Venting When people post those offers of help for those who might be considering ctb

[gr1lledcheese]

Every once in a while I'll see a friend of mine on social media put up a post offering help to anyone considering suicide. I never respond of course because I know they don't really want to know how I feel. No one really does. Instead I roll my eyes and keep scrolling.
And those suicide prevention phone numbers don't offer help; they just refer you to a place that gives you more referrals for getting therapy.
At least that's been my experience.

Anyway I've hit the end. I plan to ctb next weekend. Not sure if I want to do it here, or get another motel room. I have an antiemetic now, and I've never opened my SN so it should be okay. I have a shower curtain liner I plan to put over the bed. I also have some Valium - and I now know to take it sooner rather than later.
I guess I'll seek out a chat room when the time comes.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Some people like to help people in need. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I have to take them at their word that they whole-heartedly want to try and help for the right reasons. I believe in everyone's right to determine their own destiny, and that includes leaving this world if it makes them miserable. You sound like you have formulated a plan, maybe with some modifications from previous attempts, and have thought through what is best for you. There is a chat right here on SaSu. Whatever you decide, I hope you find that peace you seek.

 

[gr1lledcheese]

Some people like to help people in need. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I have to take them at their word that they whole-heartedly want to try and help for the right reasons. I believe in everyone's right to determine their own destiny, and that includes leaving this world if it makes them miserable. You sound like you have formulated a plan, maybe with some modifications from previous attempts, and have thought through what is best for you. There is a chat right here on SaSu. Whatever you decide, I hope you find that peace you seek.

Yeah. I got some SN last December after finding this place, and planned to ctb back in early February. I would have gone through with it but panicked at the last minute.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah. I got some SN last December after finding this place, and planned to ctb back in early February. I would have gone through with it but panicked at the last minute.

It's hard. How hard it is can't be diminished. Anyone saying otherwise isn't being truthful to themselves. There can come a point where there just isn't any point in going on, when all of the hope fades, when the reason(s) for needing to get out are the ONLY reasons that drive a person's existence. That's where a person is when they go through with ctb. I suppose that's the meaning of rock bottom. I've heard there can be a strange "calm" that comes over someone when they reach that point because, I assume, it's like a weight has been lifted from their shoulders, the weight of hope. If it is for you, I hope you reach that place and it has that peaceful, calming effect on you, too, and gets you to your place of peace and solace.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide should be viewed as a rational choice to end suffering rather than something that needs to be helped and must be prevented. Many people simply come to the conclusion that life is not worth living. There is nothing actually wrong with suicide and I wish that we lived in a world where this fact is accepted and our right to die is respected. I think that many people try to 'help' just to make themselves feel better, they don't actually care, most people don't care at all.

Suicide hotlines are certainly useless as they cannot take away any problems that people are going through. The suffering in this world is very real and to me, dying is the only way to escape from the pain of existence. Many people are simply delusional in thinking that 'things will always get better' and that there is a solution for most problems. For me life itself is the problem. There are an unlimited amount of things wrong with existing.
I hope that you find freedom from your suffering, we don't deserve the pain that this life gives us.

 

[gr1lledcheese]

It's hard. How hard it is can't be diminished. Anyone saying otherwise isn't being truthful to themselves. There can come a point where there just isn't any point in going on, when all of the hope fades, when the reason(s) for needing to get out are the ONLY reasons that drive a person's existence. That's where a person is when they go through with ctb. I suppose that's the meaning of rock bottom. I've heard there can be a strange "calm" that comes over someone when they reach that point because, I assume, it's like a weight has been lifted from their shoulders, the weight of hope. If it is for you, I hope you reach that place and it has that peaceful, calming effect on you, too, and gets you to your place of peace and solace.

A strange calm. I hope that's true. Last time I started feeling lonely, and longed to go back to my friend's house (where I'm staying rn). She has dogs and I wanted to see them again. Of course when I returned it was late and though they came out to greet me, she soon pulled them back in her room where they spent the night. After that I regretted coming back because even thought I love her pups, they're not mine.
I'm in a different place now. I have a job, but I can tell that as I get more clients it will become overwhelming for me, and I'll get fired. At this point in my life (I just turned 60) I can't afford to go from job to job, especially since I have health problems ( expensive ones).
That's why I plan to ctb.

Suicide should be viewed as a rational choice to end suffering rather than something that needs to be helped and must be prevented. Many people simply come to the conclusion that life is not worth living. There is nothing actually wrong with suicide and I wish that we lived in a world where this fact is accepted and our right to die is respected. I think that many people try to 'help' just to make themselves feel better, they don't actually care, most people don't care at all.

Suicide hotlines are certainly useless as they cannot take away any problems that people are going through. The suffering in this world is very real and to me, dying is the only way to escape from the pain of existence. Many people are simply delusional in thinking that 'things will always get better' and that there is a solution for most problems. For me life itself is the problem. There are an unlimited amount of things wrong with existing.
I hope that you find freedom from your suffering, we don't deserve the pain that this life gives us.

I couldn't have said it better myself.
And thank you for your kind words.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

A strange calm

Maybe an "unfamiliar calm" is a better characterization.

 

[ojinzo]

Every once in a while I'll see a friend of mine on social media put up a post offering help to anyone considering suicide. I never respond of course because I know they don't really want to know how I feel. No one really does. Instead I roll my eyes and keep scrolling.
And those suicide prevention phone numbers don't offer help; they just refer you to a place that gives you more referrals for getting therapy.
At least that's been my experience.

Anyway I've hit the end. I plan to ctb next weekend. Not sure if I want to do it here, or get another motel room. I have an antiemetic now, and I've never opened my SN so it should be okay. I have a shower curtain liner I plan to put over the bed. I also have some Valium - and I now know to take it sooner rather than later.
I guess I'll seek out a chat room when the time comes.

The only help I want is help doing it! Miss me with the bullshit.