing occipital neuralgia headaches. Those on top of my regular headaches are proving too much. The best way to describe them would be someone is taking a baseball bat to the back of my head every few minutes but the bat has electricity. This sends a pain wave through the top of my head and pressure on my eyes. At this point I wish someone would take a real bat to my head.

It sounds like the pain your describing could be possibly be cluster headaches also known as suicide headaches because the pain is so indescribable the sufferer would do anything to stop it. I wish I knew of a way to ease your pain that was easily obtainable for all but I do know that psilocybin the active ingredient in psychedelic magic mushrooms which are illegal in my country and also LSD aka acid(also illegal) have both shown promise treating headaches nothing else will. I hope that I'm not giving you or any other sufferers reading this false hope because for some those things might be completely unobtainable but I couldn't just keep scrolling by and not at least try to spread the information. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/...ing-mushrooms-to-cure-their-cluster-headaches

 

[Caspers]

Have you heard of temporomandibular joint disorders, or TMJ for short? I have a jaw misalignment which means there is constant pressure on my head, and pain killers do little to help when it wants to hit.

Have you tried wearing a mouth brace at night? I got one from time 2 sleep (idk if it's uk only, but I'd suggest having a look) and it slightly helps with teeth grinding and clenching during the night, which could be one thing that makes your headaches worse.

TMJ often happens after head trauma, so there is a possibility that could be contributing to making the headaches worse. I was going to see my dentist about it, but they cancelled due to corona. I'd suggest you look into that and see whether that may be a contributing part to the headaches? I've been taking lithium orotate for just over a week, and it has slightly helped with decreasing the headaches. The other day I woke up feeling like I was having a headache, but there was no pain. Strange

 

[Isadeth]

It sounds like the pain your describing could be possibly be cluster headaches also known as suicide headaches because the pain is so indescribable the sufferer would do anything to stop it. I wish I knew of a way to ease your pain that was easily obtainable for all but I do know that psilocybin the active ingredient in psychedelic magic mushrooms which are illegal in my country and also LSD aka acid(also illegal) have both shown promise treating headaches nothing else will. I hope that I'm not giving you or any other sufferers reading this false hope because for some those things might be completely unobtainable but I couldn't just keep scrolling by and not at least try to spread the information. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/...ing-mushrooms-to-cure-their-cluster-headaches

Thank you for your input. I have been toying with the idea of trying whatever means necessary, whether this involves experimental surgeries/clinical trials, or "drugs". I have been in contact with a lovely woman who grows for veterans with PTSD. Since psychedelics have been used widely in the past with phenomenal results for multiple ailments, I'm definitely not opposed. The pain is my main focus, mainly because it greatly exasperated my suicidal ideation, but even if they don't work for the physical it wouldn't be horrible if they could bide time for my mental health.

It's appalling how we have all these means to help others but with strict regulations that promote suffering. Often times the "cure" is worse than the disease. But that's enough of my little rant on that lol

Thank you again for the suggestion. I'll definitely try to use it. ♡

 

[Isadeth]

Have you heard of temporomandibular joint disorders, or TMJ for short? I have a jaw misalignment which means there is constant pressure on my head, and pain killers do little to help when it wants to hit.

Have you tried wearing a mouth brace at night? I got one from time 2 sleep (idk if it's uk only, but I'd suggest having a look) and it slightly helps with teeth grinding and clenching during the night, which could be one thing that makes your headaches worse.

TMJ often happens after head trauma, so there is a possibility that could be contributing to making the headaches worse. I was going to see my dentist about it, but they cancelled due to corona. I'd suggest you look into that and see whether that may be a contributing part to the headaches? I've been taking lithium orotate for just over a week, and it has slightly helped with decreasing the headaches. The other day I woke up feeling like I was having a headache, but there was no pain. Strange

Yes, unfortunately I have tried multiple options for TMJ. Most of which started in young childhood. I was given the option of having my jaw broken and realigned or braces. As a child, obviously braces sounded like a better option. I didn't choose correctly. After my accident I had so many steroid injections that when I finally did get an appointment with a maxillofacial surgeon, it was discovered my bones had deteriorated so he refused to operate as my jaw could have turned necrotic.

I've recently obtained cervical MRI results which show a herniated disc and dural nerve root protrusion and ballooning. So C3-C7 are not great, which I expected. What I didn't expect is now they want to examine my lumbosacral area, as they're suspecting I keep leaking CSF. I'm attempting to find a proper surgeon that won't just take my case because I'm desperate (unfortunately I've been known to leap at any opportunity for relief and end up paying for it dearly) but rather because they're confident and highly regarded.

This pain has definitely not been good for my TMJ; however, I can only hope if I can get this resolved then maybe a majority of other pain can follow suit. ♡